Ask Dr. Bate

I wanted to ask if there was ever a time when you watch a video or something in real life that got your cock rock hard instantly?

I do know a few men in my life that will get instantly rock hard from words, videos, photos, etc. Each person’s genitalia is unique and operates differently. It is important to know that however your cock responds is completely perfect. Remember that comparing your bodily arousal for the sake of judging is never beneficial or productive, but sharing stories is always intriguing! On that note, I would love to hear from other Bate Brothers about what turns you on erotically! Keep exploring!

I've been a member of BW for over 3 years now, and been committed to the solosexual lifestyle for 2 years now. I'm loving it, but would love to share this with someone in a relationship. There aren't many who are dedicated to this sort of lifestyle, but how do you recommend some ways to find someone?

Hello. This past year I've discovered that my interest in bating has grown to the extent that I would rather masturbate on cam rather than watching porn. I moved from my hometown to another country and it hasn't been easy adapting socially. I've had a couple of wanking meet-ups and still look for them, but none appear to be more than a one time thing.

I think I'm looking for someone to be friends with and to share the interest in wanking, plus any others. I find myself pretty often chatting online to try and find a fellow bater. Could this be more like an obsession? Maybe I should try finding non bating friends instead?


I grew up in a Southern Baptist household where sex was never mentioned. My parents never prepared me for what I would experience during puberty and adulthood. Their silence on the subject of sex and the human body, along with the daily humiliations of Junior High, required me to carry the weight of a lot of things I was too young to handle, and the traumas that were buried in me then are still alive today.

I have a urologist who tells me it’s good to ejaculate on a frequent basis, and I’ve read articles that claim masturbation helps to stave off prostate cancer. Can a man go his whole life without ejaculating? Would that be healthy?