Ever wonder why cum shots are a must, regardless of whether you’re watching straight or gay porn? Or if you identify as straight, whether getting an erection at the sight of another man’s hard penis makes you gay? (Of course, it’s totally fine if you are.) As someone who has masturbated all my life to all types of straight, gay and bi porn, and who is fascinated by human sexuality, I’ve asked these questions.
One explanation to these apparent contradictions is the theory of “sperm competition.” In short, sperm competition is an evolutionary adaptation by humans (and other animals), that we learned over hundreds of thousands of years, to increase the likelihood of a particular male fertilizing an egg, and involves the woman having serial sex partners to conceive with the most potent mate.
In his book “Sex at Dawn,” Christopher Ryan explores evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy and psycho-sexuality to show how far from human nature monogamy really is. Ryan writes, “Here’s a head scratcher. Why do heterosexual men get off on pornography featuring groups of guys having sex with just one woman? It doesn’t add up, if you think about it. It’s more cone than ice cream. And the suggestive strangeness doesn’t end with the counter-intuitive male-to-female ratio; it’s male ejaculation that puts the money in the money shot.”
As BateWorld member alwayshrdguy, who identifies as straight puts it, “Watching another cock grow for some reason triggers something in mine and has the same effect on mine. And seeing them stroking, hearing their moans gets me going and I go stroke for stroke. When their cum flies it always pushes me over the top the same as when my girlfriend goes to town on me.”
So sperm competition explains why even for straight guys, the sight of an erect penis and another man’s ejaculation, get them hard and ready to go. Through evolutionary hard wiring he is primed by that stimulus to be the next in line so to speak.
In their book, “A Billion Wicked Thoughts,” neuroscientists, Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam do a deep dive into mountains of data on people’s porn searches to show what the Internet reveals about our sexual turn ons. They write, “British psychologist Nicholas Pound even speculates that the erect penis and the ‘money shot’ are both visual cues of sperm competition that trigger arousal.” Further, “sperm competition cues may also help explain another popular genre of male-targeted online porn: group sex…Pound discovered that men are consistently more aroused by multiple men than multiple women or by a man and a woman.”
Are you turned on by big heads and long shafts? According to Ogas and Gaddam, “Many biologists hypothesize that the bulbous head and extended length of the human penis is another physiological adaptation. Its shape is very effective at shoveling out the sperm of any rivals.”
Like to watch guys thrusting into women where you see the guys’ ass muscles clenching as he pounds her? A 2003 study by Gordon G. Gallup and colleagues concluded that one evolutionary purpose of the thrusting motion characteristic of intense intercourse is for the penis to “upsuck” another man’s semen before depositing its own.
According to Ogas and Gaddam, “One final piece of evidence from the Internet supports the existence of a sperm competition cue in the male brain. In gay porn, gang bangs are also extremely popular.”
My point here is not about labels per se, and it is healthy to explore our naturally fluid sexual orientation. However, getting a boner at the sight of a large male organ and cum shot may, or may not, have anything to do with your sexual orientation, but everything to do simply with being a man, whether you are straight, gay or bi. It is how your male brain has evolved for successful breeding over hundreds of thousands of years. Boners are contagious, like yawning.
Arousal cues due to sperm competition is just another reason all men are brothers in the bate, and why masturbation has no orientation and is just a natural and fun thing for two or more guys to do together and bond, including if you’re straight. So, next time you’re with the guys and someone puts on a porno, don’t be afraid to suggest that you all haul it out. Chances are, they will want to also.
Below are two additional quotes I obtained for the article:
A straight BateWorld member who asked to remain anonymous said, “I just find it incredibly arousing to watch another guy in his most primal pleasure, most in tune with himself in that moment. Seeing him hard is watching his body do what it’s naturally supposed to do. Watching him cum is to see him succumb to the deepest pleasure while extracting liquid that makes him a man. I love watching a guy jerk off and shoot his load because it makes me feel connected as a man – I know his pleasure and he knows mine.”
As straight BateWorld member who also asked to remain anonymous puts it, “I’ve always masturbated to straight porn and as a teen and young adult would do it with guys when we looked at it. We never jerked each other off. However the Internet did broaden my masturbation horizons for it to be okay to stroke, jerk off, and to help another guy, dude, or friend to get his nut. It may be that his wife, fiancé or girlfriend may not be able to help him get the satisfaction that he’s looking for in his orgasm.”
**This article is not meant in any way to condone any form of non-consensual group sex**
Stefan Jax is known as DoggyBoner on BW
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This is a very interesting article and makes me hope someone will write a companion piece someday which will answer the following questions: How did gay men evolve alongside straight men if the heavily-scrutinized mechanics of arousal, deep thrusting, upsucking and ejaculation are uniformly ascribed to reproduction efforts? When a gay man fxxs a man, is he merely mimicking the actions of a straight man with a woman due to some subsumed and denied heterosexual instinct? Do gay men masturbate to show off and perform sex acts as competition until the ‘right woman’ shows up? I’d like to know how we fit into the evolutionary picture and am looking forward to theories that are fully inclusive, affirming and truly representative.
Hi Eric. So I think there are several different ideas to dissect in your questions. Our understanding of “gay” and “straight” is recent in terms of definition. Historically there were no names for identities, just for behaviors and those were accepted, or not, depending on the culture, time or even social class. It wasn’t always scrutinized to the same degree in different places at different times. That’s what makes any “conclusive” and/or “consistent” “gay vs straight” theory difficult- in my opinion at least.
That said, one constant is the elusive nature of desire… perhaps the bigger question is how desires (same and opposite sex were perceived over time…?)
On the evolutionary side if you ask the question why do gay men exist there have been some interesting recent studies I found interesting at least… happy to dig up the references but one was a TED talk in which the presenter proposed it was for the common good of the family or tribe (someone to take care of the elders, etc.). Interesting at least to watch. Happy to share with any of you, just PM me. Rugbydude on BW.
Homosexual behaviors don’t just exist in humans. It is seen in over 1500 species. Scientists do not yet know the exact cause of sexual orientation. Also, homosexuality isn’t just about sex. There is romance as well. But scientists theorize that it is caused by a complex interplay of genetic, hornonal, and environmental influences. A study found for instance, the more sons a woman has, the more likely the youngest one(s) are gay. For instance, I’m gay and I have an older brother. The idea is that the level of testosterone needed during embryonic development dwindles with each male fetus. It is also why lesbians tend to be the oldest of the female offspring.
@EricSVF, I totally agree. Chapter 7 in “A Billion Wicked Thoughts” is titled, “Boys Will Be Boys – Gay Cues,” and looks at what they found in terms of both similarities and differences between str8 and gay men. (One interesting factoid they report is, “The average length of the gay penis is 6.32 inches. The average length of the straight penis is 5.99 inches.” Ha!)
Having puzzled over human sexuality and read anything I can get my hands on since I was a teenager, I haven’t found a single unified theory of human (or animal) sexuality that explains the entire gay/bi/str8 spectrum. While this article speaks to str8 men’s experiences, I do hope more is written and learned about gay sexuality, and all sexuality. As a bisexual man who has been all over the Kinsey or Klein scales in my life, I do not consider myself 50/50 gay and str8 but prefer to think of myself as “100% gay *and* 100% str8.” I just like to say I’m the “B” in LGBTQ. And you are right that no theory of human sexuality can be fully inclusive, affirming and representative without a fair and equal treatment of men who are totally and proudly gay.
Love when posts like this get a conversation going, So interesting about the labeling process, the instinctual need to breed and other related topics. Personally I think our label could be we’re all just sexual.
Of course we’ve all likely heard the term they’re fucking like wild animals. Interestingly enough, apparently we’re top of the food chain when it comes to sex when compared to other critters. With few exceptions like dolphins.
And how our penis (similar to other animals) is designed to push or sweep out the last ‘depositors’ sperm.. Again part of the breeding competition which you discuss in your post.
Gimme a break. What a crock of shit. Love how “straight” guys are perfectly fine claiming they’re heterosexual, but the second they might be anything else, they’re suddenly “not into labels” and then they create this psychobabble bull crap to justify why they’re still straight even tho they jack off to dudes and/or have sexual relations with other dudes.
Get over your self and gain some fxxxxg awareness.
@Sheigh Thanks for your comment. I base what I’m writing not just on the research but on self-report of the guys, and it’s consistent with all the polling I’ve done on BateWorld so far with people’s comments, albeit non-scientifically. While there’s good reason to question whether a man who is turned on by sex with men may not be “straight,” I think you can also say that a man who is not 100% hetero in thought and deed can honestly identity that way without there being a contradiction. And without it diminishing in any way men with predominantly same-sex attraction. I respect how str8 bators choose to identify as much as I respect any man who identifies as gay, bi, pansexual or solosexual. There’s a lot of shade cast in all directions over the sexuality issue, which is unfortunate. I see masturbation as a big tent where all men are brothers regardless of whether they are gay, bi or str8. I think it’s a good discussion to have.
Stefan, thank you for your respectful and well-articulated articles.
I would just challenge you on one point which I do believe is important. If labels are not important, then why continue to hammer home the thought that guys can be “straight” while enjoying sex with other guys (including bating)? If you want to be philosophically consistent then drop the categorizations, the terminology… let go of the labels and encourage men to be themselves– that it’s OK to feel desire for men from time to time, to different degrees and in different expressions. That being a man doesn’t mean you have to subscribe to x y or z. I get the point, this whole thing of using labels with a positive intention to reassure guys that they shouldn’t be afraid of same-sex attraction insofar as it makes them feel more OK… but for those of us who are gay you also have to understand it also reinforces some negative attitudes. I think Sheigh equally is evaluating this as a straight/gay dichotomy/label issue.
I’d just respectfully encourage you to give this some more thought. It is not “whether they are gay, bi or str8”– let’s drop the labels.
Half the guys on BW are in denial. So your “research” seems to be useless. And replying with more psychobabble bullshit isn’t swaying anyone. You’re just saying things that are meaningless. I’m not saying that any guy who enjoys the look, or pleasure or company of other men have to identify as homosexual. But that doesn’t, by default, make them heterosexual. And “straight guys turned on be penis” most definitely are not heterosexual or heteronormative. Acceptance starts with being honest with yourself. So good luck on your journey of self-acceptance. You have a long way to go.
I have always wrestled with the idea of the obligation of identity where it concerns such a construct as sexual orientation. It must stem from another primal need to belong to a specific tribe. Is there no curiosity as to the fact that the number of “gay men” within the worlds’ population soared massively during the latter half of the 20th century? What was in the Earth’s water supply which created such numerous gay men? Or have all men always been on a spectrum of sexual response/sexual behavior?
All PEOPLE fall on a spectrum of sexuality. This is nothing new. What is changing is society’s understanding and acceptance of the fluidity of sexuality. Homosexuality didn’t just come out of nowhere. Just like pansexuality or asexuality didn’t just come out of no where. There are just terms that exist to describe them now when there didn’t used to be. So I find it incredibly hypocritical of men who have always identified as heterosexual having some kind of sudden sexual awaking, and now when they engage in sexual acts with men they are magically “not into labels”. Claiming you “wrestle with the idea of the obligation of identity” is saying the same thing. It’s internationalized homophobia. Claiming you’re a “straight guy into penises” is just fear and cognitive dissonance.
This isn’t about a need to belong to a tribe. This is about not demonizing people who fall outside the pretend lines of the heteronormative lifestyle. And you and anyone else who claim they don’t like to subscribe to a particular sexual orientation are perpetuating this idea that if you’re not straight or perceived as straight, you don’t belong.
“This isn’t about a need to belong to a tribe. This is about not demonizing people who fall outside the pretend lines of the heteronormative lifestyle. And you and anyone else who claim they don’t like to subscribe to a particular sexual orientation are perpetuating this idea that if you’re not straight or perceived as straight, you don’t belong.”
This ^^^^^^
Almost one year later, the comments I keep seeing on a certain premier male masturbation website certainly seem to be suggesting exactly this!! If a person does not identify as “str8” or seem (or look or act) straight enough, they are frequently excluded–whether overtly or covertly–from the others’ reindeer games.
As a straight edger, I really dont need to see a guy cum. If I can watch a guy edge his cock for a long period of time, I know from personal experience the extreme pleasure he is receiving – whether or not he is edging himself – or if someone is edging him. Speaking for myself, [and I believe most edgers] the goal is NOT in cumming – but in NOT cumming. For me, the goal is now to keep going – for as long as possible, staying at or near the edge of orgasm – and the orgasm itself [at least for me] marks the end of that “session”
By edging i learned to have multiple orgasms,3 inside a minute. Hips shaking by the intense 3rd.
Love this topic!
great! looking forward to the gay entry in this column
I’ve thought about this ‘str8 guys into buddy stroking’ mindset a good bit. I’ve always considered myself basically straight, but have had four stroke buds over the years, the first being my freshman college roommate, Derek. It started slowly, giving each other massages after extra-strenuous workouts (he had a half ride in track; me ,tennis). One thing slowly led to another: we gradually ended up in our dorm bunks only in our boxers or briefs, but then after a couple of weeks switched to towels (“like at the gym”, y’know?). Problem was, the towels kept coming undone. We’d tie em back, but then they’d come loose again. Finally (if the dorm had quieted down and nobody was knocking on our door) we just said “fuck it” and continued with the back rubs, but both of us now buck-assed naked, lol.
Neither of us really knew where this was going, but it was really pretty exciting, what with the trust and intimacy we were showing each other.
Maybe I should add here that we ended up being best friends, having each other’s backs in our hectic, fraternity-flavored college life, finally acting as best men in each other’s weddings (he tied the knot after our sophomore year). I don’t think our messing around had much to do with the closeness of our friendship (perhaps somewhat the contrary), but I could be mistaken about that.
Here’s the thing, at least in our minds: nobody was going to fall in love with anybody, we weren’t gonna ‘set up house’, yada, yada, so it didn’t feel ‘gay’, in that aspect. We both had steady girlfriends, eventually fiancés, which was our primary sexual outlet. It was just two horny 18-20 year olds, thrown into the intimacy of leaving home and sharing a dorm room and kinda intrigued with the whole male/male jock buddy thing. Maybe nowadays you’d call it a ‘bromance’.
Later I’ve come to more of an understanding why the JO buddy thing seems to appeal primarily to bi or str8 guys, men who are also into the ladies: in addition to what I’ve said above, there’s a distinct difference between ‘making love’ and getting naked and playing with a buddy’s cock. With the former, there’s a lot going on, but in mutual bud stroking, you have to be able to trust each other enough to let the other guy see the thing we almost invariably do in utmost privacy — jacking our cocks.
That trust, if it’s handled right, ends up with an awesome sense of male intimacy and bonding, but with a fairly structured set of rules. I’m not saying some stroke buddies never move on into oral or even more, but that’s their choice — and it probably doesn’t affect their heterosexual relationships overly much.
Ok, here’s your chance to beat me up or flame me, but I’d like to hear what some of you other guys say, especially if you recognize yourself any above.
Well as the author of the article I certainly agree. Well written, even erotic piece on this important topic. Thanks for adding your voice, and for lending your friend a hand
David,
I’ve considered myself Bi for as long as I recall. When I was 13 bestfriend slept over. Not much sleep that night. I like sucking cock just as I enjoy eating pussy. I’ve had as many as 6 friends @ one time who were more than jack off buds. So that’s my opinion. Good Luck & Happy Jerking.
Everything that you covered in your several paragraphs is what I have done all my life. Although I can’t personally state that I wouldn’t caress a man like I do a woman, I love watching cum shots and sucking on a stiff cock. I’m happy to have found this blog as it opens me up to know that I’m not the only guy that feels this way. The women that I have known accept this quality as it adds a little spark of fun and excitement. All I have to say is “Can’t we all getalomg?” Some guys “protest” too much. This quality has been going on since before the Romans first recorded it. That society was accepting to all variances and considered ot mostly natural.
Agree not to get too hung up on labels. I have never had sex with or masturbated with another guy but I do like watching porn with guys pumping their hard cocks and shooting cum because that’s what I do, I pump my cock and shoot off. For me as a solo masturbator I choose to watch porn that depicts masturbation as I find solo sex to be the most erotic form of sex to get off to. I’ve watched thousands of videos of gals and guys getting themselves off.
I’m a straight solo masturbator and I like looking at penises. I prefer uncircumcised penises with frenulotomy, meatotomy and shaved. I am also very interested in sounding and stretching the urethra. I am not interested in homosexual practices and physical contact. The nicest thing about an old masturbator is why the penis. The penis becomes more and more beautiful through frequent masturbation.