I was 18 and comparing dicks with a buddy on my cross country team. We chat about porn, compare sizes and bust a nut together in the locker room urinals before practice. Just two endlessly horny high schoolers jerking off. Pretty standard. He’s now happily married to a woman and we still keep in touch. Masturbation has no orientation.
I’m 22 years old in college, meeting up with a 26 year old medical student who posted about needing to relieve stress during studying. We stroke side by side in his apartment on the downtown campus, straight porn on the screen, ending with a side by side shooting contest that ends in a friendly draw. “See ya,” we both say casually and part ways. Masturbation has no orientation.
I’m 24 years old meeting a married guy my age at his house. We chat, put on some porn, stroke to gay porn, frot our greasy erections and even make out a little. “That was fun man, thanks for coming over while my wife is out of town,” he says. No questions asked. Masturbation has no orientation.
I’m 26 years old, meeting a guy from Grindr after we both identify ourselves as masturbators in a sea of tops and bottoms. We sit side by side on my bed, frying our brains with poppers and gay porn until we both shoot copious amounts of sperm all over ourselves. We lay back exhausted and happy, glistening in sweat. Masturbation has no orientation.
While the label-loving world we live in likes to think that masturbation has an orientation, the common denominator in all of my mutual masturbation experiences has been manhood. Brotherly bonding. Kinship. Mutual understanding. Primal power. Phallic admiration. Never sexual orientation.
That’s not to say that sexual orientation doesn’t exist or doesn’t deserve to be respected and acknowledged. How people choose to identify should always be validated. Rather, it’s to say that orientation is not something that men must be concerned with when pursuing mutual masturbation as a sexual activity. For me, bating is an outlet for men of all backgrounds to experience a bond, a kinship and a shared mutual experience that only men (gay, straight, trans, bisexual, nonconforming, queer, anything) can truly appreciate). Regardless of orientation, the power of the bate stands on its own.
On the most primal level, bating with a buddy is just that – masturbating your penis with another man who also has a penis. External factors and identifiers melt away in the face of this penis pleasure. If more men could see this, I think most bators would agree the world would be a better place!
By Bateworld member Titan393
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It’s really apparent that this “no labels” article was written by somebody who loves dick, especially other men’s dicks, and DESPERATELY doesn’t want to admit he’s gay, Buddy, we see right through you, and I, for one, am a little annoyed by it.
Um, I do love dick. I would hope that would be apparent in the article. Did you miss the part where I mention using Grindr, a gay hookup app? There’s nothing wrong with being closeted, but Buddy, I am not.
I’ve masturbated with some of the most macho str8ts, transgender, lesbians, and a couple thousand queers. People just like to get off, man.
someone doesn’t get the idea of the article.
So true, and beautifully said.
Let’s just add a coda to all of these scenarios:
“The police burst in and arrest us both for gross indecency” (or whatever the offence was called in the US).
It took some brave people who HAD to insist that sexual orientation was relevant in these situations in order that these scenes no longer end with psychiatric hospitalisation or imprisonment. I’m grateful for the original blog post for acknowledging that sexual orientation exists and deserves respect. I’m largely in agreement that, when it comes to our sexual behaviour (including full on m/m, xxxing), we don’t need to slap labels on ourselves but our enemies don’t see things that way and, particularly in the present political climate, we wallow in a ‘no labels, bro’ Utopia at our peril.
I agree that sexual orientation exists. The problem for some, however, is that it is not so simple that if falls into three categories (homo, bi, and hetero). For many people, orientation is more varied and fluid. I find it unfortunate that some people desperately want to force everyone else to classify themselves into the categories they define. I would think in these difficult times in our society folks that, themselves, don’t fit neatly into a societal category would be less rigid and judgmental in their own thinking.
Great read. Was married to a beautiful woman, now to a beautiful man. Identify as gay, but quickly embracing solo. Fluid. I like sex. I love my cock. Learning…