Toxic Masculinity Part II: The Man Box
So, what does toxic masculinity look like?
Last month I started this series off with Part I discussing what Toxic Masculinity is and will continue in Part II below to talk about what it looks like.
In Ted Porter’s 2010 TEDWomen talk he describes toxic masculinity as being a box that we try to force men to fit inside. This Man Box, a term from Paul Kivel and the Oakland Men’s Project, contains a set of Do’s and Don’ts that men are expected to conform to. The 2017 Man Box Report (links below) was a study focused on young men aged 18-30 in the UK, USA, and Mexico, and grouped the contents of the man box into seven categories. Some quick examples:
Self Sufficient
Men shouldn’t have to ask for help, men shouldn’t talk about their feelings, men are expected to succeed.
Acting Tough
Men should not seem weak, men do not show emotions other than anger, men must be seen as powerful at all times.
Physical Attractiveness
Men should be good looking, men should not be worried about their appearances
Rigid Masculine Gender Roles
Men should not partake in “women’s” activities: Cleaning, cooking, self-care, care-giving, men should be the breadwinner, man is the protector
Heterosexuality and Homophobia
Men only have sex with women, men dominate women, men shouldn’t interact with other men sexually, men cannot be “like a woman” or “look gay”
Hypersexuality
Men should always want sex, be ready for sex, and be knowledgeable about sex
Aggression and Control
Men should use violence to assert themselves, Men make decisions, violence is how you express emotion
These ideas are often interconnected and contradictory. The Man Box Report notes that men feel the pressure to appear physically attractive but are also told not to appear fussy or invested in their appearance, that’s too feminine. A man is supposed to be hypersexual, but that sexuality is constrained to a narrow view of heterosexuality where men only compete to dominate women. If a man isn’t always looking to conquer a woman, or if they enjoy masturbating, then their masculinity can be called into question. Any perception of deviance can be used to take manhood away.
The Man Box produces a mix of aggression and a fear that lends itself to forming hierarchies where, in order to feel secure in their own manhood, men will police one another in order to establish or maintain this hierarchy. Because they are told to only express violence, they learn to strike downwards, either to raise themselves up or preserve their own manhood.
This bullying, both on the physical, verbal, and psychological levels, is a form of violence that men use against each other as part of their daily interactions. This violence is also used against other ‘not men’ in order to establish themselves as men in the eyes of others. This masculinity is exclusive and transitory, something you can be taken.
In the english speaking world there is also a presumption of being white and christian. As Keith Edwards notes men are emasculated by skin colour, culture, and religion. This privileges a class of men as automatically better men, the same class who have a history of violence dominated other groups of people. As Tyler A. Shipley discusses in his Canada in the World, settler men were encouraged to be aggressive and dominating in their dealings with colonized peoples. The continued presence of the Christian God and bible in key government functions, in addition to continued anti-Semitism and Islamophobia indicates Christianity’s privileged place.
As a note: It is conspicuous that the Man Box Report, while mentioning that two trans-men took part in the US portion, is otherwise silent on topics related to how toxic masculinity affects trans-men, reflecting a wider pattern of excluding trans-men from discussions of masculinity.
The Man Box excludes many men; not just trans, BIPOC, or Gay man, but also any straight men who do not conform to its ideals. Being a man is not something that can be bestowed or taken away, it is something that is unique and inherent in our persons. As there are a multitude of different kinds of men, so too are there a multitude of different masculinities. When we stop looking to put each other down and out-compete each other, then will we be able to truly help each other grow as a brotherhood.
Till next time brothers,
Next Month; How Does This Affect My Bate?
Written by Bateworld Member SatyrBatorBro
Twitter: @Dextergrey8
Go here for Part I: What Is Toxic Maculinity?
Further Reading:
The Man Box: A Study on Being a Young Man in the US, UK, and Mexico – Promundo Global
Man in a Box – The Traditional Definition of Masculinity – Keith Edwards
The Man Box: The Link Between Emotional Suppression and Male Violence – The Good Men Project
Paul Kivel “Act Like A Man Box” – Paul Kivel PDF
