What does it mean to me to be a bator? And what changed for me?
I stumbled across BateWorld for the first time in 2014. I’m not sure exactly how I found it, but I’m sure I was doing some one-handed internet surfing.
I created a profile, looked at a bunch of naked dudes, then moved on and left my blank profile sitting there collecting virtual dust. I didn’t “get it.” A few years later, I became a daily user of the site and I now consider myself a dedicated bator.
What does it mean to me to be a bator? And what changed for me? Today I‘m going to write about one realization that helped me discover my best sex with myself.
“Masturbation Is Sex”
It has been said time and time again and even right here on the blog from BateWorld member TylerTheBadwolf, that Masturbation Is Sex, Duh!
Many of us are brought up to believe that masturbation is healthy, but also that it’s something we do to quell a need that is not being met by sex with a partner. A quick jerk of the morning wood before work will help us focus on our day ahead, and beating our meat before bed will help us sleep. But we are generally taught to believe that solo sex is not in fact sex, but a weak substitute for the real thing.
In my 40s, I found myself in a new situation where I was alone a lot in the evenings, a situation I’d not had in my life ever before. As I would strip down before bed and start stroking, I found I was gravitating more and more to solo porn, particularly solo porn filmed by amateurs. I didn’t want to see muscled Adonises fucking, making me feel that my masturbation was “less than” and maybe even slightly pathetic. I wanted to see men who were doing exactly what I was doing, namely having so much fun cranking their boners that they wanted to share it with the world.
BateWorld
Eventually this brought me back to BateWorld where I could see endless content of regular guys like myself deep into their own self-pleasure. And some of these guys were not just masturbating, they were showing me things I’d never considered. I had never dived into buddy bates, verbal bates, cum denial, cock rings and ball stretchers, milking, edging, jackoff clubs!
Here were guys who not only loved to masturbate but who lived for it, guys who were proud of the fact that they often masturbated for hours and hours and who answered my messages and encouraged me when I told them how they fueled me.
That Night
The night that something clicked for me was the first time I masturbated for a full three hours, finally letting myself orgasm after being deeper into my bate than I’d ever been. Instead of feeling shame that I’d just wasted time that could have been used doing something “productive,” I felt like I’d just had some of the best sex of my life. I was spent. I was relaxed. And I had a huge smile on my face.
Instead of feeling shame that I’d just wasted time that could have been used doing something “productive,” I felt like I’d just had some of the best sex of my life.
In the way that I would have planned a romantic evening with a partner, I’d done that for myself. Before I’d started, I’d put out everything I might want within arm’s reach—lube, cocktail, any toy I might want along the way (butt plug and cock ring for me). I’d chosen my porn beforehand, and I’d dimmed the lights. I’d set aside a long stretch of time, so there was no rush. It was a seduction, and the target was my cock.
The Next Day
The next night I had dinner with a close friend, and I told him all about it. I told him about all of the guys I’d met on BateWorld, showed him the site, played him a few of my favorite videos, and let him know how I’d been on my dick for several hours the night before and it was the some of the most fun I’d had in recent memory. Interested but slightly skeptical, he created a profile, poked around, and now it’s sitting there blank because he didn’t quite “get it.” I’m hopeful he’ll come back to it just like I did and realize that masturbation is sex. And not only is it sex, but it can be mind-blowing sex.
Getting over this stigma is a huge mental hurdle. But trust me. If you can let yourself go, you’re opening yourself up to some of the best pleasure that is available to you whenever and however you want it.
Let’s bate, bros!
Check out further readings by Digg right here on the blog
I agree with most of what you’ve written. I wouldn’t turn down nor shun other forms of sex but for me masurbation is the best sexI I’ve ever had. I’d rather masturbate than fuck. When I know I’ll be alone for a long time, such as when my wife will be going out of town, I too carefully plan the total seduction of my cock or rather submit to be seduced by my cock. I consider the anticipation of such a day/night as foreplay. Bate on, brothers.
I’m very much the same as you. Working from home has afforded me the opportunity to be alone as my wife has had to go into her office. I’ve had a great time masturbating by myself. I don’t know what I’m going to do when I have to return to the office!
Same here, I wouldn’t turn down other forms of sex, with a gal. But I discovered many years ago that sex with myself was the best way. And I was much better at masturbating than fucking. Just wish I was more confident & comfortable sharing with gal friends my passion for masturbation so that maybe we could have masturbated together.
This was a great article which so resonates with me. It’s only very recently I’ve discovered that I actually prefer sex with myself than with anyone else, I thoroughly enjoy watching guys pleasuring themselves, really getting into their masturbation, huffing poppers and just losing themselves without harm nor injury to anyone. Like you I prefer to watch guys on bateworld masturbating than conventional porn, there’s something of a brotherhood on bateworld I haven’t seen anywhere else, no judgement of age, bodysize or size of cock. As a Brit there are so many cut cocks, relatively uncommon in the UK, which I love. I’m keen to get the hang of Zoom and Skype so I can masturbate with guys around the world and enjoy their bate as they can mine.
Hey William,
I too enjoy jacking off. Maybe we can connect one of these days via whatup or any other format.
You can contact me at [email protected]
Thanks,
J.
Awesome read and keep on bating it really pays off!
Wow — I thought I was alone in these thoughts….Glad I found this page. Loved reading everything
I relate so much to those happy smiles on your face that you mention. My prettiest smiles come from holding my hard cock and being close to ejaculation for hours. I once had a picture of my best smile as Facebook profile picture which was taken while edging! It’s pure bliss.
No doubt ‘The best sex is by oneself.
My awesome, wonderful, mind blowing [there are not enough adjectives to describe it] all consuming addiction to bator-ing and gooning knows no bounds. Have had my share of female sex partners in my life but I love bator-ing more then anything, nothing else comes close for me.
My addiction to masturbation goes back decades to when I had my first orgasm at 14.
Goon-ing has become my passion the past 5 years or so.
When I’m spending hours on end bringing myself to the edge, dozens of times, I feel and believe that I’m playing a finely tuned instrument, that what I’m engaged in is artistry.
I am able to keep myself, depending on my mood and needs at a particular time, at a level of excitement [as measured 1 to 5] for as long as I desire.
The many years of practice have fine tuned my penis to what needs to be done [hard touch, soft touch. fast slow, massaging or stroking a particular area of my penis, and scrotum] at a given moment.
This passion to self pleasure dominates my thoughts, even when other aspects of life intrude. My penis never lets me forget it is there and screaming for attention.
It does not take much for me to be off to the races. Seeing my shaved cock and balls trussed up with a thin strap loop is more then enough to start me up to enjoy many hours of bliss.
I enjoy keeping statistics [adds to the enjoyment] such as, not missing a day of masturbation in a few years, hours spent in a day, how long in a given week, a month, a year. Gee, maybe I’m into trying to set new records, ya think.