Shame, even as I type the term it makes me feel a certain type of embarrassment, repulsion, and judgement.
Shame and masturbation have somewhat of a correlation to one another. At the heat of the moment many bators are horny and masturbate, but after their session they fall into a downward spiral of shame, embarrassment and just finishing something that has been stigmatized as being a sin.
Why is this emotion always looming over one’s shoulder after they just had the best orgasm ever? Why would a bator commit to an act of self pleasure knowing how they are going to feel after they climax? There are many social situations to take into account.
Religious beliefs play a big role in feeling that you let yourself down because religion dictates that masturbation is a sin. Another big influence is family and friends. If you grew up in a strict household masturbarion is frowned upon. Friends might make fun of you if they ever catch you in the act even though behind closed doors they themselves indulge in masturbation and feel shameful just as many others.
What needs to be done to break this vicious cycle? One thing that helps is talking about masturbation as a positive act (Bateworld.com is the perfect community for this) and educating the general public of the ways it has many health benefits. Once a group rises up and speaks about a topic that may be uncomfortable it raises awareness and this leads to acceptance. Just like when pornography came out it was always kept behind close doors, advocates of the porn industry spoke about it publicly, it took time but it was accepted to some degree.
Self Love is the ultimate love so why be ashamed of loving yourself? When you shed the shame of masturbating and learn to love yourself and please yourself it’s a great start to opening up and truly loving others. To love others you have to love yourself and you should never be embarrassed of that.
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Such an interesting topic and something we’ve all dealt with as masturbators. Being able to give ourselves such amazing & beautiful pleasure(s) by masturbating. And then right we orgasm, and all those amazing, pleasurable sensations fade away and then we get the “guiltys” or feelings of embarrassment afterwards.
There were countless times I told myself I’m never doing THAT again. But by the next day or so those feelings were replaced by okay just one more time. And I’d be right back at it. Often times tossing my container of lube up into the highest shelf in my closet after I came. Just so it would be abit more difficult to reach and I might reconsider the next time I felt the urges to masturbate again.
Finally at a certain age, perhaps I was in my 40’s that really who cares… And if it feels good! Just do it! Now in my mid-60s I’m still a daily bator. And more proud of it, well in forums like this where its easy to share..
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Tantra has taken away my shame. tantra taught me that our sexuality, our bodies, our desires, and our penises, are all part of who we are, and connect with our physical, emotional, sexual and spiritual worlds. When in an extremely high arousal level, after a long masturbation session, I feel connected with all life, with the universe, with all men and their penises, with pleasure, and with love. I highly recommend semen retention as a way forward to extreme penis bliss!!
My blog deals with all sorts of issues related to men’s bodies, though masturbation continues to be the main focus as I field so many questions from both men and women of all ages and sexual stripes regarding jerking off.
I’ve found through the 9+ years that the more I explain how common it is, the more people open up. The number of fathers I’ve had write to me asking how to broach the subject with their sons is amazing. They all want their kids to understand there’s nothing to be ashamed of. That’s progress.
It saddens me to think that shame is still an issue in 2020