Jason Armstrong Revisits The Beginning Of His Life As A Solosexual

On the cusp of releasing his second book about life as a solosexual, Jason Amstrong takes a trip down memory lane to a post he wrote on The Bator Blog years in 2016.

Once upon a time, I wrote a blog called “Hunting for Sex: Cautionary Tales from the Quest”. As the name suggests, it was all about chasing tail and getting laid. However, one perceptive reader wrote to me, inquiring about how I often wrote about masturbation. He asked if I’d ever heard of a website called BateWorld.com. Did I know what a solosexual was?

What a funny, strange new word: Solosexual. While there seemed to be some disagreement on BateWorld about what exactly constituted a true solosexual, I looked up the word on the Urban Dictionary online and it summed it up nicely: A solosexual was essentially one for whom masturbation is their favored form of sexual outlet.

Could that be true about myself, I wondered? Is that normal? Who coined the term “solosexual”?
And so in 2013 I wrote a blog post about solosexuality, which I forwarded to BateWorld in 2015, who in turn published it on The Bator Blog. Lord have mercy, the comments readers left – there was a huge embrace of the word and concept behind it. I take you back to when I had but a nascent understanding of solosexuality and wrote this:

Between the choice of sex with others and sex with myself, sex with myself often wins out. And this can be a hard concept for many people to wrap their heads around. But one place where men really do understand is on BateWorld.com.

BateWorld.com is a website devoted to male masturbation. The site prohibits pictures or videos of anal or oral sex. The devotees to masturbation on the site have turned jacking off into an art form. We’re not generally talking about the quick wank in the shower before work in the morning. We’re talking about men who bate (masturbate) for hours (“edging”), becoming one with their cocks to the point of “gooning” (that point in the bate where you are so connected to your cock that you are all but babbling and drooling).

The notion of solosexuality is one that is discussed on blogs and polls and forums on the site. It’s as if a variant of gay sexuality has come to light – gay men who get off on men (though straight men populate the site too), but prefer to get off alone, using porn, poppers and whatever other accoutrements they like (or conversely, using tantric practices to heighten the experience). Like in any community that tries to define itself, there is contention about what a true “solosexual” is. Is it someone who never ever has sex with others? Can you define yourself as solosexual if bating is your true sexual passion, though you do bate with others or, furthermore, engage in penetrative sex sometimes too?

When I bate, it’s an event that lasts hours, involving some and sometimes all of the following: Dancing in the mirror in fetish wear to Pearl Jam and Rob Zombie playing on Youtube; smoking; drinking my beloved Jack Daniels; porn (lots!); piss play by myself; playing with loads of cum that I’ve saved all week for the weekend bate; poppers; and so on. What happens is that I reach a transcendental place where my whole body is cock, my whole brain is sex. It’s both joyous and sometimes frightening.

Members on BateWorld.com talk about falling into the “batehole” where you get so into the trance-like nature of the event that you wonder if you’ll be able to come back to the real world. While some bators (masturbators) get to this state of ecstasy while bating with other men in real time or on cam, for now, my preference is to do it alone so that I can fully experience my sensations without worrying about pleasing anybody but myself (how selfish!). I have no intention of giving up sex with others, but with the intensity that my bates provide, is it any wonder that I put bating first in my sexual pecking order?

For about three years after I originally wrote that blog piece, partnered, penetrative sex lost its allure and I identified completely and absolutely as a solosexual. The only things that changed over time was that Godsmack replaced Pearl Jam as my bate music and poppers became illegal in Canada (though we just legalized pot – go figure!)

Fast forward to January, 2016, when I published a book, my first, on the subject, which I called Solosexual: Portrait of a Masturbator. The book went to #1 on Amazon Kindle upon its release. It also released a tidal wave of emails from readers, fan mail telling me I’d help open up a whole new piece of their sexuality. The book sold on every continent except Antarctica as penguins neither read nor jack off (that I know of).

Since then, I’ve become the leader of the group on BateWorld called Chronically Addicted Masturbators, for those of us who don’t ever want to stop. One member wrote me to say that it’s because of me that he’s a bate addict. Full stop. I dared to write back asking if he loved me or hated me for it, as the addictive power of the bate has been an intrinsic part of the discourse around solosexuality from the start.

My second book comes out in August, 2019, and there is, as in my first book, a chapter addressing addiction. But the book is wide ranging. It’s an exploration of the ups and downs of male sexuality, harkening back to my now-defunct blog. No stone is left unturned as I touch upon prostitution and porn, peep shows and PrEP, partnered and penetrative sex – all seen through the eyes of a solosexual. I went to the edge to write the book (and hopefully some of the steamier parts will get you edging). For as Nickelback sings (yes, I love Nickelback, shoot me now), “If you ain’t living on the edge, you’re takin’ up too much space”.

Jason Armstrong’s second book, titled Getting Off: The Unlikely Chronicles of a Solosexual on PrEP is set to be released August, 2019

Stay tuned for an exclusive interview with Jason Armstrong and a brand new excerpt from his new book, right here on TheBatorBlog.com

Join Jason Armstrong (Wildhorse100) and other solosexuals on BateWorld.com