This is a story of magic and self-love discoveries from Bateworld member Beastlybator.
Similar to solosexual authors M. B. Timothy (Saboteur) and Jason Armstrong (Wildhorse100), Beastlybator shares his personal journey to finding himself, the discovery of his solosexuality, and self healing through masturbation.
Urban Dictionary is best known for its humorous definitions, but remains the one place that best defies what being solosexual means in the simplest terms.
Solosexual (from Urban Dictionary)Adjective or noun. One who prefers masturbation over other forms of sex.Gloria Stewart, actress and solosexual said: “I do not need a man. I am devoted to masturbation. I think it’s probably one of the most pleasurable experiences in life. I had and have no guilt whatsoever when it comes to pleasuring myself.“by hotwhispers October 28, 2009
We hope these stories and personal discoveries from our members bring a greater understanding of what it truly means to be a solosexual and how solosexuality has become a sexual orientation of its own.
Magic and Self Love Discoveries
I was 33 years old, living in a tiny room, in a small apartment in the borough of Brooklyn. He traveled to my small, safe haven from Harlem which at the time I thought “Such a long distance to travel for someone like me”. Who was someone like me?
I’d come to New York yearning for a new start and jumped headfirst into everything this vibrant city had to offer. I was on a mission here, to erase anything that had defined me and to destroy expectations that no longer served me. He took my arms, secured them around his body, and as we held each other in a naked embrace he whispered in my ear “Hold your brother. Feels nice huh?”. Not nice, I thought. It was fucking amazing.
I truly believed that a lover, you’re one love, would find you like a silly romantic foreign film. I would imagine myself in different scenes as if someone was writing a script for me that I was more than happy to act out; no questions asked. It was how I had lived most of my life and as you would suspect, I often felt great disappointment and sorrow because the script was not written by my hand. I’d suffered much trauma as a child which played a major role in how I lived and viewed my life throughout my teenage and young adult years. I was not who I said I was and everyone knew it but me.
Living in New York was a dream I had always envisioned for myself and when I successfully graduated from art school, I took the chance and made my escape. New York, I can say now, single handly changed my life. There, I gained new friends, met new lovers, and birthed the beginnings of my Solosexuality. Not without much error, I navigated it’s laboring streets and punishing people looking for what I believe I truly needed; a healing heart.
I scoured through clubs and bars, dabbled in euphoric inducing drugs hoping that these things would open my mind and my heart to someone extraordinary. When in fact, all I needed was myself.
Leaving New York would be a tumultuous time; a failed journey that I was not ready to accept. In the last few months before I sheepishly moved back to Los Angeles a remarkable encounter would change the trajectory of my sex life.
I met a young man at a favorite Chelsea bar that was wearing a shirt with the word “BATOR” written on it. I’d seen this word before as I’ve always been a good masturbator and some preliminary research on the internet had given me some insight. I approached the young man with exhilaration and inquired about his shirt. I got his number and for a few weeks, we exchanged in texts all relating to things about masturbation and sex. We made a plan. He would travel to my apartment in Crown Heights and we would “Bate bond”. I quickly googled what this could be and my inquisitive search pulled pages that lead me to Bateworld.com. What the fuck is this I wondered. Facebook for masturbation?
He was thin and average height but had a toned body frame. His big brown eyes matched the thick brown hair on his head and his smile was warm and inviting. He humbling provided a jar of Albolene and poppers and was all too eager to engage in the most passionate masturbation edging session I had ever experienced. That late afternoon, as the city grew darker and the sounds of busy lives grew into a concrete sympathy, I was bonded with him; we were brothers in masturbation. The sexual male energy surged through our bodies and we comforted each other in a way I had never done with another male. We rested on my small futon bed, our limbs dangling off edges and held each other in a post bate bliss and while we cradled each other warmly, his eyes met mine and blissfully whispered “You’re such a beautiful Bator”.
We hardly spoke again as my departure from New York was rapid, but I remember the final text I received from him as my news of my leaving was shocking.
“Always remember, you have great power in your penis”
This is how I live my life now. I’ve fully committed my life to honor the self-love that has been absent for so many years. My life journey now is to heal myself through masturbation and in turn, help heal others. Bateworld.com has provided me with an important space to share my story and help men harness their unique male powers through masturbation.
Only when I fully committed and honored my Solosexuality, I was able to garner the courage to find my tribe. I decided that living in secrecy would cause more damage than fully exposing myself. Bateworld is such an important platform for Bators all over the world and I look forward to participating in its evolution. Bating is magic and I encourage you to explore the beautiful magic in yourself and others, without shame.
Written by BW member Beastlybator
Are you a solosexual? Feel like you relate to Beastlybator’s story? Share your comments below.
Browse The Bator Blog here for more on solosexuality.
What a evocative depiction of a life-changing encounter! It’s almost as if the boy with BATOR on his shirt was a ‘bate angel’ sent to win you over. Well I am glad for that! For you and for us, I am pleased that you’ve discovered the transformative power of masturbation. Solosexuality is a thoroughly modern incarnation of a primal act of self care. I am excited for your future, as a leader for us all 🤍
Thank you so much for your words and for our conversations. You have been such a mentor To me with your books and your Twitter posts. I hope to spread the love and beauty of masturbation just as you have done. You do so much for the community and Know that we hold you in such high regard. X
I love your and pictures of you! Where can I find more?
What a beautifully written and moving article . Thank you for your honesty , your style
and your charm . Have a wonderful life , you deserve to .
Awesome story of self-exploration! Loved reading it.
Love this! Great to find other solosexuals in-love with themselves and their bating buddies.
Really well written, Brother. Solosexuality set me free and made my like make more sense. Brotherhood through masturbation gave me confidence, self-love (pun intended) and joy. In a sense, it wasn’t about rejecting the lifestyle i had been born into. It was actually about embracing solosexuality. Keep up the journey bro. I’m five years down the track and it only gets better. All the best to you.
I agree BW is a great platform and I always enjoy posts like these that share info/experineces and starts a conversation between bators in the comments. Be sure to listen to beastlybators podcast.
Your story is beautiful, and certainly one that I so understand, appreciate and have lived. Though I certainly identify as solosexual, I am in a long and beautiful relationship with another solosexual. Our life is wonderful together, and our sex is our shared masturbation – some kissing and sucking, but truly centered in masturbation. It is a wonderful life.
I wish you continued happiness and fulfillment in our masturbation journey.
This is a powerfully expressed and resonant story. I’m sure many of us can relate.
Finding you sexual self is now also vital in my life as well such a important story thanks for sharing.
I started having sex as a yng boy. It is just in the last few years I realized I am solosexual. As a yngr man I had lots of sex in lots of places. Slut sex in lots of strange places but when I was done I always wanted to go home and masturbate. Just be alone with my PENIS. Once I discovered the brotherhood in BW i let me full on slolosexual out. Now I know that I am a full narcissistic fag for my own body. I am a masturbator . It is my life now. Addicted to my penis. I do still have sex every now and then but it always winds up with me alone in a mirror ( my favorite placeto be getting prvy with my penis.It is what I really want. My ow sex with my penis.
Discovering the power of penis is so liberating. Good for you for embracing what has always been there…. a beautiful masculine man. Thanks for sharing your beautiful story. May you find great joy in the days ahead.
As a DILF or dad-type or however others may label me, I came late to understanding the full spectrum of masturbation. In the last year or so I have discovered bate clubs in New York and Denver (before COVID), have become a member of Bateword, and have dipped into Vidchat with other guys like a rutting animal. This masturbatory sexual exploration has revealed to me a lot about who I am and who my brothers are. What breathtaking discoveries! Sharing on a deep level with other MEN has opened up a vast world of brotherhood and humanity that is deeply satisfying. Your story is part of this revelation. Thank you for your honesty and brotherly love!
Brother! What a gorgeous testimonial! I wrote a book called Solosexual: Portrait of a Masturbator back in 2016 and I envisioned a canon of writing about solosexuality. Like you, my sexuality was rather born in NYC, and like you, I sadly had to leave NYC, my soul home. It gave me great gifts, it actually birthed my sexuality in a way. In NYC I had become seduced by men and sex but then, years later, I discovered BateWorld and my sexual life changed forever and for the best! You rock man, your story was downright enthralling. With bator love, Jason Armstrong, wildhorse100
Loved this! And helped me to realize I’m NOT the only man still trying to “find” himself, in one way or another. I, too, was amazed to find this website and the almost immediate benefits of sharing my masturbation. I never expected to find “my tribe” either, via computer screen! But here I am, loving any time I’m able to spend with like-minded men, exploring and exposing ourselves to one another. And I’m not just referring to “exposing” as the physical openness many of us love and share, but rather the exposure of my/our emotional, even spiritual openness. That’s been a real gift, for this old guy. This journey, and the brotherhood I’ve discovered here, is truly something to treasure.
Well done! And thanks again for sharing! Chuck
Thanks for sharing your journey brother, you are a beautiful man, love your openness. It took years for me to understand & accept myself, I finally realized no one can love me and please me like I can, once I fell in love with myself I feel I’m never alone or lonely and crave my alone time, the very first step is learning to love yourself, Glad you made that discovery!
Beautifully written bro! Love my experiences of bating in NYC when I visit and so pleased you got such a great one just before leaving. Edge on brother!
Just reading your share, BeastlyBator, and all the replies got me hard again tho’ I’d recycled just awhile ago. And yes, you’re a beautiful man! May we all find love In our selves and take that love out to the world.
I do have a partner so I’m not just solo, however I’ve long said I’m my second-favorite lover. (And maybe I say that so he doesn’t get jealous. Shhhh…)
Gentlemen: Enjoy!
Just heard your podcast and can’t thank you enough for having the courage to embrace who you are! Some of us just knew from early on when we experienced masturbation that it was far more meaningful for us than the typical guy. I always knew and love the validation of my long cherished lifestyle preference. I now freely identify and embrace my solosexual lifestyle.
After reading your post, I feel the need to share my own solo sexual evolution. While at a college party many years ago, the ladies were passing around a Cosmo magazine with an article instructing men on how to achieve multiple orgasms. The article explained male kegels as using the muscles used while putting a towel over your erect junk and then lifting it. I memorized the article and Iearned how to masturbate with one long continuous kegel, resulting in extremely intense orgasms with ejaculations that reached well over my head (and mouth, and eyes. and hair, etc.). At the age of 31, I had my first multiple orgasm, although it was more like one long orgasm instead of separate orgasms. I’ve had many, many 30–minute orgasms where I’ve ejaculated 5 times (truly mind-blowing where I’ve passed out from cock pleasure). Nobody, and I mean nobody, can get me off the way I can.
If there was a partner involved, there was usually a rush to get off which went against everything I knew about sexual pleasure. Therefore, after many years, I decided a partner was what was inhibiting my true sexual pleasure, not my skills in achieving and love for mind-blowing cock pleasure.
The power in my cock is an amazing gift, and only I know how to harness that power to its full potential. Anybody else in the picture would just slow things down (unless they’re watching 🙂 )
Reading your story was, for me, one of those OMG moments and it brought tears to my eyes. Not because I have trouble being a solosexual masturbator – far from it in fact. There was, and indeed is, the sheer delight and joy in acknowledging that this is who I am and where I want to be. Things happen in life when they are supposed to happen, so although I long ago accepted that I far preferred masturbation to any other form of sexual pleasure it took a considerable time before I thought of myself as a masturbator, ten or twelve years ago in fact, when I discovered Bateworld and then came the word – Solosexual. And gradually after than this realisation has enveloped me and thank goodness it has. I never had a problem being gay, there was no struggle and angst that some guys have to endure. I was happy but now I’m even happier, more relaxed and full of the joy of being solosexual. How very lucky I have been, totally blessed and that is why reading your story had the effect on me that it did. We all get to where we are meant to be by various routes, your journey was different from mine but I am pleased, no, delighted, that we have arrived in the same place – even if thousands of miles apart.
Great story. I am a solosexual masturbator and I just love my life. Just as there are countless varieties in gay or straight people and other orientations so there are with us solosexuals. I am totally into masturbation and always have been. I fantasize about masturbation and masturbate to porn showing masturbation. Other types of sex don’t really interest me except in passing…I love my body the pleasure it gives me and I don’t even worry about this anymore. All my sexual needs are satisfied through the magic touch of my hands and my toys….I do not have a need to “Bate” with other masturbators (though fantasizing about doing so is definitely safe territory for me!). To all solosexuals out there…I hope we can all “come out” as the other sexual orientations have and be accepted. Masturbation has long been looked down as inferior for far too long. I believe there are millions of us who know otherwise! Enjoy!
Doug, I too am a solosexual bator and have been my entire life! I love my body and work too keep it thin and sexy for myself. I am a chronic mastorbator and could only hope to become more chronic!
Would love to discuss our love affairs with ourselves sometime! I can’t keep my hand off my penis! I am on Wickr as adamspaul2000. Email is [email protected]