How To Host A Circle Jerk That Be Bussin’

Does this sound like you? After another long day of work you come home, look across your empty living room and just wish every square foot of it was occupied with naked men pumping away at their dicks? Do you ever wish your bedroom didn’t just smell like your sweaty underwear but instead the musky groins of 5–10 guys and hung around in the air for days? And not to forget, of course, the bonding and connecting made. If you fit that description, then you were born to host a circle jerk! 

What’s that you ask? How do I even get a circle jerk started? Well your good old buddy Frotologist has got your back. Here is my handy-dandy list of things to do to host a bussin’ circle jerk—and have jealous bators banging on your door with their dicks just to be invited.

But First—My Podcast Thingy! 

This week I spoke with Alex, the co-owner of Bator Balm about his experience hosting circle jerks, and we spin off into topics such as body positivity and dudes who can cum twice at a circle jerk. Please give it a listen 🙂 

Location! Location! Lube and Batin’!

The first thing you gotta figure out is where to have it. This is a no-brainer for most of us (home, right?), but for some hosting a circle jerk is the equivalent of throwing a keg party in high school when the parents are out of town—You want to show your friends a good time while assuring them you won’t get them grounded. Privacy is key here. If you live with people, make sure nobody is home (unless they are invited or just super cool).

Make sure whatever room you do it in has ABSOLUTE ZERO VISIBILITY from the outside world. You don’t want your circle jerk to be the main topic at the next neighborhood watch meeting. Or maybe you do, if that’s your kink. You might want to make sure the room you host in is pretty soundproof too. An inconvenient truth is that the sound of porn is unmistakable and it carries fast and far.

I already wrote a whole article that’s chock full of ideas for what your circle jerk room could look like, so skip on over there for some more ideas: Designing Your Bate Cave/Space

What’s that you say? Your home is not an option and your dream of hosting a perfect circle jerk will never come to fruition? Don’t just lay down and die, bator. You’re not thinking far enough outside the box. Ask around. Now is not the time to be shy. This is the wettest of your wet dreams we’re talking about! 

Find out the word on the street, if there are any nearby places you can rent for a reasonable fee and no questions asked. Many of the jack off clubs in big cities take place at gay bars. So if you’re really serious, cozy up to the owners of your local LGBTQ+ watering holes and ask if they have rental rates and are willing to block the windows for your private party that is literally a party for you and your friends’ privates. 

Furthermore, if you live near a big city, a quick Google search will bring up venues that look the other way for whatever kind of party you want to host. The other kink communities do this all the time. If 100 furries can hold an orgy at your nearby Hampton Inn, then nothing is stopping you from having your circle jerk there, continental breakfast included.

Filling Out Your Circle Jerk Roster

If your vibe is whatever’s clever then by all means unlock your door and wait for any boner to pop in and say hello. However, most sex parties are invite-only. This is because the prospective guests—who really want to cum—are trusting that the hosts did the legwork of vetting each and every invitee. That’s you now, brother. You gotta make sure not to invite any douchebags to your circle jerk. (Here’s a simple way to remember that: Douches have no place at a jack-off party!)

When selecting the players for your naked stickball team, there are three key things to keep in mind:

1. Compatibility
2. Enthusiasm
3. Discretion

Compatibility

Nothing will turn people away from your circle jerk faster than the words: “Jocks Only.” In order to host a successful party of any kind you have to be aware that not everybody has the same tastes as you. Going back to my keg party metaphor, if all you have to offer your guests is beer, then the chicks are going to go to a different party across town where the host was smart enough to spring for wine coolers, and the dudes are going to ditch you to go where the chicks are. Then you’re left with a full keg of beer by your sad lonely self. 

Always try to have something for everyone. So when you are putting together your circle jerk guest list, you should aim to invite a range of body types, races, ages, etc. 

Enthusiasm

Every party needs a party animal. You need that dude who’s gonna get people pumped. Maybe this is you. Maybe this is a couple bros who already bate with each other on the reg and want to show off their gooning skills. The more enthusiastic your guests are, the more likely they are to keep coming back—and bringing their friends. Something I’m going to keep coming back to is the importance of finding ways to make your circle jerk stand out. Don’t just say it’s a joyful celebration of penis brotherhood; Be a joyful celebration of penis brotherhood! 

Discretion

I feel like this is becoming less and less of an issue in today’s world. There are way worse things to be exposed for than someone who indulges in group masturbation. Hopefully in the not-too-distant future we can all wear our batorhood as a badge of pride. Give me a cute tank top with bold text saying YOU WISH YOU WERE INVITED TO MY CIRCLE JERKS! But I digress… 

Discretion is the trickiest entry on this list. Cuz you gotta go with your gut about who’s going to keep the circle jerk members’ names out of his goddamn mouth. My rule of thumb has always been I don’t invite anyone to a group thing unless I’ve hooked up with them 1-on-1 and they didn’t go running their mouths about me.

Some guys will insist on seeing the whole guest list before they RSVP “Yes.” You can request faceless pics from your guests and spend a long time being the go-between sending the pics all around and getting everyone’s approval for everyone else. Honestly, more often than not that leads to a lot of “No’s,” and now you’ve wasted your valuable time. 

Try this: Tell your prospective guests that in the spirit of a circle jerk, just show up and hang out for the JO icebreaking. Then at a set time you can tell everyone it’s time to either beat off or beat it. (Meaning, leave. Just so we’re clear. All these innuendos!)  

A Note on Rules: So I don’t take up the remainder of this article going on about what’s acceptable and not acceptable at a circle jerk, I will refer you to the NY Jacks “About Us” page. Scroll down to the subheader: “A reminder about our rules.” That institute has been going since 1980, so if anyone knows how to run a circle jerk, it’s them. Also, if your circle jerks take off, you might want to contact them and become part of their network 🙂 

Where to Find Bators

If you are reading this then it’s likely that you are already a member of BateWorld. If you are not, but circle jerks interest you, then join BateWorld for FREE! Joining BateWorld puts you in touch with other masturbation and circle jerk enthusiasts. You can chat with guys who talk like me! Hell, you might even talk to me! (If you’re lucky 😉 While you can use filters on apps like Grindr and Scruff to find bators, on Bateworld everyone is here for the same reason: Bating! Whether that be solo, mutual, webcam, or circle jerks. 

Once you join BateWorld, go to the Community Tab, where you will find links for Groups and Events. Search through both of these features to find out about circle jerks and bate parties happening near you, or you can create your own! This will save you all the messy work you would have had to do using any other M4M website or app. A huge perk here, too, is once you have created a group and/or event, the other members can see and interact with each other on BateWorld. So a ton of the work is already done for you.

After you’ve got a group and/or event set up for your circle jerk, then it’s basic SEO: Update, update, update! Don’t just think about the first circle jerk, think about the next one, and the one after that. Post pics (consensual and non-identifying, obv), write a post describing what happened, and ask participants to write up their own renditions of your circle jerk.

If you don’t have consent for pics from your guests, then take before-pics of the room when it was set up and after-pics of when it looks like a hurricane made of lube, sweat, and cum tore through the place. Mention when your next meetup is being held. Think about all the guys who didn’t come to the first one because they wanted to wait for the feedback. 

Let the Bate Games Begin!

In the spirit of the 2024 Summer Olympics, the Frotology Lab has compiled this list of games that can be played at any given circle jerk. Get those batons ready, boys!

• Underwear Swap: Before anybody starts masturbating, have everyone undress. Throw all your underwear in a pile and take turns picking a pair that’s not theirs to wear. Model them for each other and then everyone gets hard wearing another man’s undies. Everybody gets their underwear back at the end and that’s a free party favor because they already own them!
• Icebreakers: Some circle jerk hosts provide alcohol and/or weed (only where it’s legal, duh). The idea is to loosen those nerves up, but make sure nobody overindulges. I suggest framing it around a sporting event. Golf and baseball especially lend themselves to a circle jerk because they don’t require one’s full attention. Then have other screens in the room playing porn and every man can bate at his own pace. Or kill two birds with one stone by only watching some college wrestling or mixed martial arts. 
• Video Games: Pick a game that’s competitive but also fun (Smash Bros, Mortal Kombat, etc.) and either do a strip-poker version until everyone is naked, or you can do a dare version, where whoever wins a round gets to dare the someone else to do stuff. You can always be way less structured and just take turns playing a video game and whoever’s not playing is in a different part of the room playing with their own joysticks. Isn’t that how circle jerks get started IRL anyway?
• Shooting Contest: Lay out a towel (beach towel or bath blanket), either on a table that’s groin-height for everybody or on the floor. Get some measuring tape. Announce the results on BateWorld!
• Target Practice: Hang a target on the wall and when everyone cums have them shoot their load on the target. Hell, post that pic on my BateWorld profile.
• Soggy Biscuit: We all know this one from urban legend, so why not give it a shot? The gist is you put out a slice of bread or any food item and everyone cums on it. Per the legend, the last one to cum has to eat it. But I say be fair and have everyone take a bite. This actually makes the circle jerk into more of a bonding ritual. Just don’t start chanting. That’s too weird.

Other Tips

• Mirrors are essential! Some guys aren’t going to be keen on photoshoots at the circle jerk. In that case, you can still get a visual thrill by occasionally checking out the action in a big ass mirror.  
• Have plenty of lube. Stroking another man’s cock without lube doesn’t always work out so great. Also, don’t cheap out. It’s a circle jerk, break out the good stuff! 
• Offer everyone the chance to shower. Even better, take them together!
• Definitely cover anything you don’t want ruined. Throw some old bedsheets over the seats and across the carpet to soak up all that lube, spilled poppers, and of course jolly good old cum. 

All right bators, ya boy Frotologist could keep going on about the time-honored tradition of jerking off in a circle but I’m about out of space. You better be leaving me comments with more ideas of how to make a circle jerk be extra bussin’. 

Happy Bating!

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