Navigating BateWorld and making those bate connections (on or off the site)

The number one question I continue to hear from guys is “how do I find a bate buddy?”. If that’s you, then this article has been written just for you. Or if you have found bate buddies in the past and still would like some help, then this article is also for you.

I will be using BateWorld as the way in which you can find them, but most of the techniques can apply to many different social networks and platforms. BateWorld is, in my opinion, the best concentration of people interested in pure (but just to be clear, not just) bating on the internet,  so definitely make use of that to find your next bate buddy.

In my experience, most men who express a desire for a bate buddy are really looking for a connection with another man. What that connection is could range from a simple hookup right to a deep enduring friendship. Being clear about what kind of buddy or relationship you are looking for should help narrow down which men are available. Once you are clear with what kind of man you are looking for you are going to start putting yourself out there and the next section will prepare you for that.

“Being clear about what kind of buddy or relationship you are looking for should help narrow down which men are available.”

Setting Up Your Profile

Let’s start with your profile. Since we are talking about finding a bate buddy in this article, the most important information on your profile is your location, so make sure you put your location on your profile. I also find myself putting more trust in a profile which includes other personal details, such as age, stats etc. While not necessary, the more open and honest you are in your profile the more trust you are building with the person looking at your profile.

The next most important part of your profile is the pictures you choose. Let’s be honest, we are visual creatures and that means we are attracted to pictures. We are also bators and so what we are most interested in is your dick. We want to play with your dick. So please include a couple of clear closeups of your dick and try both erect and soft versions. After a dick pic we want to see you. Your body, your face, as much as you are willing to show.

Whether you show face or not is an entirely personal preference. You can try showing some face, or maybe show your face separate to your nudes. Or if you’re feeling brave your entire body naked. Whatever you choose, be prepared for some people to request face pics if you don’t show them. It’s a very natural request to want to see the face of someone before deciding whether you want to meet up with someone so don’t be offended and have some simple face pics ready to share.

Once you have decided on your pictures then the next part is working on a blurb about you. This again should reflect as much about who you are as possible. It can include links to other social media or other projects as well. Remember this is the first impression someone is going to get of you so show your personality in this. The good thing about BateWorld is that the “About Me” section can be quite long and you can have paragraphs. So go ahead and write a mini novel about your life and what you are looking for. 

If you are a premium BateWorld member, you also have the ability to upload an intro video. You should definitely post a video of yourself bating if you are willing to pay for membership. What better way to show off to a potential bate buddy then you enjoying yourself? I myself love watching my potential buddies jerking off and cumming!

Messaging Guys

Once you have your profile all set up how do you actually make connections? This one might take a little bit of practice and will be dependent on the men you are interacting with. My advice is always start small, get used to the place in which you find yourself and then start talking to people.  

But how do you decide on who to reach out to?

To start with you can use the members search to find people who are either close to your location and/or share similar interests. Once you find some people you can review their profile to determine if they seem like someone you want to connect with. Then you can use one of the different communication methods to start a conversation. 

Starting a conversation can be scary and you may find people don’t respond. But don’t let that stop you. Try different things when you start that conversation. Whether you start with a compliment or whether you make a comment about a shared interest. You want the other person to feel some form of connection with you. They will of course also have viewed your profile and made some judgement about you (which if you followed my instructions, you should’ve given them heaps of information). 

There are two ways in which to send someone a message on BateWorld, a direct message (DM) and an instant message (IM). In my experience people who visit the site frequently prefer IM. This is because this is easier to have a backwards and forwards conversation. The IM chat function is also available on every page and inside it you will see the online status of people who are your friends. But you can also navigate to anyone’s profile page and send them an IM from there. 

Once you’ve started a chat the window will persist until you dismiss it, but the actual content of the message will disappear after a while. This means if someone doesn’t respond quickly enough, they won’t see the message. A direct message is more like sending an email and is generally used when you either don’t respond very quickly or for longer messages. 

Bateworld Groups

Another aspect of BateWorld which you can use to advantage is the groups. Each specific region or city usually has a group in which you can find other bators in your area. If you don’t find a group for your specific region or city, then you can also set up your own. This might be a great way to get more people together for those in smaller areas. These location-based groups are also good because you can see if some people are more active in your area and then you can try and see if they want to meet up. 

Within these groups you also have a couple of different ways of communicating. You can create a new thread, join an existing thread, or simply post a comment on the group. Each of these have the own distinct advantages. Some groups will have threads for different purposes, i.e looking for specific things and so if they match what you want then you can simply respond to either the thread or reach out directly to others who have written in the thread.

Others might have specific locations within a city or region which is great if you live in a larger city. But if you don’t find one that works you can also just simply post a comment on the group. These have no specific topic and are just displayed in chronological order. Feel free also to reach out to people who you see posting in these groups directly as well (using one of the previously mentioned messaging options).

Another way in which you can use groups is to find people who have similar interests to you. Whether you are into frotting, daddies, or popperbating (to name just a few), on BateWorld there is a group for every kind of kink or interest so make sure you explore them and join some that reflect you. Going back to the setup of your profile, I do often look at the groups people are a member of to determine if we have similar interests so make sure you join a few which are reflective of what you are looking for. 

Making Friends

Adding people to your friends list is also something you might need to experiment with. Some people will not want you to send them a request before chatting with them first, i.e. they want to know about you. I personally don’t mind who requests my friendship and will generally accept everyone. There are also different kinds of friends that again helps to you to organize your friends list. 

The Bate Buddy Meetup!

Ok now we’ve gone past finding people to chat with and we’re starting to make some connections. Let’s take those connections and meet up. At this point it will depend on what you are looking for in terms of encounters. If you want to meet up virtually through skype or similar then you can arrange a time to do so. Or if you are looking for in person bate buddies you can also arrange a time and place. 

One thing I have noticed with people I meet on BateWorld is they are generally interested in getting to know you first. Unlike some of the other ‘apps’, most guys on BateWorld are not simply interested in hooking up but really interested in a proper long bate session. Because of this I find that it usually involves a lot more talking with each other before the first meetup.

During this time, it is important that you give your prospective bate partner as much information about what you want and what you would like to explore with them. I particularly like this little bit of pre-encounter banter to find out some of things we can try when we meet up.

I recognize that for some men the prospect of meeting in real life versus virtually can be the difference between night and day. If you only ever want to meet up online, then you should make that clear from the beginning. I myself have been in a position where I only ever met up with people through BateWorld VidChat or Skype. These relationships can be as fulfilling as ones in which you meet up in person. They key is to treat them exactly as you would any meetup. Take the time to get to know one another and look for what makes the other person happy. 

If you instead looking to meet up in person and this is the first time you’ve ever met up with someone in real life it can be a daunting prospect. You don’t have to go straight to a sexual encounter. You can if you want to feel more comfortable suggest a more plutonic first encounter by meeting at a coffee shop or bar first. This will allow you to work out if there is a connection before trying anything sexual. 

If you go straight to a sexual encounter, then you will probably be either inviting them over or going to their house. The first encounter will always be a bit awkward as you won’t yet know what each other likes. Afterwards I think it’s always a good idea to check in with them. Let them know how you felt it went and whether you’d be interested in doing it again. Remember the first meeting doesn’t have to be perfect. You’re still getting to know one another and what you like. 

All of this is dependent on what your ultimate goal is with making connections. I am starting with the premise that what you’re looking for is a bate buddy, i.e., someone with whom you can have regular encounters with. For that to work you’re looking for people who you can find a connection with. It doesn’t need to be a full romantic connection but someone with whom you feel comfortable expressing yourself and your needs with.

Once you have found someone who you click with, I think it’s important to start having regular sessions. They don’t have to be every week. They can be every couple or even once a month. But try and do it on a regular basis. This will further allow you to explore each other and what you like. At this stage also don’t rely on the other person to reach out, you can and should be reaching out as often as you like. You need to let the other person know that you are interested in seeing them again and that includes showing them repeated interest in meeting up with them.

Setting Up A Group Event

Once you start having regular buddies the next step could be to organize group events if that is something you would like to explore. These can be as simple as bringing two or more of your regular buddies over, or you can have your buddies bring people they know. Events are a great way to really start to explore other men.

Getting in situations where you can have multiple men touching and pleasuring each other really adds another layer. Having connection and being able to effectively negotiate giving and receiving pleasure is the most important part. Just remember to start small and not try having too many men at once. The larger the group the more effort will be required to ensure that everyone is having a good time and is engaged.

If you enjoy putting on these smaller gatherings, you can of course start to grow this into a more traditional Jack Off Club. In these you will be hiring a small venue, selling tickets, providing rules, and generally making sure that everyone is able to have a good time. You may find that your local area already has one but if not, I highly encourage you to start one yourself.

These do not have to be big events and can be just small groups of men in a hotel or something similar. These kinds of events really help provide a space in which men can come together and find each other which provides another avenue for men to find bate buddies!

Last Thoughts

This process just now repeats. You look for new people who you can connect with and send them a message. Likewise, if you’ve set up your profile well, people should also start reaching out to you. I think it’s really important to be active on BateWorld. Whether that is posting in groups, participating by liking and commenting on people’s profiles, updating your own profile with new pictures etc. The more active you are the more people are likely to come across your profile. 

Finding a bate buddy is not something that just comes to you, it is something that you really need to work on and put yourself out there for it to happen. I hope that some of these tips are helpful in finding your own bate buddy. I know a lot of angst that guys feel when they are unsuccessful in this pursuit. I really do think that BateWorld provides a good resource in finding men who are also interested in Bating in most locations.

I also recognize that if you live in smaller areas that the main obstacle you will probably face is a smaller pool of guys to choose from. In those circumstances I think finding a Jack Off Club or similar in surrounding areas may help as they will provide a concentrated way of meeting lots of guys who are into bating. 

As always, I appreciate your feedback and your ideas about what has helped you. Please send me a message on BateWorld and send me a friend request. We are all looking for the same thing and that is validation, affection, and comradeship.

Written by BateWorld member BIGBATOR1

More from this author

Bator Pride: Embracing Your Self-Pleasure