Hey Bators! Frotologist here with another report from the Frotology Lab. A couple weeks ago, we posted a poll, “Have You Ever Met One of Your BateWorld Buddies IRL?” We were overwhelmed with how many of you answered and commented.
Now let’s look at the results and discuss what it’s like to meet a BateWorld friend in-real life. And if you haven’t yet, then we’ll tell you how to do it!
First, an analysis of the result
At the time of this writing, the top answer is “Just a Few,” with 256 votes out of 722 total votes. “Not Yet” is a close second with 218. Then you see a dramatic dropoff. “All the Time!” with 90 votes and “Just One” with 81 are neck and neck (or dick to dick). Then we have “Cam Only” with 48 votes. Now that I think about it, I probably should have included an option of “Both Cam and IRL—My dick is hybrid.” Rounding out with the lowest-voted answers are, “Not for me” (14), “Never” (11), and “Not Anymore” (4).
The big takeaway from this very informative poll is that over a third of BateWorld members who voted have met with just a few other BW members. And just under a third have yet to meet another BW member in real life.
Why is this?
Well for one thing, a lot of y’all are married or in committed relationships. BW member tauris78 explained his situation, which I get the feeling a lot of you can relate to:
I do not need fucking; I get that from my wife. What I am interested in is sharing the most primal thing we guys do, jacking off. And while we do that, I want to discuss how we do it, why we do it, discuss pussy, etc. So, in short, to talk about all the stuff you cannot talk about with your wife and often also do not talk about with male friends.
That’s such a totally cool comment. It succinctly describes what so many married bators—both straight and queer—have told me over the years. BateWorld is designed to facilitate whatever type of bator you are or aspire to be. Often, that’s a safe, virtual space where you can share the love of masturbation to an extent that you are not able to with your partners. So keep doing what you’re doing, married bators!
Location
Another big factor for “Not Yet” is geographical restrictions. In order to address this, I am going to first drop in this comment from raincityjack:
As leader of Rain City Jacks (and participant!) I have many, many bate buddies, including many I meet on BateWorld, as well as local guys I’ve met through Member Search and visitors I met through Traveling Bators. There’s a terrific synergy between BW and IRL buddy bating. It just requires a desire to connect physically, willingness to share a little about yourself, and the wherewithal to reach out.
I love this quote, and there are things in the second half that I’ll get to later, but first, let’s talk about location issues. I can empathize with bators who live just a little out-of-reach-(over) of metropolitan areas. So what can rural bators do to e-rectify this pre-dick-ament? Number one, when you are traveling, check BateWorld to see if there are any clubs like Rain City Jacks or private jack-off parties that you can check out. If you’re shy, don’t worry. These kinds of get-togethers are pretty laidback and the regulars are not only seasoned, they are well-lubricated and know how to make newbies feel very welcome 😉
Secondly, what if you have a friend on BateWorld who lives far away, and you’re really connecting? Don’t you think you owe it to yourself to go the distance to meet up and leave a hotel room smelling like sweaty man-dick and every surface covered in Albolene? Life is short, man. Book that plane ticket!
Thirdly, if there’s hardly anyone in your area on BateWorld, then take it upon yourself to introduce locals to BateWorld. This sounds like a shameless plug, but I am being 100% real. I show dudes BateWorld all the time because I think it really helps to explain what I am into but also open up local guys’ eyes to the world of bating and all of the benefits of interacting with men on BateWorld. I know I’m not alone in this because Jockedgym wrote in his comment:
I’ve met a few but I’d say I’ve introduced more bator friends to BateWorld.
I second that statement. The more you promote BateWorld, the more guys will join up, and you’ll create more opportunities for bator-meetups in your area. Be the change you want to see in the BateWorld.
I voted “Not yet” because I’m too shy
Now let’s address the other reason just under a third of you answered “Not Yet” on the poll. What’s that? You’re too shy to meet another bator irl? Well, buddy, I am here to give you a guiding hand(job). Like raincityjacks says in the second half of his quote above, it takes willingness to reach out. Here are some tips on how to meet up with your first bate buddy in real life!
Remember: Trust is the name of the game here.
We are talking about getting naked, and that’s as vulnerable as it gets. My best advice is to make friends with this person as best you can before exchanging any personal information, such as your phone number and address. If the member is verified, then that means they passed BateWorld’s verification standards. You gotta vet anyone before you consider meeting up with them. Sorry, my anonymous dudes, but that means faces. If you’re not comfortable sending a face pic, then that’s what camming is for.
My final words on this: Don’t be hasty. We make the biggest mistakes when we rush things. So it’s worth it to take time to get to know someone before meeting them IRL.
“Just a few” BateWorld buddies IRL
Now what about your humble clinician, Frotologist, over here edging underneath my lab coat? On the poll I answered “Just a Few.” Out of my nearly 9 years on BateWorld there have been only a special few whose engorged members have darkened my doorstep. Here is the story of the first time I ever met another BateWorld member!
What makes a BateWorld friend special enough to cross over into real life? Well, that’s for each of you to decide on your own. Let me just end by saying, it’s worth taking the risk. I am clinically-minded by nature, so I would be fascinated to post that exact same poll a year from now to see if these numbers can be changed or if they are set in stone. I’d love to get “Not Yet” down into the double-digits and “All the Time” into the triple-digits. Let’s go for it, bators! You have nothing to lose but your loads.
Are you horny for audio? Grab your headphones, the lube, and bate along. I did an audio recreation of the first time “J” and I hung out. It was a very special day for me and I remember it vividly, as you will hear ;).
More poll comments
Lastly, here are some more poll comments that I wanted to shine a light on for you readers.
“Over the years I’ve met quite a few guys from here, some local, some while I was traveling, and some when they were visiting here. I’m also an avid cammer. I’ve had my share of 1-time meetups, but also been fortunate enough to develop a few real friendships that have lasted for years. I’d say I’m lucky, but I honestly believe it’s doable by almost anyone willing to put in a little effort to be available and treat others with openness and kindness.” – jhd3rd
“I attempted to connect a couple times here with local bators but it never worked out so I gave up. No prob. For many years now, I’ve been a happy, satisfied, stay at home solosexual masturbator. One of these days I may try again.” – Mastrb8or
“Only 3 members from here, that were interested in making a connection first and spending some time building a friendship. When we managed to get together, as often as we could, the sessions were far superior to a random meeting.” – gerby
“Several. My photos include a few of the moments of frot shared with one or two. Plus I have an ongoing chat and IRL friendship with a couple as well. And another crazy hot friendship with a handsome young bi man which lights us both up in exceptional ways. It all began on BW. And has lasted for several years. I can’t say enough about this tremendous community.” – UprightMan7
“The first BW bud I met ended up becoming my long term partner, we’ve been together 5 years now.” – HairyUncut92
Thanks again for reading, and happy bating!
Read more from Frotologist here
Hi Frotologist and thanks for this awesome article. I have not voted on the poll but I would have voted on “just one” even if my dick is not happy with that *lol*.
I have found some really nice buddys on bateworld and I’m really looking forward to meet them irl someday. However I have met one buddy irl so far and it was awesome. So, why just one? Well simply as it just didn’t work out so far. First thing, I am in a long term relationship and just experienced batworld, bating, edging and gooning over the past 6-7 years, being in a relationship. So that’s kind of challenging for me, as things have changed regarding my sexual preferences. At first my partner has to know, as there is nothing more worse than having secrets about this. So this needs to be cleared first and takes some time. The second thing, as you mentioned, is location and distance. Really living in the countryside however the next bigger city is only 1 hour away however not all my buddy’s are located there. I have to say a bate with a buddy irl is something special to me. And this is because, as you mentioned, you have to trust each other and it really should match. That’s also not that easy and not always given and I think it really makes it relaxed and comfortable to edge together over hours if it is someone you feel really connected with. Also, as I am in a relationship, for me it is not frequently working out having buddy bates irl. There are times I want to share with my partner, vacation etc. So all things together, clearing things in my relationship, finding the right buddy’s, finding the time to meet a buddy and to mix up everything in a good way so everyone important to me, at least myself, feel comfortable with it, just makes it kind of challenging sometimes. Buddy bates irl are awesome but sometimes hard to organize for me. That’s why vidchat and cam is something I frequently do and really love doing, because it is much easier to organize, however I can also feel my dick saying “I really like to say hello to that dong over there irl”. I would like to point out that this is just my way I am thinking and if others living a different way, guys fine, congrats on all livestyles and keep it up.
P.S. Bro you really should do more audios. Awesome voice and your 1st Time Meeting audio just got me rock hard and wanting to join that bate 😉
Hey! Thanks for the detailed response. I love that you have found bate buddies irl and hope it works out that you can see them more often. Glad that you are able to negotiate that with your relationship too. That’s the ideal, isn’t it? Also extra points for the line: “I really like to say hello to that dong over there irl” Had me cracking up!!!
Another great read, thanks for delving deeper into why and how we bate. And thanks for using my quote!
Thanks for giving me the chance to quote you! Happy bating, bro!
Bateworld is a great place for me. There’s someone for everyone, but being available to connect, especially in real life, can sometimes be challenging, but not totally impossible. What’s great is when you actually get the nerve to have the meeting and following through. Each Bateworld buddy I’ve been fortunate enough to meet had their own vibe with them and were always explosive. I’m sad that most of mine were in travels, so it’s usually very good session. All I can say is if you get the opportunity to bate with a BW buddy, especially one that you are friends with… DO IT!! You won’t be sorry!! Thanks Frotologist for this blog!
Great to hear that you are enjoying Bateworld and that you’ve been able to meet some bate bros in real life. Hopefully you can find somebody in your hood soon. Keep searching your zip code–you might be surprised!
I need to get the nerve to do it one on one and can meet because i travel for work. Any advice on how to have a good experience and so so safely
Hawthorne1909
Great article. I was admittedly reluctant to meet anyone at first, but after I did and had a good experience, I did it again. Again, a great experience. My bateworld buddies are great guys and we have a lot of fun bating and talking about it. I wish i could meet all of them in person.