Self confidence leads to sexual confidence and vice-versa!
During this time of COVID-19, physical distancing, staying home, etc. we’re all scrambling to stay alert, informed, keep busy, stay working, helping in ways we can to make change, heal the world or finding ways to simply keep distracted.
During all of this, we forget to take care of ourselves. Ironically, it seems we have all the time in the world right now to exercise, go on that diet, meditate, masturbate (or masturbate more!), get outside, read that book – all those things that help build self; those things that get you back to you. The more we listen to ourselves, touch ourselves, and take care of ourselves the more we get to know ourselves, and the more we do this the more confident we can be in all aspects.
Taking time to masturbate and be with yourself is absolutely one thing you can do to discover yourself and get to know your body and boost that self and sexual confidence.
Sexologist Dr. Jallen Rix (Hand2rod on Bateworld) offers several sex-periential lessons and key steps to build your self and sexual confidence.
One of the questions I get most as a sexologist is “Doc, how can I be more sexually confident?” It’s a great question, and in this day and age of buying Apps to solve most problems, having real confidence is not so easily acquired with a push of a button.
Traditionally, confidence is brought about by experience. If you want to be a confident driver, you drive and drive and drive until you’re good at it. This includes making lots and lots of mistakes (there is no way around this part). Hopefully, you also submerge yourself in learning and doing everything you can lay your hands on to know and understand cars. Pretty straight forward, yes?
However, when it comes to sex, our opportunities to develop can be challenging. A lack of confidence can play against us. If we aren’t willing to do the “making mistakes” part, which of course can be embarrassing and humiliating—if we avoid this part, our insecurity can grow while confidence can dwindle. As I said, there’s no getting around the “making mistakes” part. Further, because our society keeps sexuality so secretive and “private,” lots of people are genuinely at a loss as to how to get their feet wet at building confidence. So here are a few key steps you can take to build your sexual confidence:
GET NAKED
This is one of the quickest ways to get over your body hang-ups. Walk around naked in your house. Go to a nude beach. Get an erotic photo shoot of yourself. I know it’s a challenge, but do you want to be sexually confident or not? Then take some layers off, baby.
FOCUS YOUR MIND ON PLEASURE
Here’s a novel idea: You are not at the mercy of your thoughts. Your mind is just one of the amazing tools you have to experience life, just like your body, emotions, and spirit. Use your mind to your advantage, not the other way around. Regardless of the flow of crazy thoughts that constantly move through your mind, learn to focus on your pleasure. Meditation is great for this. Long masturbation sessions are great for this too. Teach your brain to filter out the negative and emphasize the sexy! Yes, you can.
Pleasure itself – that good feeling you get in response to food, sex and drugs – is driven by the release of a range of neurotransmitters (chemical messengers) in many parts of the brain. But dopamine release in the brain’s reward system is particularly important. Dopamine release tells the brain when to expect something rewarding, modulates how rewarding it will be and drives us to seek rewarding things. – NeuroScienceNews.com
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
Despite it sounding “airy-faerie” the most basic definition of confidence is “self-belief”. This is not a delusional belief like you can fly, or you’ll never grow old. Instead, it’s just a little more belief in yourself than you have right now. It’s accessible. It’s baby steps. It’s the recognition that you’ve enjoyed sex before, and despite mishaps or challenges, you’re determined to enjoy it again by getting gradually better and better at it. Self-believe is a gradual building up.
MAKE IT OK TO MAKE MISTAKES
Have I mentioned this yet? There’s no getting better without mistakes. Personally, my sexual confidence has grown momentously from making sexy bate videos to post on BateWorld. What viewers don’t see is all the videos in which things did not go well. I have as many video clips that I’ve never aired as I do on my profile page. There’s no way around it. Give yourself compassion by embracing your mistakes and become more confident as a result!
CONNECT WITH OTHERS
Finally, find a group of people who will accept you and affirm your sexiness, regardless if you cum or not, whether you get hard or not, or whatever you look like. The path to confidence aligns with other Sexual Beings doing the same thing you are doing. Have fun. Slip up. Show off your sexiness. Enjoy the moment, regardless of how “good” you are at it. Healthy Friction events or BateWorld’s Cock Summit (coming up in September!) are excellent weekends for you to get your sexy on with other guys just like you!
Log on here to join us at the Cock Summit. I will be your personal pleasure guide and we’ll build sexy confidence together!
Stay sexy and confident, meet bators for a virtual good time while flattening the curve on Bateworld
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Lots of good info. Most importantly, just be open about our need for masturbation. For me I’d like to connect with more bators, the pleasure is always much more intense & fulfilling when shared with others. And I just want/need to connect cyber style, using skype. I masturbate daily.
really enjoyed this!