Our bisexual longtime friend, ‘Danny,’ came over for dinner the other night. With COVID, we eat safely outside in our screened-in porch. Since it’s S FL my friend asked if we should dress for heat. I said yes and that I would be freeballing, wearing shorts and flips and my usual tank top t-shirt. My wife and I have been close with Danny for all our married lives. We were friends before my wife and I met and he came to our wedding with his now ex-wife. As a friend, Danny helped us open our marriage and my wife knows he and I have jacked off together many times. He also took a nude photoshoot of us for another Bator Blog article and even joined us naked. My wife said she wouldn’t have to wear a bra since he has seen her naked, and Danny showed me he decided to go commando too and lifted up his shorts leg to show me. Spending time with bisexual friends is one way to be with your bi tribe.
In our hetero-normative society, everyone is assumed to be straight and part of that tribe. Gay guys have their own distinctive culture, though not all gay guys are a part of it. That leaves bisexuality, which is somewhat invisible. Hence, the need for a Bisexual Awareness Week (Sept. 16-23 in U.S.) and Celebrate Bisexual Day (Sept. 23rd).
As a bisexual man in a mixed-orientation marriage (my wife is straight), fitting into both gay and straight spaces is a two-edged sword. Sexuality often being fluid, I have identified as gay, bi and straight over the years and lived in those communities I am perfectly comfortable in gay spaces (although my wedding ring gave me away in a gay strip bar one time before marriage equality Lol) and I naturally fit into straight spaces, especially when it’s known I am married to a woman. The down side is that one can be perceived as being disingenuous and “passing.” And what I want to be is authentic, rather than invisible or “erased.”
As I’ve reflected on the theme of Bisexual awareness in 2020, I thought of other ways I find my tribe.
As a bisexual man I think of myself not as 50% straight and 50% gay, but 100% straight and 100% gay. Over Labor Day weekend my wife and I visited a local science museum. As much as I enjoyed the exhibits, I also like people watching. People are part of the natural environment too There were lots of young couples there, both straight and gay. And lots of the women, and guys, seemed to like to show off their sexy legs! I could relate to the straight couples as I held hands with my wife. I thought public displays of hetero affection are one way of expressing my bisexuality, even if it’s the “norm.” There were also public displays of affection by some of the guy/guy couples. One couple stood facing each other while one partner playfully rubbed his boyfriend’s hips. I wanted them to know I was part of their tribe too.
It was indeed with genuine pride that I put on a “Bi” button at a recent conference for LGBTQ Christians that my wife and I attended.
Last year, I attended a meeting of a new, local LGBTQ council where I live. At my table there was a guy who is prominent in the movement. We all went around and introduced ourselves, our pronouns and how we identify. I was surprised that the movement guy identified as pansexual, and introduced his girlfriend who spoke about their “queer relationship.” They were surprised when I introduced myself as bi and not just an “ally.” These two recently announced their engagement and I thought to myself, “Right on! They are good role models for the bisexual tribe.”
Finally, I find my tribe on Bateworld. There are so many bisexual guys I chat and swap porn links with while we masturbate. We have a great time and since we like straight, gay and bi porn, there are so many options to choose from. We also have opportunities to talk about our lives as bisexual men that we could never discuss with friends and family members in real life. Other than an interest group, it is probably the best place to share and learn about and bond with other bisexual guys.
Where do you find your bi tribe? Where do you think you can look for them?
Happy Bisexual Awareness Week! 💗💜💙
I’ve always considered myself straight curious. I’ve never done anything for reals with guys but I do enjoy chatting & fapping and watching guys I chat with here. It’s been eons since I’ve had intercourse but do enjoy getting together with women. So arousing… But I’m really a better bator than a fuck. And do it daily.
Our picking the correct label for our sexuality can be challenging. In the end, we’re all “sexual” and enjoy those amazing pleasures we can give ourselves and/or share with others.
I have always been Bi . My first partner experience as M /M . I am completely comfortable with either situation. When I was dating my now wife , which I did meet thru swinging I told her point blank of my sexuality . That I was a bi m that plays often with anyone ( I do play safe) if she had a issue we don’t need to go any further.
Benn married 17 years we’ve had many bi situations with me being the sub taker . I am so lucky that I have the freedom to express my sexuality openly .