“Our responsibility as men and masturbators is to continue to perpetuate positive images and attitudes toward masturbation…”
by Bateworld member JerkoffboyCT
For more than three centuries, the notion of a man ‘being a masturbator’, has been vilified and reviled almost uniformly in Western Society. Somewhere between 1712 and 1716 a pamphlet titled Onania: or the Heinous sin of self-pollution was published and distributed in London and later in Boston.
This in turn inspired a medical treatise on the subject, L’Onanisme (Translated to Onanism in English) by Swiss physician Samuel August Tissot who based his findings on his study of ‘young male masturbators in his care’.
Both Onania and L’Onanisme advocated the severe and irrecoverable mental and physical damage masturbators were inflicting on themselves by engaging in the act of masturbation.
This anti-masturbation cause was taken up in the 19th century by the likes of Dr. John Harvey Kellogg and Dr. Sylvester Graham who, respectively, created The Graham Cracker and Kellogg’s Corn Flakes as anti-masturbation measures. During this era fourteen patents were also granted by the United States Patent Office for anti-masturbation devices to be used on young men.
In the early 20th century masturbation was re-diagnosed as a ‘sexual perversion’ and the likes of Sigmund Freud wrote about the ‘disease of masturbation.’ As recently as 1968, The American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic and Statistical Manual still classified masturbation as a mental disorder.
Of course, the anti-masturbation cause traces its origins back millennia to early Judeo-Christian teachings that advocate the only reason for a man to ejaculate is to procreate and any notion of ejaculation for pleasure is sinful.
Countless generations of young male masturbators have been told that they would either ‘go mad’, ‘go blind’ or ‘get hair on their palms’ if they continued engaging in their masturbation habit. My personal journey as a masturbator begins in 1990 at the age of 11.
Although the American Medical Association declared masturbation as ‘normal’ in 1972, seven year before I was born, many of the negative stigmas surrounding masturbation were still prevalent as late as the early 1990s, during my development as a young masturbator.
This led to many years of unnecessary doubt and worry during my early teens. Thoughts like ‘Am I the only young man who does this? Am I the only one who jerks off as much and as often as I do? Am I the only young man who loves masturbating as much as I do?’ were often a concern.
Between the ages of 16 and 19 my identity as a masturbator really started taking shape. I began identifying as a masturbator as opposed to a man who just masturbates. For me, masturbation became the primary sexual act I wanted to engage in. It was not just a quick something I did to get myself off until the ‘real thing’ presented itself. Masturbation was, and still is, the ‘real thing’ for me.
One of the most lasting and prevalent misunderstandings about masturbation is that it is merely a substitute for penetrative partnered sex. This is of course not true. Masturbation is a totally fulfilling and gratifying form of sex. Masturbation allows the masturbator to engage very deeply with his own body, mind, and soul. This allows a man to have some of the best sex he could ever hope to have with himself.
Another misconception about being a masturbator is that a masturbator would rather just sit at home all alone and masturbate by himself rather than seek out a meaningful connection with other human beings. This is not true either.
For about a decade, from the age of 19 to 29, I would actively go out to masturbate rather than masturbate at home. Being the dedicated masturbator I am, I still did a fair share of masturbating at home too, but during this time my primary masturbation sessions would take place in adult theatres, video arcades, adult book-stores, backrooms and porn lounges at the local steam baths. For me, there was, and still is, something extremely erotic in the knowledge that all these places were specially designed for men to go and masturbate themselves.
What I loved about masturbating in these places was that there was a sense of community. Every man who was there was there for the same reason I was. We could just be ourselves without the game playing and pretence that often accompanies courting rituals. We did not have to pretend that we did not masturbate. We could just drop our pants to our ankles, take our dicks in our hands and do what men, or should I say, what masturbators, do. I found it extremely liberating to be able to proudly masturbate in front of other men and masturbators. To own the fact that I was indeed a Masturbator.
For the last ten years, Bateworld has become my primary place to masturbate. Here I have made the most incredible connections with men from all around the world who love masturbation as much as I do. The positive, supportive, and extremely encouraging attitude towards masturbation from all the masturbators I have connected with on Bateworld has been pivotal in shaping my identity as a proud masturbator. Being a member of Bateworld has given me the courage to proudly state: “I am a masturbator” without any feelings of guilt or shame.
Like the LGBTQ community adopted the former slur ‘queer’ and turned it into a positive word of affirmation, likewise, many masturbators, including myself, can now appropriate concepts and terms once linked to negative concepts surrounding masturbation and turn them into highly erotic triggers to fuel our masturbation. Being called a ‘jerkoff’ ‘a tosser’ or a ‘wanker’ or being identified as a ‘chronic’ or ‘compulsive masturbator’ no longer brings trauma and shame it once did, instead these words and phrases can now be used to cause great euphoria as we revel in our proud masturbation habits.
Attitudes toward male masturbation have not always been as skewed and negative as they became in the last few centuries. The ancient Egyptians believed that the world was created when the God Amun masturbated the entire universe into being and male masturbation was something sacred and special.
Our responsibility as men and masturbators is to continue to perpetuate positive images and attitudes toward masturbation so that future generations don’t need to be confronted with outdated negative tropes and feelings of shame regarding one of the most incredible things a man can do to himself. My journey towards a healthy and positive relationship with masturbation started with something as simple as accepting that BEING A MASTURBATOR is who I am and that I would not want to change it for the world.
Follow JerkoffboyCT at Bateworld.com
Great essay brother. Smart, loving and confident. Written by a true masturbator. <3
I love masturbating too
I, too, especially enjoying going to those public places like theaters and bookstores with arcades and masturbating. It became even MORE enjoyable when I discovered anal mastubation. That still has NOT caught on as much as I would like, still I enjoy. Especially with the new generation of remote control toys. That’s the next level, imho.
I love masturbating naked in arcades and theatres too
I agree with your assessment that there is a difference between being a masturbator and being one who masturbates. Being a masturbator requires serious introspection, love of self, exploration and ever increasing heights of pleasure. I have masturbated for 52 of my 64 years and “played with my cock” for six years before my first ejaculation. In the last 3 years I have realized that I have been a life long masturbator. I embrace being a masturbator and I need, want, desire, lust for and love to masturbate. It has become my primary and best sex….ever. BW has provided a positive reinforcement for masturbators and I consider myself lucky to have found BW 3 years ago. My hope is that someday masturbation will no longer be shamed and ridiculed and all men can enjoy being life long masturbators.
Always good to hear/read from another mature masturbator; one who has incorporated his solo needs and pleasures fully into his lifestyle. I’ve been enjoying it since 12 yrs. old and I’m a healthy 72 now.
Well said. I think it is this “seriousness” that eludes most descriptions of committed masturbation. It is hard to put into words the depth and complexity this activity can acquire after many decades of practicing and learning to accept, without apology, its importance in our lives.
Thank you for sharing your story with us. I discovered my Penis at the age of five or six. By the age of eleven I was masturbating every day and shot my first load of sperm that year. I felt guilty after every session. I feared I was going to Hell because I enjoyed this amazing Penis pleasure. Between the ages of 12-16 I could suck my own Cock. Tasting my own cum made me want to masturbate even more. By 17 most of my masturbation consisted of long edging sessions. As time went on and my self pleasuring skills improved I felt less guilty. Today I can say proudly and without shame that I Am A Masturbator!!
So interesting to see how masturbation as evolved over the years. Especially on our own personal terms, from that very first time to now. I made the amazing discovery when I was about 12 or so and from the very beginning it was an odd combination of OMG this pleasure is such an amazing gift we can give ourselves. And then right afterwards in my tingly afterglow & cleanup, I felt so weird/strange about what I’d just done.
Often times (after cumming) thinking gosh I’m NEVER doing THAT again. And then hours or a day later, I had the desire/urge to do it all over again. And the cycle would repeat. I was in my 20’s when I finally got my first chance at penetrative sex with a gal friend who’d modeled nude for me for my photography class.
When she offered herself it was such a powerful combination omg so exciting for her to take an interest in me and for us to remove our clothes. And away I went, abit timid exploring her body and following her little trail of fur downward to her bush. Yet at the same time I quickly realized for some reason my cock was a total (useless) softy. Like what the fuck… How embarrassing.
And my communication skills were silent & timid. I didn’t know what to say or do or ask. If I could have mentioned how I loved to masturbate. Maybe something more would have happened. Instead we remained kinda sorta friendly but we never got together intimately again. Of course the next day I was masturbating and fully erect as I was “replaying” (like a movie rerun) how exciting it was to explore her lovely slender body and her fully bushed pussy. Which of course helped me achieve such intense orgasms. And omg so erect & hard.
Eventually after other pussy encounters I realized I’m really meant to be a masturbator. And there is nothing wrong/bad about masturbating, it’s simply a beautiful gift we can give ourselves whenever we want. And now at 66 I can proudly say – 50+ years of solo sex.
I love you my friend. We have spent many up years masturbating together and I feel the exact same way that you do about the lack of shame and the liberation that masturbating openly and proudly creates.
Excellent article! Very thorough and well written. I think you speak for all of us masturbators. You certainly do for me.
A very eloquent essay about those of us who embrace masturbation. By the time I graduated high school, I was quite aware of who and what I was. Shortly after graduation, I was fortunate to have met – and eventually married – a woman who was equally solo-positive. Masturbation became one of our favorite shared activities; never at any point a “substitute” for penetrative sex. We’ve been masturbating together and privately for decades. From what I’ve garnered from internet communication, we would seem to be in a minority amongst couples in a relationship. Sharing masturbation doesn’t seem to be so common with couples. That’s sad. They don’t know what they’re missing. We masturbate with pride and a sense of liberation.
You are truly a lucky man and a lucky couple. I have frequently wished that my wife and I masturbated together as well as separately. I believe, as you have alluded to, that it would strenghten our bond and enhance our sex life. I don’t think her disinterest is sex would be present if she masturbsted as I do. Thanks for sharing your intimate life.
Yes in my chats with other marrieds, it’s not very common that a couple shares the passion for masturbation like we do here. The communication between couples just doesn’t seem to be as open as it is here.
I’m guilty as well, I’ve never been open enough to be able to discuss my need for masturbation with any of my gal friends. And how I’m really better at masturbation than penetration. Or just to find out what a gal really wants pleasure wise. Would be so exciting to be open our needs with a partner.
You are either gay or lesbian. I don’t care about the rest of the alphabet community. I discovered to masturbate when I was 8 to 10. Then I started being en exhibitionist and a locker room hanger outer. I loved being naked with other men and showing off to what I hoped was a male audience. I’m now 64, and I still get out there, I’m proud to display what God has given me and I appreciate men who are not ashamed or scared of being naked. We are all sexy, it’s the show of confidence. Steve
I am proud to say that I am a masturbator, a solosexual masturbator…
I have always enjoyed masturbating. I can’t remember how old I was when I first discovered it but it was at a very early age in the late 70’s and I’m 49 now so you do the math. I used to love humping my bed pillow or one of the plush “stuffed” animals I slept with as a child and then eventually found out how much fun it was to use my hands.
I was never embarrassed by it but I knew it was looked at as “wrong” or a sin by many and to this day I still can’t believe how something that gives one so much pleasure could be considered disgusting, embarrassing or a sin. It’s natural ecstasy in it’s most purest form.
Over the years I’ve explored it further as it was and always will be my preference. It just keeps getting better with age. I agree with @JerkoffboyCT that there is something extremely erotic about masturbating in the video stores, theaters, and backrooms that cater to men who enjoy masturbating openly and freely. Read my blog in my profile titled “Adult Movie Theater Bate.”
Access to porn on the internet and sites like Bateworld have definitely helped me explore masturbation more and become more comfortable with my body. I enjoy sharing pics of myself and showing the fun I have while bating. It’s nice to see that more men are embracing the joy of masturbation and sharing their experiences in a positive light. There’s nothing wrong with it and never will be.
Thanks for sharing this with us. 🙂
100 percent solo masturbant! I take pride in being a masturbant. For me, wanker or masturbant is not a dirty word. I like to be a masturbant and I am proud of it. That being said, most people masturbate anyway. For me, sexual activity is masturbation. I mean that masturbation is a basic need like eating, drinking and breathing. And masturbation is also fun. I have been masturbating almost every day for 67 years and I still enjoy it. In addition, masturbation has the advantage that you can masturbate with a penis that is not completely erect. I have had a problem with erections since I was 62 years old. I am now 76 years old. Daily masturbation is very good for the penis and the prostate. You can see that in my pictures after 27 686 masturbations in 67 years. I am proud to be in such a large company of masturbators.
Love the term “masturbator” and how it defines me. I used to be an avid golfer, but when at age 40 I discovered the ability to have wave after wave of mind-blowing orgasms through semen retention, masturbation went from a pleasurable release to a life-altering experience that I treasure daily.
As for golf, I still do it a few times a year. I am now, and forevermore will be, a proud and dedicated “avid masturbator.”
Yes, masturbation, as it can be practiced by adults with fully developed sensibilities and a mature self-mastery, is a far cry from what is practiced in childhood and adolescence. Far from being a “stage” on the way to “real” sex with a partner, it is an authentic expression of of sexuality, that can and should be explored as one would any worthy field of endeavor and afforded dignity, at least by oneself.
We cannot rely on external authorities declaring that masturbation is somehow now “ok”, much less wait for society as a whole to give its seal of approval. That may never happen. The solosexual lifestyle is an evolving phenomenon that draws its power from, and is currently being pioneered by, those who have embraced it fully, not by those who look on from outside.
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH MR. BARBOUR.
I HAVE BEEN MASTURBATING. IN SOME FORM, SINCE THE AGE OF 7 YEARS. OTHERS SHOWED ME HOW.
I HAVE BEEN IN SEVERAL GAY RELATIONSHIPS AND ONE STRAIGHT MARRIAGE, OVER FOUR DECADES.
MY LONG MASTURBATION SESSIONS CAN LAST TWO OR THREE DAYS MASTUBATING AND WATCHING OTHER UNCUT BATORS IS WAY BETTER FOR ME, AND FOR MANY OF US THAN FOR ANY OTHER FORM OF SEXUALITY…PERIOD.
I REMEMBER, SO EROTICALLY, WHEN A SCHOOL FRIEND OF MINE “ACCUSED” ME OF “WHACKING OFF” EVERY DAY.
FOR ME, MASTURBATION WOULD BE FAR LESS ECSTATIC IF SOCIETY SAID IT IS “OK” NOW
DOUG RENOLDS
tbrian@rogers<com
I’m an avid masturbator. What i like most is enthusiasm. If i watch a guy or gal playing with their genitals and see enthusiasm I so enjoy stroking to that. This article has that enthusiasm and i enjoyed stroking my cock to it, thanx