Masturbation AKA Time Well Spent

In another thoughtful article, long-term blog contributor M.B. Timothy (Saboteur on BateWorld) writes on the relationship between masturbation and time. Speaking on themes he explores in his new book BATORMORPHOSIS, Timothy makes a case that every time we masturbate we honour who we are, who we were and who we are becoming. 

Author and masturbation advocate, Timothy is the author of five books on masturbation covering self-help guides, fiction and personal stories. BATORMORPHOSIS, released this year through Amazon, is a poetic treatise on the joy and power of solosex to change us. 

Any man who edges with any skill knows that time is an illusion. It is malleable. When our penises are hard and we rub them lovingly, it is as if time melts. A bator is often taken aback by how many hours were ‘lost’ to their masturbation. For some, a whole day might go by before the bator has any comprehension of it. To them, their pleasure may feel as if it lasted mere minutes. 

“When our penises are hard and we rub them lovingly, it is as if time melts.”

A masturbator is in a constant relationship with time. Sometimes it is a battle. Will I have enough time to masturbate? When will the time come that I can take out my penis and pleasure myself? Even while at it, there is a subtle war raging. The longer we masturbate, the more inevitable our orgasm, and the penis wants to ejaculate.

The edger, wishing to delay the inevitability as long as he can, needs to master how many strokes per minute will keep him deliriously edged. How can he play around but not trigger the point of no return? He needs also to learn delay, moments when he takes his hand off himself to let time moderate his excitement. Velocity, speed, direction, pause, and the rate of change are all tools in the bator’s arsenal to conquer and court time. 

When masturbating, we walk in time’s garden. We take as much as we can from it. We realise that it is the most precious gift to us as masturbators. Sometimes it takes us too long to grasp this and we only notice after years of our life have gone by. At that point, we begin to get nostalgic. We recall the year we began masturbating and count the number of years that have elapsed since.

With the benefit of hindsight, we might wish we had done things differently, perhaps been easier on ourselves. Or we might marvel at the imagination and creativity we brought to our masturbation many years prior, before we got stuck in ruts, doing little more than what works to get ourselves off every day.

I hope you have vivid recollections of your discovery of masturbation. I do. I hope that you can recall with detail wonderful times you spent pleasuring yourself throughout your life. Many of us have had a journey with the emotional aspects of our masturbation. We have grown up with negative connotations around masturbation. We may have felt guilt and/or shame or seen ourselves as dirty.

As a young man I feared my hands would grow hairs from masturbation and that I would go blind. I wish I could reach back to that young bator and tell him that hair will not be growing on them. They are his companions and not to be feared. They won’t reveal his ‘dirty habit’. Not even a palm reader will know how often he masturbates. They are his to use at will. They are his biological right to pleasure. 

“As a young man I feared my hands would grow hairs from masturbation and that I would go blind. I wish I could reach back to that young bator and tell him that hair will not be growing on them.”

If I move past those negative feelings, I sense again the wonder in those first years upon learning how to masturbate. I feel again my curiosity and my joy of discovering something adult. I feel that same kind of wicked delight I felt then at having a ‘secret’. Something mine, and only mine.

If I close my eyes, I remember the delirium, the whirling delights, the surging of pleasure. These wonderful emotions seem to leap across the chasm of time, despite it widening evermore year on year, and renewing me in the here and now of my life. They make me feel good about myself and how far I’ve come. It’s as if in the past I masturbated for myself now.

I had no comprehension of this until recently when I found an image I used to masturbate over furiously as a young bator. Like Proust eating his Madeleine, it unlocked a whole world of feeling that time had sewn up. I realised that all the edging I did during my teens and twenties built up a sense-memory of beautiful feelings that I can now tap into decades later. And so it goes, that the masturbation I give myself today, I give to the ‘me of tomorrow’.

Given all the luck in the world, I hope to still be here in many decades to come. I hope that I will be masturbating with the same hungry enthusiasm. From what I’ve learned from elders in the bate community, masturbation gets better and better. It does so because our sense-memory of pleasure grows across our lifetime, nourished in this remarkable thing we have that we call our body. How lucky we are then to grow old.

If we masturbate with negativity, time will build it into us like a crust. If we masturbate with joy, we will cloak ourselves in that instead. I know the kind of bator I wish to be. I am a bator who prioritizes time for my penis always. After masturbating for thirty or more years I have begun to see the sex I have as thanks for my body. It makes peace in my life, and brings me happiness. That right there is a celebration of life. Prioritising masturbation is now to me evidence of a life well lived. 

“From what I’ve learned from elders in the bate community, masturbation gets better and better. It does so because our sense-memory of pleasure grows across our lifetime, nourished in this remarkable thing we have that we call our body.”

There is a distinct connection between who we are as masturbators and the amorphous nature of time. If time bends as we masturbate, or ceases to be entirely, then time becomes what we want it to be. I see time as a road; a road paved with pleasure. It starts from the first time we masturbated and traverses right through our experiences. But it does not end today.

The road journeys beyond you into the future and takes in all the masturbation you are yet to do. You are a voyager on it. Time moves you physically in one direction, but masturbation allows you to drift back emotionally and psychologically. We can be itinerant or nomadic on our own trail. The times you stopped to masturbate in your life exist along the road as inns with candles in the windows. These inns are ready to welcome you in to take shelter.

You can check in, stay as long as you like. Within these stops you can imagine yourself, at various ages, doing the kindest thing you knew how to do for yourself in that moment. Masturbating. As the voyager, you can observe and be fuelled by these experiences. In this way, I believe we can actually travel through time.

“This is not just time-travelling tourism. We use these techniques to heal ourselves too.”

This is not just time-travelling tourism. We use these techniques to heal ourselves too. We can learn from or make changes to our story. I go back and make specific, intentional interruptions to things I regret doing or not doing. Things I wish I had not felt shame over. Things I let upset me. All these are ripe for the changing. We can change our lives for the better by masturbating into those moments and changing the way we see them or feel about things.

I now masturbate for the man I am becoming too.

He is a man who yearns to be erect all the time. He is a man who has kept his seed flowing every day. He honours himself with masturbation. The fact he has spent more time masturbating than eating shows what nourishment it gives him. I love that. I try to conjure him in my present, this older version of me, masturbating with abandon, thankful for all the pleasure he’s been able to generate over his life. 

Everything can exist at once. The past is present and the future is now.

I hope you feel this. I hope you realise you’re in a really great time of your life, with everything you are doing for yourself, as a bator, and all you do for other bators. Bring yourself from tomorrow and conceive of him with you today. Visit your past self and let him know his future is filled with the pleasure of masturbation. No matter where you are on your journey through time, there are good times ahead for men who bate. 

Grab your copy of BATORMORPHOSIS 

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