What Does “Watching Porn” Even Mean?

For decades, I’ve heard or read that watching porn has this or that effect on us as individuals or as a society. What’s striking about this conversation in the media and online is how rarely the term masturbation is used when discussing “porn watching habits.” Watching Porn has become a euphemism for masturbation that’s both incredibly inaccurate and troublingly uninformed, I would say even intentionally misinformed. Guys aren’t foremost “watching porn,” they’re jacking off and using the visual material to add to their enjoyment and excitement. They’re not passive observers, they’re active participants in the process of sexual housekeeping and a lifelong relationship with their penis through visual stimulation.

Moral and intellectual prejudice regarding masturbation has been the go-to position for millennia, and it’s important to speak openly about it instead of couching it in a jingoistic phrase that addresses none of the scope or substance of the issue involved. I think the real message is that there are moments when “decent” people can’t be controlled by religious indoctrination or social shame. That they’re masturbating isn’t something shameful in itself, yet over and over again the underlying message is that if only these people (usually they are men) had real character, they’d be doing something “productive.” Every orgasm takes you one step away from being a better citizen, apparently.

To me that’s like saying, well, if only he hadn’t stopped to eat three times a day, he might have contributed something to society. Masturbation is not only a physical need we have as men, but it’s also an imperative. Whether we approach that ethically and mindfully is a different subject. How often we need it is an individual concern, but enjoying masturbation several times per week, or per day, only means you’re able to celebrate your libido more to your own satisfaction. It’s not like you’re stealing something from yourself or anyone else. Masturbation is, or can be, a reward and respite away from the tensions and complications of our lives. Taking some Me Time isn’t selfish, it’s practical and necessary.

Is sex or masturbation addiction a problem? Yes, for some people. Does “watching porn” cause problems in some relationships? Yes, for some couples and families. Should all “porn watching” be painted with such a broad brush? Absolutely not.

Searching for “US Porn Watching Statistics” brings up over 4 million results with Google Search. It’s not like I’ve read through a majority of them, but again and again the articles I do see often misuse the statistics to fulfill an agenda. People with religious convictions have a right to believe what they want, but so many of these messages seem to use straw man arguments without really getting down to objective truths, choosing instead to go for outright bigotry and ridiculous shaming.

Here’s a quote from an article listed seventh on the Google Search for Masturbation and Porn:

1. Effects on bones– If you do extreme masturbation (8 to 10 times in week) and continue this habit for long time like for six month then this will make harmful effects on your bones. When person try to masturbate lot in short amount to time them he or she started to ejaculate type of white part of bone which include phosphorus, carbon and other minerals which are extracted from bones. If you masturbate a lot, you will begin to feel your knees and elbow joints start to make sound when moving, just like a very old person.

2. Effect on your face – By watching a person’s face you can tell that how much he masturbate or include in sexual activities. And even you can tell which hand he use lot to masturbate. Those who masturbate lot their cheeks started to shrink, narrow and go inside just opposite of chubby. Pimples are natural in young age but those who masturbate, for them pimples and acne create big problems. They increase in numbers and make bigger in size on face. Make spots on face. By that face look ugly. Masturbation also make asymmetric you face for example if person masturbate lot from his right hand then his face will be narrow and asymmetric from right side.

The author is not even trying to hide their ignorance, and yet out of over 6 million results, this article is number SEVEN in relevance.

What feeds this ignorance is a prejudice toward sexuality and the people who enjoy freedom of sexual expression. This bigotry must be exposed and held against the light. Being pro-masturbation doesn’t mean being pro-exploitation of women, children, men, animals, or whatever else people get up to in their private darkness. It means accepting and embracing our sexual nature and building a lifelong role where sex and masturbation make our lives better, happier, and more fulfilling.

The issue of representation of women in commercial pornography is an important subject to address, and there’s no question that it’s a difficult terrain to maneuver through between women and the men who jack off using female imagery for stimulation. Men are capable of exploiting women on every level in our society, and for some women that precludes every other consideration. But men have a right to their sexual desires too, if they’re not hurting anyone.

Commercial erotica itself is geared most towards the appetites of straight cis males. That is it’s purpose, to inspire straight men to masturbate and ejaculate. I can’t speak for men who enjoy getting off by watching hot sexy chicks, but there’s nothing in that which is inherently shameful if everyone is a willing participant. As far as I’m concerned, if that’s what you’re into, and the women performers want to be there, that’s a plus and good on everyone involved. People who do the work to turn us on are sexual angels. I’m always really grateful to see a hot guy exposing himself for my pleasure. It’s not exploitative, it’s a back and forth form of arousal, pleasure, and orgasm.

Gay porn is much more accepting of the voyeur/exhibitionist dynamic. The moral qualms with gay pornography revolve more around acceptance of gay expression and desire than exploitation of the performers. But again the negative messages all fall back on the old trope that masturbators are morally compromised, that jacking off is a drug that will drag your life down and leave you friendless and addicted to a sad, desperate and disgusting drug-like experience.

It’s time we talk directly about masturbation as masturbation, the way images are incorporated into our masturbatory expression with a sense of playful exploration of what we find sexually appealing. People need to be called out to stop the euphemisms and speak directly about the subject before we can take the discussion seriously.

Even the term Porn itself is misleading. What does that encompass, that one term? There are thousands of kinds of erotic or openly sexual imagery circulating today online, and putting it all under the umbrella of Pornography is seriously twisting the term to fit an agenda.

Is BateWorld pornography? Are men posting cock pictures and videos of themselves pornographers? Is the literally unending stream of amateur men and women on Tumblr posting pictures of themselves or of other amateurs pornography? If masturbation isn’t involved, is it still pornography? Is my jacking off to picture a friend sent me “watching pornography?” If I masturbate watching, say, Forrest Gump, does that make it pornography? (For the record, I’ve never done that…).

The whole subject is so messed up. There seem to be few standards to discuss the realm of porn-related masturbation with any intelligence or rationality. This is a serious, scholarly subject and it requires that we address it with maturity and openly without prejudice. Most of these articles seem to be out to deny that those who masturbate have any dignity or that masturbation itself has any fundamentally positive place in our lives.

Let’s start challenging these discussions to reflect the reality of the subject, free from sexual bigotry and moralizing. Adult humans need masturbation. How we express that is what’s important, not WHETHER we express it. It’s often the shame and prejudice attached that lead to problems that wouldn’t be there in the first place. To get to any healthy discussions of the subject, we’ve got to start speaking about it truthfully.