…Respect how someone wants to be seen, and how they view themselves.
QUESTION: I met a really handsome bearded guy in a chat room, and we agreed to masturbate on cam. After a while, when he seemed reluctant at first to show his cock, I realized he was a trans man… no penis, but what looked like a rather large clitoris he played with. Then I got sort of excited and him too… it was actually great! I ejaculated after a while, and when I asked, he said he orgasmed. But is he really a man?
RESPONSE: This is a complex issue in some ways, and increasingly common as a situation we deal with today. But the simple and most decent approach, in my opinion, is to respect how someone wants to be seen, and how they view themselves. This is also related to the matter of gendered pronouns, such as “he, him, his” or “they, them, theirs.” The last three have become more common as referring to people who do not identify as a single gender, but perhaps are more sexually fluid or ambiguous.
These days, if someone born female appears masculine overall, and yet retains female-style genitals, the person may express their pronoun preference in many situations. If not, should the matter come up, you can first state what pronouns you prefer, then just politely ask, “What pronouns do you prefer?” This is my suggestion; be respectful and honor anyone’s preference for verbal labels.
In the first part of the last century, when gender re-assignment and transexual surgery first became available, this was usually a process of hormonal treatments to begin the process of physical and psychological transformation. A change of name, dress and grooming habits often led to an eventual operation or series of operations to change the body to conform more completely to the new gender, than hormones alone would accomplish.
In recent decades, the options have diversified and been explored more fully, as in the case of the person you encountered. Sometimes hormones progress far enough to produce a beard, increased muscles and breast reductions plus chest hair may produce a male appearance above the waist, but not so much further south. In the most generous sense, “It’s all good!” So long as a person is happy and you can be happy for them, labels may not be so important, unless that too is part of the happiness involved. Which is also all right.
However, this is far more than a matter of pronouns, but of human dignity, of the innate value of every person exactly as they are. Because someone does not conform perfectly with the majority that identify with the anatomical gender of their birth only means they form part of the marvelous variety of our human species that enriches everyone.
In truth, I cannot answer whether or not this person is a man, which depends upon answering “What is a man?” That’s not simply a matter of anatomy. Still, I encourage an attitude of respect and appreciation for all human diversity.
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
