QUESTION: I am a physician, an M.D. in my 30s who has long been a fan of your teachings. I work in an Emergency Room, which is very stressful and the hours long. I’m single, so your kind of masturbation really helps more than I can tell you. I read your columns here. Could you present a simple summary of a few of the most important points on how to Masturbate Mindfully?
RESPONSE: I’m honored by your appreciation Yes, of course, I’ll gladly do this. Actually, some of the guys I work with at Bateworld to prepare my columns have suggested something like this before, so here we go!
First: Let me make clear what “mindfulness” really means. Mindfulness simply means paying full attention, being alert, fully aware of your body and your actual immediate surroundings. When you apply this to masturbation, it means you want to pay full attention to your own body, to what you are feeling and what you are doing in the present moment.
Begin your session with some stretching and breathing. Don’t dive into stroking or looking at porn right away. Instead, get completely naked and begin by slowly running your hands all over your body from your head to your toes. Invite every part of your body to participate: caress your chest, nipples, arms, hands, shoulders, head, face, ears, torso, hips, legs, knees, feet and back up to between your legs. Just cup your balls and genitals at first, go slow and easy about beginning to stroke your genitals. Be patient, even tease yourself a bit!
1. Breathe Deeply: The most important tool I offer you is the first practice that you can add to every part of your masturbation sessions. Start your session with deep belly-breathing. This helps you to relax. It benefits the quality of your erections and helps you prolong and intensify your pleasure, as erection is part of the relaxation response. This is the opposite of tense, upper chest breathing. So put a hand on your belly and makes sure when you breathe IN, your belly goes OUT; when yo0u breathe OUT, your belly goes back IN, towards your spine. Try doing deep “connected” or “continuous” breathing. This means don’t pause at either the top or bottom of the breath. No holding your breath in or out—keep it going.
2. Relax: Once you get the deep, continuous breathing going, go ahead and get plenty of lube on your hands. Apply lube generously to your penis and balls. Enjoy your growing erection but go slow. The major thing I notice with most men I see masturbating online is it looks like a frantic race to the finish line. Even if you plan to ejaculate at the end of your session, try to let go of any goal. Enjoy the journey. Go slowwwww. If you get close to ejaculation, breathe even deeper, either pause, or use one hand to stroke away from your penis, up your belly or along your thighs, towards your knees. This helps spread the pleasure through your body. Don’t focus on a full erection all the time—let your penis wax and wane like the Moon in its cycle. Go slow, slow, slow.
3. Focus on Yourself: There’s nothing wrong with sometimes using fantasy or looking at porn for bate fuel. However, if you always do these things, they may limit what you actually feel in your own body. It’s good to vary your practice, break habits, explore new territory. Return your full focus to yourself. Admire your own genitals, even use a small hand mirror down low to inspect the underside of your balls and penis. Stand up and watch yourself masturbating in a full-length mirror. Don’t judge yourself—just enjoy how intense and marvelous it feels!
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
Great article! I love the wax and waning of a good long bate session. Love to Edge here so it not all about the ejaculation. Like the felling of a full penis!
Yes! It’s also great to allow the fullness to come and go naturally, without concern about being fully hard all the time!
So true…enjoy one’s penis in all it’s states ….. Soft, semi, hard & fully erect
Thanks, Brother! yes, one benefit of semen retention, at least for longer than a few hours or perhaps a day or a few days, is being ready for more “playtime” almost any time–no interruptions. Plus your penis tends to hang a bit more stretched and full. I find my balls are often more sensitive since I don’t ejaculate so often now, sensitive, but not sore when you do it properly, keeping balls and pelvis relaxed. Peace — BPG
I have definitely felt the draw backs of diving straight into a hard and fast bate. The result is an ejaculation but hardly an orgasm and much less an enjoyable one. Deep breathing and self touching in other places is excellent advice. Thank you so much for writing and I look forward to reading more!
True Trockett, there’s SO much more to masturbating than just a hard and fast bate. Just the simplest of things we can do for ourselves such as exploring and touching our intimate areas and some deeper, controlled breathing are such easy ways to turn a quick jo (pound) into a much more enjoyable masturbation session.
When I quit smoking, I tried to envision myself in an elevator without my cigarettes any way. It seemed to help. I wanted to get a few things off of my chest about porn, bating, edging etc.
I don’t use lube. What if you didn’t have it available, does that mean you shouldn’t bate. I hope not.
Edging, since I was a young boy, my father asked me why I was so anxious. I asked what that meant and I answer appropriately, I shrugged my shoulders. I cum and in 15 minutes can repeat. I am 68 and do not need a cock ring, as I am clostophobic.
Toys can bring new horizons to your bate, but at what point are they too much? What’s important, the toys or the bate?
Anal sex is a complete mistery to me, in as much as the human vagina was designed specifically for such activity. A douche is needed, the smell is atrocious, and our penis disappears into an abyss, far away from our vision. The penis is to be enjoyed. Out of all of the porn I have watched, fewer that 2% of the fuckees cum. The fucker always does, but not vise versa. And finally by the time you have to turn your anus inside out to look like a pomegrante it seems rather self distructive. By now you know I enjoy felatio, and you could argue that the penis goes into someones mouth out of sight. But the angle is different. I like poppers have used them since my teens. But I don’t need them to enjoy myself. There now I feel better. Happy NY
No crees que es mejor eyacular pasadas unas horas? La próstata debe relajarse
Is there Bate group near Knoxville, TN?
Sorry, but group info wouldn’t be part of TheBateMaster’s responsibilities. There is a section right here on TheBatorBlog
https://www.thebatorblog.com/bate-life/jack-off-clubs/bators-guide-jack-off-clubs/
But it’s just a beginning, and extremely resource-intensive to maintain. I would urge you to post that question on BateWorld.com.
Thousands of guys will see it and respond if they know. Also, you can use the group, and event functionalities to search there. Good luck and ate on!
The new year is the perfect time to renew and review my commitment to maximize my personal pleasure. I enjoy the process of looking into the details of my habits and techniques and attempting to tweak things using Bruce’s principles to add some extra pleasure and control. What a time we live in to be dedicated experts in worshiping our cocks and developing our pleasure to even greater heights!
Hi Brother John! Sorry I missed this until now… but I salute your resolve to increase your penis pleasure, and I can assure you all it requires is a willingness to try new things and practice, practice, practice… !!! — BPG