Shooting For Distance!
QUESTION: Since I was treated for a prostate issue, I don’t really shoot cum out, though I enjoy erections, still love stroking and have great orgasms. How do I deal with this when I masturbate with other guys?
RESPONSE: As we get older our prostate always continues to slowly grow bigger and bigger. Prostatitis, which is several different conditions, can include blockage of the urinary tract, which of course needs to be remedied. Recently, cases of prostate cancer are often evaluated differently than before. Many cases of such conditions are now known to progress very slowly and not present much danger.
It’s definitely a good idea to get checked regularly. Ask questions of a doctor if you notice any major changes, such as difficulty urinating, or pain. Still, all men should be sure to get answers, and if you’re not satisfied with what you are told, always get another opinion. It’s your body, so be sure you make an informed choice for yourself.
The after-effects of prostate treatments vary from minimal to quite serious. In your case, you have retained what matters most, the ability to experience plenty of pleasure and to enjoy orgasms. As men, we often get quite fixated on ejaculation, which is understandable, as it is a dramatic and extremely pleasurable thing. However, ejaculation does not need to be the goal of masturbation.
In your situation, this is a case of the cliché about “Enjoy the journey, instead of focusing on the destination.” Also keep in mind that for some men, such as myself, the big breakthrough into higher erotic states is learning not to ejaculate so often anyway. I would much rather keep the erotic energy in my body, and I have learned to experience dry orgasms, as well as intense states of high, prolonged orgasmic pleasure. I consider these far more rewarding than the brief reward of ejaculatory orgasm.
When you are masturbating with other men, whether in person or online, you may want to just play it by ear, and decide whether or not to say something about this ahead of time. It might be best to let your playmates know early on. This could release the expectation and allow you to keep the focus on the pleasure along the way.
Most important is don’t let the issue get in the way of fully enjoying yourself with other guys, as you do when you are solo. Any good bate brothers will understand and appreciate your candor, and fully relish sharing the bate with you.
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BRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.
Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at www.eroticengineering.com.
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A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
Enjoy the journey, instead of focusing on the destination. So true, we often get fixated or locked into what we think we’re supposed to be or should be- downthere. A certain size or ejaculate a certain amount or distance in order to be more, whatever, virile. Fortunately we (or well many of us) masturbate for the amazing pleasure it gives us, it’s really not an Olympic sport, well not yet anyways,
And yes with age things do change downthere, well for me they have. I don’t bone like I used to, don’t shoot as far nor as much as I used to, Yet omg I still enjoy doing it. Yes when I cyber off with someone I usually let them know – all of the above, even though I only mic.
Most definitely the pleasure itself that we feel, unlike anything else in human existence, is the core of what truly matter here! Your comment is much appreciated.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful review of the question and a response while will help many of us, including me!
This is a topic valuable to discuss here–maybe not as “hot” as some others in terms of inspiring fantasy, but the realities we all face inhabiting human bodies and seeking to optimize the experience are good to be aware of and to openly discuss. Thanks!
I agree, an important topic for masturbators to discuss and yet perhaps not one that sends us over the edge. But I really do enjoy learning more about how things work ‘downthere’
Male masturbation is a topic of endless fascination for me!
Me too, endless. And many of us spend some part of our day exploring that fascination everyday.
I sometimes will go for a couple of weeks edging nightly just to the point-of-no-return and backing off. It’s very pleasurable. I wonder, though, if it’s healthy for the prostate to do that. I don’t suffer from blue balls as a rule but sometimes I’ll know I’ve gone on for too long and must ejaculate.
There are no absolutes in this realm that apply exactly the same to everyone. However, if you learn to keep your pelvis relaxed, which it sounds like you do since you don’t get “blue balls,” keep breathing deeply, vary strokes and change positions, this helps to spread the pleasure all through your body. While edging in a mindful, intense way, the prostate gets exercised and if anything, my opinion is it’s beneficial. I’m not opposed to ejaculation, and I’m not a medical doctor, but I also feel that to ejaculate sometimes as you mentioned, is also healthy.
Very vivid description for edging and helpful skills for honing those edging skills. Breathing, relaxing. For myself, I find that just have to cum. I want my orgasm. I deserve it. I worked for it.