I’m basically getting off to myself. Is this some form of narcissism? Where does the line blur?
QUESTION: I masturbate and get off by the pure experience of masturbating itself. Hardly ever look at porn or need it because of this. Sometimes I even watch myself in a mirror, or stroke to my naked selfies. I get off on getting off, but I’m basically getting off to myself, if you think about it. Is this some form of narcissism? Where does the line blur?
RESPONSE: Actually, what you do sounds extremely healthy to me! When you can keep the focus on yourself, on what you are actually doing and feeling, you can truly discover and explore levels of pleasure otherwise not easy to experience. I’m strongly pro-masturbation in general, as I’m sure you know, however, masturbation can be a lot less rewarding when you are too dependent on fantasy or porn.
I’m not anti-fantasy, or against porn at all, either. But one problem with porn is when it reinforces poor self-esteem if you compare yourself to porn models. How many of us look like a model? Honestly, many of the porn models I’ve seen, while they may be highly attractive to certain guys, seldom do they possess excellent sexual skills—even less often does masturbation porn demonstrate really creative, varied, powerful practices. It tends to show an accelerating race of piston-pumping to the finish line, which become repetitive and predictable.
To observe yourself in the mirror, or in photos and videos can be fantastic bate fuel for you. It also provides excellent feedback on your practice! Do you see yourself getting into routine habits too much? How might you take your practice even farther and higher?
Don’t worry about being narcissistic unless some of the following rings a bell. A true narcissist is not only extremely vain about appearance, and possibly other traits as well; a true narcissist only becomes interested in others who confirm their superior value. This can manifest as a serious personality disorder, if you get exaggerated feelings of self-importance, excessive need for admiration, and the inability to care about the feelings of others.
Your case sounds to me a lot more like healthy self-esteem, even loving yourself, which is a valuable asset. A true narcissist is deeply insecure below the surface, but you sound to me like a well-adjusted guy who doesn’t feel much need for outside stimulation beyond your own body. I’d say that to “get off on getting off” is a wonderful gift! So long as you still appreciate others at times, and don’t feel too dependent on the approval and opinions of others, that really is great!
Caring too much about what others think of you is never helpful anyway; what you think of yourself is most important. If you love yourself as you are, you’re way ahead of a lot of people.
Enjoy yourself, and don’t worry about blurry lines. In the intense bate zone of serious gooning, such lines seem a lot less important, or even non-existent!
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BRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.
Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at www.eroticengineering.com.
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A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
I love to Jack off and rub the cumm into my chest and I only want to masturbate alone and watch porn! I prefer shemale, man on man, chicks with big dicks,and cuckold and I don’t see that in reality so I masturbate
That’s all good! It really is a matter of whatever floats your boat–so go for it!!!
I want to go to a masturbate club and Jack off and watch the way other men cumm! Ummm
Most definitely, this would be a worthwhile “educational” experience! Let us know how it goes, if you do. – BPG
Until I joined the Bateworld community and heard other people’s stories I used to think I was the only person who got off on myself getting off, just as the questioner does. I was worried too that it might be unhealthy psychologically but actually it made me feel so complete and fulfilled that it only made me a happier person socially. I tried to analyse it and eventually came to the understanding that I was both observer and observed and that as I made love to myself I brought about a gradual synthesis of these two sides which resulted in a very satisfying orgasmic fusion, with no residual loneliness or depression or sense of abandonment. Maybe there were underlying psychological “issues”, but this harmless behaviour was a solution to which I spontaneously gravitated, which I still enjoy, and which definitely helped me live a happier life. Sieze the day, and enjoy yourself with abandon!
Most definitely, Brother, to get off on yourself is a very special step in self-awareness and in making masturbation a more mindful practice. Of course, it’s far from being the only option I suggest as really healthy and a tonic to any lingering shame or guilt conditioned into many of us from other people. Likewise this is a healthy part of also sharing yourself with others, getting off on them as they get off on you. The cliche about loving yourself is so true: it’s the key to loving others better, and you can’t do it effectively the other way around. If you don’t really love yourself, then trying to love others doesn’t work so well. Congratulations on really “getting” this!
I agree, I think your questioner is in a very good place – masturbation wise. Getting off on getting off, for simple & amazing selfish pleasures we can give ourselves. And not afraid to keep experimenting and trying new things. I’m guessing using mirrors in various angles of view will add to his pleasure as well as video’ing himself while masturbating will add greatly to his pleasuring.
Always enjoy the questions here that get a conversation going…
Yes, we’re so often taught that to love yourself is selfish in a negative way, because it might be at the expense of loving someone else. Add to this the fact that to truly love yourself it has to be on the physical level, not just those “other” aspects of you like emotional and mental, and masturbation becomes the best medicine for a lot of things!
Excellent attitude, Brother! Our cultures worldwide offer many ways we are supposed to feel guilty or selfish over such matters as loving ourselves, or even masturbation in general. IT takes self-awareness, and sometimes guts to break free of this conditioning and celebrate yourself. More power to you as you continue this journey… and what you describe of getting off on yourself, is actually a chunk of what I mean by “Mindful Masturbation.” Thanks so much for your comment! Peace, BPG
Hopefully he’ll keep us updated on where his continued explorations take him.
Yes, I too, am ready to hear more!
I have masturbated in front of a mirror for years, since I was young. I also stroke to my own pics and vids. I used to feel a bit weird about it till I discovered other on-line masturbators who also enjoy their own bodies and cocks. We masturbate far more than we have sex (at least most of us, partnered or not), so why not enjoy the body closest to you, which responds completely to you, is there for your pleasure, whenever you need, that you are, as you look at yourself enjoying yourself. Its a circle of pleasure–enjoying yourself enjoying yourself, taking enjoyment from seeing yourself, giving yourself greater pleasure to enjoy seeing you feel even more, feeding from it.
Your comment here makes total sense, Brother, That circle of pleasure is absolutely beautiful and healthy, a great contrast to the kind of uncertainty, self-loathing and unworthiness men often feel in regard to our bodies, our masturbation practice, our pleasure. I often suggest men make erotic photos and videos, even if you don’t plan to share them. Honor yourself this way, and never hesitate to get off on the arousing power of the imagery.
Just enjoy your youth and enjoy your penis any way that feels good and is legal, mutual (includes you to you) .
Bruce,,,,,,I can identify with this person…..I am a solosexual who also enjoys watching myself in the mirror……that all started as a boy dancing around in front of the full length mirror in the bathroom!
Thanks for telling us that its healthy!
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