Ask The Batemaster: I Jacked Off On The Bus

…thought I could get away with it, whipped out my hardon and started stroking.

QUESTION: Riding home on a city bus late at night, just a few people on board. This really handsome guy was dozing nearby. I got hard, (I’m 19, you see?) thought I could get away with it, whipped out my hardon and started stroking. Nearly came, but my stop arrived. As I went out, the driver stopped me. Said he saw me on a security cam and warned me. Close call, right? Guess I could get in some serious trouble for that…

RESPONSE: I hate to be a bummer, but this is very serious. It’s too bad that such behavior can have terrible legal consequences, which does not seem reasonable at all. Such laws reflect the sex-negative, body-shaming aspect of modern culture. However, you could have gotten arrested and charged with public lewdness, had some jail time, been fined, or both. Unfortunately, there is a long history of cultural prejudice against nudity, and especially public sexual behavior.

In a more ideal world, if someone saw you doing that on the bus, they might just wink and tell you, “Hey, nice cock!” Or at worst, they might avert their eyes and say, “I don’t want to see that.” But the world is still not so ideal for the freedom to masturbate wherever you want, whenever you want. Of course, it IS okay to masturbate just about anywhere, so long as nobody sees you, catches you, or so long as your audience is willing, even appreciative.

Sometimes “public lewdness” overlaps with “indecent exposure,” which is usually exposing your genitals or anus to gratify your desires, or those of someone else. To be guilty of indecent exposure, you must be reckless about whether or not others will see or get offended. If you are aware of the risk, but do it anyway, you are considered reckless.

So, you can see that there is some subjective judgement going on to establish such a charge. It may seem crazy, but this is a class B misdemeanor, and can result in 6 months in jail and up to $2,000 in fines. Sadly, you might be charged with indecent exposure for urinating in a public place, even if you feel sure no one can see you doing it. Not to inspire paranoia, just be aware.

Public lewdness is defined similarly, only it involves actual sexual activity, such as masturbation, and the penalties can be even more severe. Still, the worst part is not jail or fines, if you are convicted you will have a permanent criminal record. This can cause lasting serious problems, so you’ll want to beat the charges by proving you had no intention to offend anyone and you truly believed no one would see you doing it.

Even if this sounds exciting, it really is something to be careful of, the possibility of someone seeing you do it if you masturbate in public places. Of course, there are such places as nude beaches where standards are different, though usually sexual activity is discouraged there. Be sure you know the accepted standards in such situations, as there are private events, of course, where anyone is free to openly masturbate without fear of consequences.

Hopefully, when the world evolves, you can masturbate almost anywhere, anytime. Only for now, be careful where you show those family jewels and where you polish them. You were extremely fortunate that the bus driver did not turn you in!

BRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.

Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at www.eroticengineering.com.

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.