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Ask The Batemaster: Body Confidence

You are the only one who can actually do something about how you feel.

QUESTION: I’m in my 60s and not in bad shape, but no matter how I try with diet and exercise, I still have a little bit of a belly. All the totally in-shape younger guys (some older too) make me feel self-conscious. What can I do?

RESPONSE: This question is important to the vast majority of human males who do not look like a model or a gym devotee. Also, let’s face it, age-ism exists—only you need not let anything ruin your self-esteem. It’s so easy to make the common mistake of basing your opinion of yourself on the perceived opinions of others. Usually you really don’t know the opinions of others, and always, your own opinion of yourself matters the most.

Sure, you may sometimes get the impression that you are not someone’s ideal in appearance. Everyone feels this way sometimes, in the meat-market of online exposure of ourselves. Several important things are going on here, however: 1.) Appearance really is NOT the bottom line, even if taking decent care of yourself does signify some self-respect; 2.) Character and attitude, personality and behavior matter a great deal, even in the Cyberworld; 3.) Look carefully at your last statement above—like it or not, YOU make yourself feel self-conscious.

You are the only one who can actually do something about how you feel.

Of course, it’s not easy to be oblivious to the opinions of others, but there’s nothing more unattractive than poor self-esteem. In a world of over 7 billion now, literally everyone (regardless of looks) has a lot of people out there who will find them attractive. Have you noticed, that there are not only those fit muscle dudes on BW, but also plenty of skinnier and heavier guys? Truly, regardless of how you look to others, how you look to yourself is what makes you the King of Your Life.

Many of those guys who don’t fit the mainstream definitions of attractiveness do accept themselves as they are, and this adds a lot to their appeal.

Clearly, Brother, in terms of looks, you have some marks in your favor. Maybe it’s time to take a deeper look at yourself-image. This may involve literally looking in a full-length mirror again, observe yourself naked, and observe yourself observing. Are you, possibly, judging yourself more harshly than necessary?

Let me challenge you to do the standard “Love Yourself Mirror Exercise”: Stare directly into your own eyes, and say aloud, “[Your Name], I love you. I really, really love you, [Your Name].” Repeat and repeat, notice your reactions, good or bad, and keep repeating. Try to stop judging yourself, seek unconditional self-love.

Another great practice is something I often suggest to all male masturbators. Take some time to photograph and video yourself naked, flaccid, and also erect, and masturbating, and show your face. Remember, this is just for yourself! Sift through and pick out the most flattering images. Edit the videos to be “Best Of.” Study the result and masturbate to these images.

When you interact with guys online, keep in mind that the most ideal-looking fellows always turn out to have their own hang-ups! Believe in yourself. Confidence is a big part of being attractive to others.

The Bate Master - Bruce P. GretherBRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.

Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at www.eroticengineering.com.

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.<


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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