Word choices matter—sort of!
QUESTION:
I have to tell you, I agree with you, Bruce: the word PENIS seems a lot more erotic and accurate than all the other slang, like “prick” or “cock.” Those just seem vulgar to me, and I think penises are elegant and they rock! Why do different guys prefer different words for our precious male organs?
RESPONSE:
Word choices matter—sort of! This is a good question, and it brings up the basic issue of language and how the words we use to describe things and activities relate to those things. Word choice can encode something about our attitudes. Specific preferences guys may have for naming particular male body parts have a lot to do with each guy’s personal history, and also how his personal story relates to the social and cultural contexts in which he grew up and developed into the man he is now.
Personally, when I began my erotic activism more than twenty years ago, I already liked the term “penis” better than “dick” or “cock” or “prick,” which are common slang terms. There is certainly nothing wrong with such slang terms. Part of my lesser appreciation for them is that such terms are often part of curses, angry shouts, and put-downs.
Early on, when I expressed my preference for “penis” as being simply more accurate and to me more erotic, or at least as erotic as the slang terms, I often caught flak from people who said penis sounds too clinical or medical. Again, it’s largely a matter of conditioning. There is nothing approaching right and wrong involved. The only truly meaningful distinctions may be between more formal terms, and informal slang, or nick-names.
Men tend to become more aroused by certain terms, or at least feel more comfortable using such names for our precious male member according to that complex of matters I mentioned. I’ve encountered many men who like to rave and babble in high arousal or while gooning, and chant using terms like “prick/dick/cock” … others, more in my own ballpark love to chant “Penis! Penis! PEEENISSS!!!” and find nothing more arousing than this.
As you stated at the start here, I prefer PENIS. But in the world of male masturbators, it’s all good, so long as the prized organ is not being put down or insulted. Then, I would be more inclined to object.
Again, words are just words. There is a realm of pure penis pleasure where the sensations of stimulating your erection, or even your soft penis, become so intense, powerful, profound and beyond words, that such choices scarcely matter at all!
That “ineffable” place (a term that means indescribable, something that cannot be accurately named) is to me the best place of all to be while I masturbate!
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
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I too am am one of those that is turned on by hearing reading or speaking the word Penis. I recently saw a bate fuel video themed “Are you Penising your Penis? Hot. Let’s Penis up these Penises.
The nice thing about “clinical” terms is that they are far better descriptors of all of the parts of the male sexual anatomy… such as frenulum, foreskin, scrotum, gonads, glans, meatus, corona, corpus spongiosum, and so on. I have a bate bud who loves these terms and it allows us to share with each other exactly what part of our sexual organs we are stimulating and feeling. “Ya… run that finger around your corona bud.” Hell, I’m getting erect just thinking about it!
I find this discussion quite interesting as a sociolinguistic and cultural anthropologist AND avid (dare I say, chronic?) bator. I have some published work on word choices on gay hook-up sites, specifically, the use of the term ‘pussy’ to refer to the anus (Adams-Thies, 2012). When I was first introduced to bating, four years ago, I was struck by the use of the term penis and specifically, its use in an erotic context. When I have had my students look at transcripts from bate buddy interactions, they respond much like I did the first time: with shock and laughter at the term penis. However, once we begin an analysis of the transcripts, there are many important aspects to this word choice and the term begins to make sense within an erotic context.
As a gay identified male, the erotic imagery I had been exposed to previous to bating was gay porn. Gay porn rarely, if ever, uses the term ‘penis’ (unless in a medical scene and usually for laughs). Instead, the go-to choice is almost always ‘cock’. There are other word choices within porn, but very rarely does one hear the word penis as a means to heighten erotic practice.
So, and this is only one means of thinking about the choice of the word ‘penis’, I wonder how much of that choice is an attempt to distinguish bating, as an erotic practice, from other erotic practices between men (as depicted in gay porn)? Penis, as a term, does a lot of work (and, hopefully your penis is getting a lot of work in your greasy, bator, penis-stroking-hand 🙂 ) in terms of differentiating bating. Even more interesting are the corrections which can be found in many of the buddy bate videos available both in Bateworld and on other porn platforms. There are many, many instances where if one transcribes these videos, one can see that one of the bators might create an utterance like: ‘Oh fuck yeah bro, grease my cock….er, penis’. This common correction seems to indicate a discursive shift (meaning a way of seeing the world/understanding) from the erotics of gay porn to the erotics of bating.
Another interesting result of this word choice is the ability to identify other bators almost instantaneously by using the term ‘penis’ within an erotic encounter. I was once on the standing side of a gloryhole (don’t judge) and the fellator said something to the effect of ‘Fuck, dude I love your penis-dong!’. I knew in that moment he was a bator and in fact, the curtain came down and we edged penis for a couple of hours! The word choice of penis not only frees men from the linguistic word choices of gay porn; but also allows for identification of members of the bate community.
In any case, and sorry for the long post, I think the use of language and word choice can radically transform any erotic experience, shared or otherwise. If shared, then the use of language and word choice should be negotiated between the partners (if they are regulars) in order to enhance the duration and intensity of the erotic experience. Learning what language choices intensify our own, and our partner’s, erotic practice is for many of us, very important. I love the dong/penis/cock babble that comes with bating; I love the linguistic interaction coupled with the physical and spiritual interaction between men which produces a sense of heightened sexual engagement but also a heightened insight into how other men think about the erotic practice of bating.
Long live penis! Hail penis!
Thanks Brian. Very well stated.
I can relate to what you’re saying. But on the other hand, the English language is such a “rich” language, offering a wide variety of synonyms for our equipment, not to mention synonyms for myriad other objects. Words DO matter, but I like being able to refer to my penis by other terms and I certainly don’t consider them pejorative. Like any other aspect of masturbation, there’s really no right or wrong way to do it, other than not harming yourself. Some people like to masturbate to still image porn, others to video and still others consider it some “purer” form of self-love to NOT use any kind of visual stimuli.
To each his own. Just use a good lube, right?