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Ask the Batemaster: The Holiday Season Phallus

Phallic-Xmas-Tree---ATBM---The-Bator-Blog

Honor your erection as a Sacred Tree that helps to hold up the sky and returns the light to your life to you whenever you masturbate!

*Featured image courtesy of Daily Mail

QUESTION:

I’ve sometimes heard you compare our erect penises to trees! How about Christmas trees? Are there any particular phallic significances to this holiday season?

RESPONSE:

Yes! Of course, most people are occupied at this time of year, here in the USA anyway, with the holiday frenzy of consumerism: gift-shopping, drinking, and eating a lot, taking a break from work, and getting together with family and friends. That’s all good, basically, though the frantic purchasing and obligatory exchanges of gifts is not always so life-enhancing! 

What is no different at this time of “Holy Days” in at least several major faiths worldwide, is the needs and desires of your penis, and how incredibly good masturbation can make you feel about yourself. Pure penis pleasure can make you profoundly grateful to be a human male who loves to masturbate!

What is no different at this time of “Holy Days” in at least several major faiths worldwide, is the needs and desires of your penis, and how incredibly good masturbation can make you feel about yourself.

Regardless of culture or religion, this time of year is special because it is the approach to and the aftermath of Winter Solstice. That means astronomically the precise opposite of Midsummer, and it means the longest night and shortest day in the Northern Hemisphere, anyway. It means a time of turning inward, and often that aligns with masturbation.

One symbolic reason this is important is the increasing darkness and the rebirth of the light. Consider how you feel every time you have not been masturbating, and it suddenly occurs to you to do it, and you do it! Pretty awesome, right? Like the light breaks through again!

Well, indeed, I like to compare the erect penis to a tree, in particular the archetypal World Tree. That is a symbol of connection between the Earth below and the Sky above (like any actual tree), and indeed, Christmas Trees can be considered phallic images too! Doesn’t all the tinsel, the lights, the decorations, seem like a great way to honor how marvelous an erect penis truly is? Doesn’t the star or angel, or whatever is at the apex of the tree suggest how “heavenly” masturbation can make you feel? Or how supreme an ejaculation can be?

There is also the tradition of the Yule Log. “Yule” is a more pagan term for this period of celebrating the increasing cold and dark and the reborn Light of the World—in this case probably the Sun or even the Sun God! Well, in the Middle Ages it was often customary to have a hearth in the center of the Great Hall of a castle or huge home, or even use one of those ginormous fireplaces this way. A tree-sized log was kindles at one end, and slowly, gradually burned for many days, even weeks or a few months to warmth, cooking heat, and to provide a dim glow of light.

Don’t let the many distractions of these Holy Days, some of which are delightful or even profoundly meaningful, distract you too far from your penis and how much you love masturbation. Honor your erection as a Sacred Tree that helps to hold up the sky and returns the light to your life to you whenever you masturbate!

Happy Holy Days, my Phallic Brothers! Stroke onward!

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

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View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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