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Ask The Batemaster: Porn & Mindful Masturbation

Ask The Batemaster - TBB - Porn & Mindful Masturbation

“Mindfulness is about nothing more than intense alertness, being really present in the moment where you are and in your own body. Keeping focus on yourself.” 

QUESTION:

You sometimes say that using a lot of porn for batefuel isn’t necessarily bad, but it  doesn’t mix too well with Mindful Masturbation. What about all the bating vids you guys make, you and Russell and Henry and Nico and Rupert and Coach Nic and all?  Isn’t there a contradiction here?!

RESPONSE:

I really haven’t got anything against porn, which can be wonderful! But you are right that it does not always mix well with the Mindful Masturbation practice that I encourage. Mindfulness is about nothing more than intense alertness, being really present in the moment where you are and in your own body. Keeping focus on yourself. 

Porn can be very exciting, but it is also a record or images of something that happened elsewhere, at another time, to other people.

In today’s world, many men have come to associate easy access to online porn so strongly with masturbation, that they might as well be one and the same thing. Similarly, many men believe that orgasm and ejaculation are one and the same experience. As teenagers, guys often experience both at the same time. This becomes an assumption that they are identical, or even the same thing. Your habit of seeking both orgasm and ejaculation together may become so strong that you never truly challenge the assumption.

Men who become serious “edgers” often discover that to prolong the delicious stimulation of your penis indefinitely can prove incredibly rewarding. Eventually you may experience prolonged states of high arousal that are even more rewarding than an intense ejaculatory orgasm. Also, edgers, or men who consciously decide to retain semen though they may masturbate a lot, sometimes learn to have “dry orgasms.” You orgasm but don’t ejaculate.

Yes, you can certainly learn to separate orgasm from ejaculation. Though the dry orgasm is usually not quite so overwhelmingly intense as its ejaculatory cousin, the dry orgasm has the virtue of meaning you need not lose your erection. You can continue to masturbate, and possibly experience a whole series of dry orgasms. Male multiple orgasms!

This is not necessarily the goal of Mindful Masturbation, but you are right that there seems to be some contradiction on using porn as bate fuel, when you see how many masturbation videos I produce with my cohorts! For me, this is a dream come true, and our intention is not the same as it is with commercial porn producers. 

Our productions aim to be erotic and arousing, but with the purpose to inspire and even instruct you in the direction of making your own masturbation practice more rewarding. In my decades of doing this work, I’ve learned that for most men, super-fine masturbation does not just come instinctively. But it can be learned.

Some coaching and demonstration by example, makes all the difference!

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

Similar Articles of Interest

Mindful Masturbation Techniques: Episode 1

Ask The Batemaster: Why Don’t All Guys Do Mindful Masturbation?

 

 


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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3 Comments

  1. IMHO, watching porn and mindful masturbation are mutually exclusive.

    The distraction of porn doesn’t enable one to delve as deep into their edge. Perhaps it can be used as an initiator, but after a point, it really serves little purpose. Sight and sound need to be vigorously filtered.

    Mindful masturbation is the equivalent of meditation. (i.e. medi-bation) One can’t truly meditate while watching episodes of Judge Judy, or Mom. Nor while listening to fire sirens and greatest hits. These are incompatible activities.

    Having mindfully edged, anyone who suggests otherwise is denying themselves of what is possible.

  2. I respectfully disagree with guzir44. The visual stimulation provided by pics or videos is as legitimate a source of arousal as any. There is no “right or wrong” way to masturbate, unless you rub yourself raw. I respect the opinions of masturbators who wish to do it in a “pure” way. That’s fine. But don’t denigrate other forms and styles. If sex is about anything, it’s about variety, and that means involving as many of the senses as you choose.

    And I’ve engaged in “mindful masturbation.” I just don’t find it the best “fit” for me.

    And I don’t try to set any records when I masturbate. The duration, intensity and focus vary from session to session. Some are longer. Some are shorter. It’s all good, my friends.

    I’m politely asking the Moderator to post this comment, and he may delete this final sentence if he wishes.