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Ask The Batemaster: Masturbating Roomies

ATBM---Masturbating-Roomies---TBB

QUESTION:

I’ve got several nice roomies, and though it’s often hot outside, we like to keep the A.C. chilled indoors. The other guys often stroke themselves under a lap blanket on the couch while they watch TV. Makes me horny so I go do it by myself in my room. I’m too shy to ask to see what my masturbating roomies are doing. How can I get braver about this?

RESPONSE:

If the roomies are bold enough to be so obviously stroking themselves under a blanket in the living room, maybe you just need to be bold enough to speak. Say something like, “You guys are making me awfully curious,” or even, “This is making me so horny!” One even bolder stroke would be to whip out your penis and play with yourself in front of them.

Of course, depending on the guys and the actual vibe, a less direct approach could prove more fruitful. 

Have you tried doing the same thing they are, masturbating under a lap blanket, instead of fleeing to your own space? If you are doing just the same thing they are basically, eventually they might agree to take off the wrapper. Shyness can be quite appealing to those who are bolder than you, or you might go right by them unnoticed! 

At the same time, it may not be wise to violate the privacy of these men. The fact that they do this as openly as they do, makes it seem unlikely they would be quite so sensitive about it. That also suggests they may be wanting to eventually let the blanket slip off or flip them aside and let everything be done openly. Perhaps the current situation is just a step, a temporary comfort zone.

There are also ways in which the entire situation could be more stimulating as it is. Consider how total nudity all the time becomes un-erotic. During actual nudist events, when a wide variety of people spend long periods of time completely naked and generally everyone is totally visible to everyone else, sexual activity is not so common. This means that, as wonderful as nudity is in human experience, some of the thrill and excitement comes from the fact that most often the people we encounter are at least partly clothed!

This does not mean I suggest you just enjoy things as they are. By the time others read this blog, your situation may have progressed to totally naked orgies of your roomies, including you, all masturbating together—or not. 

Regardless, your situation sounds like it will not persist for too long. If you can summon the courage to just speak up and speak honestly about your curiosity, the change could come sooner, rather than later.

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at BateWorld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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8 Comments

  1. I would definitely let the room know why I was retreating to my room, because the activity was making me horny. But I am the type that would leave my door open even though I retreated.
    I can’t really offer advice but I sure wish I had roomies that did this

  2. I totally agree with the Batemaster. If these guys are masturbating freely under a blanket out in an open space area watching tv they are not shy and they want you to know it. I would not retreat to my room, but instead I would get a blanket, sit on it and openly masturbate to see their reaction. It doesn’t make sense that they would do that knowing you know what they are doing. I have a feeling they all probably want to be seen but are testing the waters. You could be opening the door to more fun. And in the rare instance that is not true (which I highly doubt), just cover up like they do and say “sorry”. If I was worried about someone seeing me masturbate I would not be doing it freely in the open living space. I assume they all have their own rooms or a private space. It is one thing when sleeping in tight quarters like a military environment to jack off under the covers not to be seen but in your environment they have choices. I think they probably do want to be seen.

  3. Men love showing off their dicks. Even more so when they are around other men. And even more when they’re hard. We change together in locker rooms, shower together at the gym, and pee side by side. Next time, just slip your joggers down to your ankles and go to town on yourself. Give em a show! Then let us know how it went :o)

  4. Living in community is a blessing and challenge. Communication is the key to good relations with your roomies. I would advise you to communicate: 1. Your horniness at seeing them masturbate covered, 2. Your desire to be open with them, and 3. A general need to masturbate openly in the privacy of this apartment (in other words, make a policy that it’s ok to get your dick out, after all it is your home for now, as it is theirs as well. Talk it through. And enjoy your bate. Don’t be scared to talk about it.

  5. Reminds me of a roommate situation I had almost 30 years ago. Took a new job out of state and found a woman who was 20 years older, “done with men” and who was looking for a roommate in her condo. On the weekend I moved in, she said she was going to the store and with a laugh asked if I needed anything like “stroke mags or lube”. She later told me that same evening, that I should probably be aware that if I sat on a certain couch that it was her favorite spot to watch porn and use her vibrators.

    We would watch porn a few times a month together in her living room while we both masturbated on separate couches. Always at night with the lights out, and without much fanfare nor sexual interaction – kind of a mutual understanding of the need we all have for pleasure.

  6. Fake it till you make it.

    I agree with the Batemaster, your current situation is just a step, a temporary comfort zone, and the situation may have progressed by now, or about to.

    But, I get the feeling, that you are shy and holding back. Not wanting to mess it up either.

    I recommend pretending to stroke yourself under a lap blanket, when they are also doing it. Move your hand around, over time make it more obvious as to what you may be doing down there. If you don’t wanna show skin yet, keep your socks on, but push socked feet out of the blanket, writhe them in pleasure and stretch your socked toes to make it clear you had a orgasm (fake or not).

    Eventually, you will see their reactions, and adjust your obviousness. Over time, you will not be shy, and actually start to stroke yourself. This would just be the start.

    Keep making it obvious what you are doing, and the others may follow your lead.

    Take it slow, and enjoy yourself. Masturbation is meant to be positive for all including yourself.

    1. This is a great idea. The pressure is off, you are just joining in on the activity. Maybe the others are waiting for you to join in to push things further. Real or fake, if you play along, the magic may happen.