“…You have evidently given yourself permission to enjoy pleasuring yourself, which is great, in itself!”
QUESTION:
I’m in my early 30s and still live with my loving parents, who are very religious. I masturbate a lot and they probably know it, though we don’t talk about sex at all. Somehow it bothers me that I cannot be honest about something I love to do, something that means so much to me. I wonder what they would think if I mentioned it. Is it a good idea to try?
RESPONSE:
Clearly you cannot be sure how your parents would react to telling them, even in a roundabout way, about your appreciation for masturbation. Otherwise, you would not have asked me, and you might have taken some initiative in that direction. The fact that they do not discuss sex with you at all, though you have been an adult for quite some time, and you cohabit with them, suggests that they would not be comfortable with such information.
Even if the primary reason for your parents’ reticence about discussing sex is not religious at root, it is likely a combination of their own social and cultural conditioning, and perhaps their own personal history. This kind of inhibition is passed down generation after generation—indefinitely. At least for your own sake, for yourself in your own privacy, you have evidently given yourself permission to enjoy pleasuring yourself, which is great, in itself!
Even if the primary reason for your parents’ reticence about discussing sex is not religious at root, it is likely a combination of their own social and cultural conditioning, and perhaps their own personal history.
Something most of us eventually learn about our family members and other people is that others simply cannot be expected to change their attitudes, even though it can happen. Your parents might not actually be quite so inhibited as you imagine, if you ever have a chance to communicate with them on this subject in the right context. Still, this is not something you can know for sure, either, without more information.
Also, it is understandable that you feel an urge to share with your parents your experience and the realizations it has led to that have proved life-enhancing for you. Again, however, they cannot be expected to understand, or even be able to relate.
Inhibitions on subjects such as sex that can become strongly tabooed in specific contexts, can run very deep, regardless of how crazy or even personally destructive this may seem to those of us who know that human sexuality is not only healthy and natural, but also one of life’s greatest gifts.
If you are ever inclined to really make a concerted effort, I suggest that at first you approach the subject from very oblique and indirect angles. You could mention how human nature relates to Nature and the animal world. You could mention how attitudes are changing as people are better informed by the Internet, even though there is also plenty of misinformation in circulation.
For the sake of domestic and familial harmony, it’s best to test the waters cautiously, because it sounds like you appreciate your family. Of course, only you can decide how important it is to open up on a subject that may prove uncomfortable and even shocking to them.
Sometimes “Out of sight, out of mind” is not such a bad idea!
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
Other Articles of Interest:
Ask The Batemaster: I’m A Priest And Don’t Think Masturbation Is A Sin
