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Ask The Batemaster: I Just Want Me. Is This Normal?

I Want Me - The Bator Blog

Everything you describe about yourself, and your choices sounds marvelous and healthy to me!

QUESTION:

I’m in my late 20s, athletic, folks say I’m good looking, and I just love the bate. I don’t want sex with anyone. Don’t look at porn, take drugs or poppers. It’s just me and my penis! Only come about once or twice a week and stroke a lot daily. Come huge loads when I do come. Online, I sometimes I feel like a freak. Is this normal?

 

RESPONSE:

Everything you describe about yourself, and your choices sounds marvelous and healthy to me! Sometimes it does take a bit of courage to appreciate yourself in contrast to many assumptions that are quite common in the mainstream. For example, you mention that where you “sometimes feel like a freak” is online.

Well, many men in today’s world, especially since the advent of widespread Internet access and the proliferation of online pornography assume that male masturbation is primarily about looking at porn while you stroke your penis. My experience with this goes back long enough that I recall in the early days, much of the online porn was somewhat restricted to “pay sites,” but this has changed. Now an awful lot of explicit sexual content can be viewed totally free, without effective age-controls, and it is still one of the world’s biggest industries.

In practice, men have a wide range of different relationships with porn, just as we do with alcohol and some other recreational drugs. For many people, moderate use can be fun and no problem, for others it becomes seriously habit-forming and may not be so beneficial. There is also a reality of literal “porn addiction” that is no joke and can cause you serious problems, even to the point of social disruption and erectile dysfunction. Though some BateWorld readers may not want to hear this, it’s true. The truth of this issue is complicated!

Sometimes it does take a bit of courage to appreciate yourself in contrast to many assumptions that are quite common in the mainstream.

In contrast, I find your description of your relationship with masturbation seems wholesome and life-enhancing, not just because you are not fixated on porn. Though you do not use the current term “solosexual” to describe yourself here, in your twenties, thirties, even forties, it is natural and almost inevitable that a man has a healthy obsession with his penis and masturbation.

In fact, in today’s easily distracted realm of cell phones (often another kind of addiction!), tablets and computers, of corporate-controlled media, competitive and driven job markets, a man can get so busy you forget to take care of your own pure penis pleasure. You, and all men, certainly men over 50 as well, all deserve to enjoy as much masturbatory pleasure as you want!

There is some truth to “If you don’t use it, you lose it,” and regular use and exercise of those body parts, your penis, balls, anus, the entire pelvic region, and urogenital system are part of overall physical health and mental and emotional well-being. I know men in their 80s and 90s still enjoying masturbation often. They never stopped.

Congratulations, Brother: You are not at all weird—you sound like a wonderful man! As the saying goes, keep it up!

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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2 Comments

  1. Great question and one I’m sure many of us have asked ourselves over the years. Is what I’m doing sexually normal or ok? It’s not like we’re really given directions on how we should act when it comes to sexual pleasure. Many of us just figure it out on our own from chatting with others or from own experiences or reading about it. And our sexual interests & needs will likely change over the years as well. I know mine have.

  2. You sound as well adjusted as anyone. I have had long periods of being solosexual between relationships and have come to treasure aspects of both! No reason not to enjoy yourself NOW and often as you like – regardless of if or when your interests change.