They’re just always on my mind…
QUESTION:
I just think about penises and masturbation all the time! Almost every guy I see, good-looking or not, that’s what I really want. I mean, I want to see him naked and stroking himself. I want to be doing it with him. I study men’s crotches when I can get away with it, and I’m always wondering what their penises look like. Am I obsessed? Is this sick?
RESPONSE:
In my opinion, you are quite normal. Men vary quite a bit in terms of how much they share your kind of intense focus. Many men are distracted by a variety of other things that engage their attention. Yes, you are somewhat obsessed, but don’t think of yourself as sick. One reason for your obsession is the cultural modesty that prevails in so many places, that keeps male genitalia hidden so much of the time. Also, masturbation remains a largely private activity. There are also legal parameters for exposing nudity and displays of sexual activity.
The primary way you differ from some men in this regard is to speak of this so openly. No doubt many men share your obsession, but the subject is not easy to study. When a poll is taken, like anything dealing with sex an intimacy, the accuracy of the poll should be taken with a grain of salt. Even in so-called “private” interviews as some researchers conduct, this is a difficult area of study. There is a lot of internalized inhibition about honesty concerning all matters sexual, which compromises the responders’ ability to answer honestly.
It must be more accurate to consider “sick” those social and cultural attitudes that inhibit so many men from a healthy and natural curiosity about other men’s bodies.
Most men probably share your obsession to some degree. Still, men do vary quite a lot in terms of how intense their sex drive is, sometimes called your “libido.” For some men, the libido can be so intense that it is considered sexual compulsion. This only becomes a problem when the obsession actively interferes with other parts of your life, such as friendships, relationships, your work and other non-sexual recreational activities. These are matters you might try to consider honestly with yourself.
This only becomes a problem when the obsession actively interferes with other parts of your life, such as friendships, relationships, your work and other non-sexual recreational activities.
At the same time, to simply have such fascination in mind a lot of the time is nothing unusual for a man. However, your constant urge to see men naked and masturbating and to do it with them may mean you are sexually frustrated. One great option is to fully embrace your own self-pleasure.
Focus on yourself. Give yourself as much high-quality masturbatory pleasure as you can possibly want. Use deep breathing, relaxation, and keep your attention on your own body, your own penis, your own sensations. Practice, practice, practice! It’s worth a try!
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
Similar Articles of Interest
I love your reply! I feel pretty much the same as the questioner. I too have an intense desire to see most men’s penises, and to see them masturbate and to do it with them. Your reply put this into focus for me, to understand where these feelings come from, and how to cope with them. Sometimes the desire is so strong, it can feel overwhelming. I don’t quite know why I am so into men and their bodies, but I know I’ll never have an answer to that one. All I can do is realize that I find men massively attractive, and when I have the opportunity to actually see a man naked, and to touch all his parts, I will just enjoy it.
While most of the men on here can relate to this on some level, I do think some of us are particularly enthralled by penises and/or masturbation. For me, masturbation is something that has excited me from the moment I discovered it 40 years ago. I know that some men even on this site wouldn’t understand my endless fascination with it, and my strong desire to enjoy it for hours daily.
Bruce has shared in his books and elsewhere his personal journey and discovery of becoming what he eventually called a mindful masturbator. During his discovery period, he talks about a 6 week journey of devotion to extensive daily masturbation training lasting for hours a day with no ejaculation.
I went through this process myself about 12 years ago, and it was life altering. The difference for me, is that unlike others, I never wanted to go back to my old life. Instead, I have built my life around my solosexual lifestyle. I still love it as much or more than I did that first Saturday back in the Spring of ’10 when I first ventured into the wave after wave of pleasure. All I remember is eventually becoming aware of my extreme need for water (I was an unprepared beginner!) and realizing it had become dark outside despite the fact that I started in broad daylight. I knew right then I wanted to experience that again and again for the rest of my days!