I’m still struggling with the urge to ejaculate after maybe just 10 or 15 minutes of stroking, at most.

QUESTION:

I’m still struggling with the urge to ejaculate after maybe just 10 or 15 minutes of stroking, at most. I know the edge or semen retention must be great. I do manage to go a bit longer sometimes, but it’s not easy for me.  In fact, I find it extremely hard to resist coming, once I reach a certain level. How can I get there, to go on and on, like I see you and some other men doing?

RESPONSE:

The wish to enhance your bate by enjoying it longer is excellent! Lasting longer, as long as you really want—to make ejaculation a choice—really is one of the best ways to enjoy your masturbation sessions more than ever before!

One reason this challenge of learning to prolong your stroking can prove difficult is self-conditioning. During our teens, most of us get into a pretty fixed masturbation routine during those amazing years when our genitals are first mature into adult equipment and provide unprecedented sensations of bliss and oblivion. It’s a major, enthralling revelation to a boy in puberty how powerful the pure penis pleasure can be!

Many guys begin to masturbate a great deal around this time, sometimes repeatedly each day. This sweet repetition becomes behavioral reinforcement of the pattern of activity that gets really tricky to alter later on. It is not unlike an addiction problem, in that you may never break out of the habitual pattern unless you make a conscious decision to try something different.

Though I understand why some men proudly proclaim themselves to be “masturbation addicts,” as it is actually a natural and healthy obsession to enjoy it a great deal, the term “addiction” has too many negative associations for me to feel comfortable with that label. Male masturbation IS natural and healthy, in fact, it’s beneficial! So, let me offer some suggestions… 

Start with deep breathing, keep the focus on yourself, keep relaxed. Pay close attention to your level of arousal. Imagine your level of arousal on a scale from 1-to-10, with 9 considered to be ejaculation. Work to spread the sensations outward from your penis and your pelvis into your entire body. Stimulate other sensitive places such as nipples, inner wrist, ears, armpits, behind your knees, calves, ankles, arches of your feet and the webs between your toes. Keep checking where your arousal is. If it’s up past about 8, take care to slow down, breathe deeply again, even pause. I sometimes shake out my hands, as if they have accumulated a charge, and who knows? Maybe they have! Or roll your head on your neck slowly side-to-side.

Take your time, slow down.

Let your erection subside a bit, just chill, close your eyes. Smile to yourself before you resume stimulating yourself with further touch. Don’t focus on having a full erection all the time—let it wax and wane. Take your time, slow down, remind yourself often: I can do this—it’s entirely up to me!  

Mild distractions can help. Use both hands, switch hands, change positions, consciously employ a variety of different strokes. Never hesitate to take a pee break, if you need to go. These are just a few of a host of tactics to help you make ejaculation a choice. 

Here are further ways to prolong your bate sessions

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.