QUESTION: I was having an incredible session, astride the thighs of a buddy, facing him with our hairy balls together, thick shafts together, shiny dickheads together, all lubed up in his hands, grinding them slowly together. But I let out a huge, stinky fart. I had no warning—it just happened. I apologized right away, but then it happened a second time! My bud said he understood, but he was obviously disgusted. How can I prevent this in future?
RESPONSE: Your embarrassment is understandable—but so is the fact that such things are bound to happen now and then. It may have to do with what you ate recently, which might increase flatulence: the obvious beans, sometimes fruit on top of proteins, or just something you don’t digest well, like dairy. Different foods can be especially gassy for different people. However, ahead of time you might consider doing a few Yoga poses that compress you lower abdomen, or even some vigorous jumping jacks, to expel immanent flatulence! Fold yourself forward over a forearm.
Maybe more important is to pay attention. Communicate honestly and accept that sometimes such things can happen despite our best efforts to prevent them. Part of being animals (which humans are!) is to accept certain odors, and bodily emanations that come with the territory. Likewise, bator buds ought to be more understanding than some folks you know, about such sounds and smells that could be deemed impolite in overly-proper company.
In my experience, farts affect people in a range of ways: some people seem offended, others simply laugh as they might have done in childhood, others pretty much ignore farts or shrug them off as unimportant. Of course, it would definitely seem impolite or inconsiderate if the fart was deliberate, but you cannot totally control how someone reacts, unless you have communicated about this ahead of time. If you are especially prone to “passing wind,” (the over-polite term for this natural function) then you might avoid such embarrassment by paving the way, saying, “I’ve been sort of gassy recently, but I’ll do my best to control it.”
During the kind of erotic massages taught by the Body Electric School, when men are trained to perform genital massage on other men, and also to receive such genital massage, a really smart practice has been developed to prevent any shame or humiliation in such situations. A new tradition was created to that any time a man farts, instead of shaming him in any way, the other man or men are encouraged to light-heartedly say, “Thank you!” At most, this leads to chuckles.
Now that’s really the height of civilized tolerance for such experiences that are sometimes inevitable aspects of living in a human body. Consider how our embarrassment and the shame associated are really culturally learned. Though the smell might be unpleasant, if such a thing happens accidentally, why should it be a big deal?
If you are a chronic farter, it’s probably best to forewarn any partners in masturbatory togetherness. Otherwise, as I said, try to expel gas ahead of time, even note what foods make you gassy, and then put a bit of special effort into NOT farting.
Still, too much effort of that kind could easily prove distracting from the natural and fantastic pleasures of sharing pure penis pleasure with your fellow men—one of life’s greatest joys!
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your body or sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
LOL. Though understanding, I’d never say ‘thank you’ for a fart. Sorry, but I can’t… especially if it’s a stinky one.
One must be cool about it because it can happen to any of us, but if you farted once, don’t do it twice, please.
Side note: during anal sex, it’s hot to hear the asshole farting while the cock is being shoved inside… we know it’s air and not stinky gas.
I’d advise the asker to seek a nutritionist and control what he eats.
Understandable reactions, though what causes flatulence for one person in terms of diet, may not cause it for another person. The point of saying “thank you” is purely to reduce self-consciousness and embarrassment, via a deliberate courtesy, as unexpected and uncontrollable farts can happen to anyone, of course! — BPG
Your bud should understand this is human and can happen to any of us !
I’ve always had people encouraging me to fart when I bate. I find it extremely liberating especially when I finally shoot my load and squirt it, I usually fart at the same time.