“I’m not sure we completely control anything, but we can develop greater skill at navigating our experience!”

QUESTION:

In the past, when I was with someone sexually, I got so excited it was hard not to come almost immediately. Since I have learned your Mindful Masturbation practice, now I can even do cock2cock frot with guys (that’s my favorite turn on!) for a long, long time. Have you heard this kind of thing before?

RESPONSE:

Keep in mind that the level of your arousal registers in your brain centers, even as the pleasure-receptor nerves in your penis are being stimulated. Erotic stimulation continually fires messages through your nervous system, along your spine into your brain. Because the arousal level is registered in and monitored by your mind through this process, to train yourself in Mindful Masturbation helps you gain some control over ejaculation.

I prefer to say that it helps you to make ejaculation a choice. Otherwise, arousal may simply build suddenly, overwhelm you and happen whether you are ready or not! Until I was in my early forties, I was never able to enjoy pure penis pleasure for as long as I wanted it to last. The term “control” is a bit rigid, and I’m not sure we completely control anything, but we can develop greater skill at navigating our experience!

Slow down!

What I teach that helps men to make ejaculation a choice is first and foremost: Slow down! Learn to breathe deeply, just as you learn in almost every training, whether it is sports, singing, Yoga, meditation, or simple relaxation. Breathe deeply and keep relaxed during your arousal. You get erections in association with the nervous system function called “the relaxation response.” This is the opposite of the stressed out “fight or flight response.”

Awareness

Combine this with awareness that you don’t need to have a full erection all the time while you masturbate. Add in a variety of strokes. Yes, simply slow down your strokes, allow your sessions to grow longer, more relaxed. Let your ecstatic sensations build gradually higher and higher. Consider this growing, increasing arousal a gradual ascent climbing plateau-to-plateau, rather than a faster goal-oriented climb like a mountain ascent!

Even when you do choose to ejaculate, it’s also rewarding to learn to enjoy as much pleasure as you wish to have before it happens. This was the revolutionary breakthrough I experienced in my own personal masturbation practice back in 1995, which changed my life and launched my career as an erotic activist.

Even when you do choose to ejaculate, it’s also rewarding to learn to enjoy as much pleasure as you wish to have before it happens.

To explicitly respond to your question: Yes! Many men in my experience tell me that once they really caught on to how to masturbate mindfully, not focused on porn or fantasy, but paying full and complete attention to their own body, helps them to avoid premature ejaculation when they are with someone else in an aroused state. You develop greater and greater erotic skill.

The same things do not necessarily work the same way for different people, but we all have the same basic human design. Most men not only love to masturbate but can learn to masturbate with far greater skill than ever before, if they wish to!

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.

Related Articles of Interest:

Ask The Batemaster: Semen Retention & When To Ejaculate

Ask The Batemaster: Semen Retention Forever

Ask The Batemaster: Why Consider Semen Retention?

For even more articles of Semen Retention (Control), click here.

The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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