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Ask The Batemaster: Bromance Troubles

My “straight” bud and I have a kind of real bromance going, and do an awful lot of stuff together, but…

 

QUESTION:

My “straight” bud and I have a kind of real bromance going, and do an awful lot of stuff together, including sports, swimming, hiking. We also bate together, even kiss while we do it, pinch nips, and bate each other’s cocks. But pretty often he wants to put on pussy porn, which turns me off. I even start to lose my hardon. What can I do?

 

RESPONSE:

Your situation is one a lot of guys might envy, regardless of how they identify sexually. The companionship itself is clearly rewarding for both of you. Plus, the mutual masturbation, kissing and all, is great male bonding.

It sounds to me like you’ve got a lot to lose, if you don’t handle this carefully, especially to think of this from your friend’s viewpoint. Though it sounds like he’s pretty eager to share the bate with you, the pussy porn may provide him just a slight “buffer,” for his own self-image so that he feels like masturbating with you is less of a threat to his masculine self-image. 

It’s also possible that it really helps him as bate fuel to watch some more heterosexually oriented porn to stimulate him. I suggest you accept this for now, as generously as you can, like the saying goes: “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” That means, if someone wants to give you a free horse, don’t try too hard to examine it to determine its age. If you want a horse, just be grateful and take good care of it.

From your own viewpoint, possibly you can keep your focus on your friend and his body, his penis, even if some of his attention splits off to the porn. Or you might even be able to just tell him that you’re not so turned on by the porn as you are by actually masturbating with him. A compromise might be to turn off any sound, so it’s easier for you to ignore the porn. You will need to gauge for yourself what to ask for, because only you have any idea of how he will react. 

No doubt the activity of masturbating together is something you both really enjoy as part of your bromance, or you would not both be doing it. Still, you did not specify if you consider yourself gay or bisexual, and whether or not he really knows this much about you. 

So, I can only suggest you do your best to either ignore the kind of porn that turns you off, out of respect and caring for your friend who apparently likes it, or who may want to use it as a “shield” to feel less “gay” about the whole thing. Or try to decide how open you can be about your reaction. Possibly he would be willing to not watch porn of any kind, to just enjoy your Phallic Brotherhood as part of the bromance between you. 

I’d also say: Count your blessings!

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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