QUESTION:
What’s the longest you’ve gone uncummed while still regularly edging? What are the rewards and benefits of prolonged cum denial?
RESPONSE:
Honestly, I don’t generally keep track of how long it’s been since I ejaculated. I’m not one of those who tabulates the days, as some “edgers” do, and I don’t call my practice edging. I call it Mindful Masturbation and Male Erotic Alchemy, and the latter does involve cultivating erotic energy via self-pleasure for longer periods than a few days. Some men cannot imagine going more than a day without ejaculation, a habit that can be difficult to break.
Probably the longest I have gone is many months, not likely more than a full year. For however fantastic ejaculatory orgasm feels, there is territory far beyond it that you cannot experience when you ejaculate often. In truth, I have nothing against ejaculation, but in most cases, it is not the goal of pleasure for me, but the end of it, at least temporarily.
One issue men often deal with when going for longer periods of masturbating, but not ejaculating, is commonly called “blue balls.” Your testes and scrotum may become extremely sensitive, and some men even report a blue-ish color there. This is mainly caused by muscle tension, those muscles associated with the scrotum that tighten it up and pull your balls up to the base of your shaft when you are in high arousal for long enough.
The first time I went quite long without ejaculation was when I first discovered what I later gave the name Mindful Masturbation. By breathing deeply, and keeping relaxed instead of tensing up my muscles, I was able to go for hours in high arousal. I did this for the first time, every day for six weeks. It changed me forever. I did not become perfect, but my focus remained so positive overall, that a lot of my old habits of poor self-esteem evaporated due to neglect. It takes a lot of our energy to be unhappy, and making yourself happy gives you energy!
The rewards and benefits are increased energy and focus, while feeling calmer and more serene, with less emotional mood swings.
I learned that to literally keep the erotic energy in my body is transformational. Now, over twenty years later, with my cohort Russell, AKA Dragon Puppy III, we host a monthly Full Moon Guided Group Session. Men are invited to ejaculate at the end of these sessions if you wish to!
The belief that regular ejaculation is necessary to prostate health and cancer prevention is not actually verified at all by studies, as the statistics cited are small numbers. Doctors now advocate this belief to encourage sane attitudes towards masturbation, but it’s far from proven. On the other hand, no studies at all have been done of skilled men who retain semen. Masturbate Mindfully and creatively, and your prostate gets exercised, and you can stay healthy.
In my Phallic Brotherhood Mission, I seek to be “ejaculation friendly” for those guys who can’t or don’t want to resist more frequent ejaculation. At the same time, I encourage all men to consider exploring the options beyond.
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at BateWorld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
I have to respectfully disagree, although I’ve always maintained that when it comes to masturbation and other forms of sexual pleasure, there really are “no rules,” other than not physically harming yourself or one another, and of course, practicing safe sex.
Ever since I was first introduced to masturbation 62 years ago, ejaculation has always been the “reward” at the end, however short or long the session is. And of course, being a passionate masturbator, I’ve learned to “edge” and prolong my pleasure and beautiful state of mind, but I’ve never seen any “benefit” in denying myself an ejaculation.
That said, I will honestly admit that if I HAVE to go without a good cum for a period of time (and that’s usually only because of various personal scheduling issues), ejaculations/orgasms are always better when you’re “hungry.” I’ve frequently compared this to eating prime rib. I love red meat. When I can afford it. But I simply can’t imagine eating it every day for an extended period. “Hunger” makes everything better.
But denying myself a good cum? No. Sorry.
As Bruce notes above, after hearing the experiences of men who practice both regular ejaculation and semen retention as well as my own experience, my conclusion is that, as with preferences of any kind, it ends up being a matter of personal preference. Like Bruce, I find that there definitely is territory beyond the practice of regular ejaculation. For most of my life I pretty much “beat off to get off” and that was it. Discovering edging changed my whole perspective on masturbation as well as my relationship with my own body, penis, and other men. Mindful Masturbation doesn’t begin to fully describe the experiences and spaces to which I was introduced and entered amidst long edges which often became “goons” where the rational mind moves into abeyance as I moved into a more basic, non-cognitive, instinctual level of consciousness and experience.
Then, my masturbation practice slid into my my natural inclination toward the spiritual and expansion of consciousness as a paradigm and container. Listening to sacred music, chanting, nonsense syllables, and even singing can raise my experience to stratospheric levels .
Of course, it is possible to experience everything I describe above and still ejaculate at the end or at some point during a bate session. Many believe and experience a heightening of erotic energy throughout the body when amidst a long run of semen retention. I’ve compared some of these states to the description of many Tantric practices. This is a rich and fertile area of inquiry which I appreciate.
It’s all about the journey and less and less about the ejaculation for me. My cock needs time in my hand and edging is the way. It’s a great way to get time in when you don’t have time for the mess.
This was really interesting to read. I am currently in a phase that I am finding myself enjoying the tension, as you describe it, more than the act of ejaculating itself.
I am feeling a certain kind of energy flow, is like my brain is more active, not only sexually but in general.
I love the prolonged, “horny” feeling, it feels great to carry that through the day.
And the more I withhold ejaculating, the more I find that my body responds well to it.
In the beginning my balls used to swell and hurt, but now they just play along.
I am planning on continuing and see where it gets me.
Again, thanks for the article.
I suffer from POIS (which really sucks), so as much as I love masturbation, I try to avoid orgasm as much as I can. It doesn’t mean I don’t mastubate every couple of days. But many times when I masturbate, I edge for hours and ejaculate most of the times, but without reaching an orgasm. It’s extremely pleasurable (you feel like you’re peeing semen so to speak) and by doing so, I don’t feel the negative effects bating has on me as much as I do when I masturbate until orgasm. Last year I wanted to feel what it was like not to cum for long periods of time and so I spent 3 months without masturbating, 2 of which I lasted without ejaculating (I had a wet dream after the first 60 days), and I felt incredibly energetic and in an awesome mood at all times, performed better at work and felt great when socializing. I went on as much as I could without cumming cos I didn’t want to lose that, and after 3 months I starting bating again, but every 2 or 3 weeks, because then I would cum several thick ropes of semen and the pleasure is more intense. So I can understand much of what you’re talking about. Loved your article.
I suffer from POIS (which really sucks), so as much as I love masturbation, I try to avoid orgasm as much as I can. It doesn’t mean I don’t mastubate every couple of days. But many times when I masturbate, I edge for hours and ejaculate most of the times, but without reaching an orgasm. It’s extremely pleasurable (you feel like you’re peeing semen so to speak) and by doing so, I don’t feel the negative effects bating has on me as much as I do when I masturbate until orgasm. Last year I wanted to feel what it was like not to cum for long periods of time and so I spent 3 months without masturbating, 2 of which I lasted without ejaculating (I had a wet dream after the first 60 days), and I felt incredibly energetic and in an awesome mood at all times, performed better at work and felt great when socializing. I went on as much as I could without cumming cos I didn’t want to lose that, and after 3 months I started bating again every 2 or 3 weeks, because then the pleasure I feel after that many days is way more intense and I cum several thick ropes of semen. Currently I just masturbate every 2 or 3 days (or sometimes everyday) and I ejaculate several times without orgasming but every once a week I actually masturbate and orgasm. Whoever is reading this that hasn’t heard of POIS before, they can Google it cause I don’t feel like going very much into detail on how masturbation affects me, but hey, great article! I pretty much understand your point.
I understand completely what Bruce is saying and I understand Johns view too. I guess it is up to each individual. In my opinion holding off ejaculating is harder for a younger man than an older man. Mindful masturbation is wonderful but it takes great practice, patience and dedication not to give in and ejaculate each time you masturbate. For me being a man in John’s age group it is easier to go long periods of time without ejaculating. I can go three weeks or longer so I guess I am retaining semen. I go with how my body feels. After 3 weeks my dick tells me it is ready to ejaculate just by the feeling in it while it is flaccid. I feel urges and sensations in it without being hard. It is also very easy to get a semi without trying. I like walking around with these masculine feelings for days. But soon my dick gets a little more persuasive and it won’t leave me alone. That is when I say it’s time. So I get relaxed and enjoy a nice bate session with the intent to ejaculate. Man, after 3 to 4 weeks of not releasing it feels awesome when you do. I don’t worry about edging, I am ready to shoot. Sometimes it is a ton and sometimes not but it always feels amazing. Then the process has to start over. I like quality over quantity when it comes to ejaculating. You go three or four weeks and you are going to experience an awesome orgasm. It is well worth the wait. I wish I could bottle that amazing feeling in my dick and enjoy it anytime I liked but then it would not be special any more.
This post and subsequent responses have been great to read. One or two other folks mentioned intention which resonated with me. I’m far more intentional with masturbation the older I get. My mindset is key before any bate session. I have to tap into what my body, libido, and soul are craving. For example, am I in need of a quickie release OR am I wanting to tap into all of the energy I’m feeling and edge without ejaculating… OR maybe I’m somewhere in between so I edge for an hour or two with an intense orgasm and ejaculation.
In the moments I want to cultivate all of the sexual and orgasmic energy flowing through my body, I prefer not to ejaculate and go days without ejaculating. This is the space where mind-body-soul start to merge for me. It’s also the space I want to explore more, really tap into, and develop more discipline and focus. It’s led me to embrace the space in my life where spirituality, sex, and the body converge.
The beauty is there’s no right or wrong answer for me. Rather, how do I more fully tune into what my body is desiring? And how can I continue to introduce my body to new ways of experiencing pleasure.
Excuse my practically repeated comment… I thought there has been an error and posted it twice with a slight variation…
I’ve learned a lot from Bruce and other teachers over the last 30 years and now practice multiple dry orgasmic masturbation – goal is several sets of 20 -30 dry orgasms a day. I ejaculate about once a month so the ratio of dry to wet orgasms is about 1500:1 for me. This works well to energize my 80 year old body with healing and pleasurable erotic charge. I began to be aware of the benefits managing my ejaculations about 30 years ago when I started doing Body Electric workshops. I noticed that after an ejaculation it took a day or two to recharge. Now that’s more like a week! Life is better when I’m horny!
A couple of years ago I went 8 months without an ejaculation, the result of Lupron therapy to eliminate testosterone in my body while I was being (successfully) treated for a small prostate cancer. I stopped bating after the first week – and had no hardons. It was a peaceful and otherwise productive time, but I’m so glad to be back bating and charging my body with erotic energy!