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Ask The Batemaster: Doctor’s Exam Ethics

For many people the “physical exam” by a doctor is a loaded erotic scenario.

QUESTION: At my yearly physical, with my trousers down on the table, I got an erection. The rather attractive doc said no worries, it was natural. But I said I’d feel better if I could see his. Couldn’t believe it, because he laughed, and whipped his out, semi-hard! He smiled, put it away, and nothing more happened. Did he do something wrong? Did I? You’re probably laughing now…

RESPONSE: Well, the situation you describe does sound a bit like some porn videos I’ve seen, though porn can be inspired by real situations, even when it is often not very realistic. If this really happened it was unusual at the point where the doctor amiably agreed to let you see his penis and showed you his, since he had seen yours. In professional terms, what he did definitely violates medical ethics. In human terms, if the entire story is true and that’s all that happened, it’s really no big deal, just a nice adventure for you.

Life cannot be truly lived with too much caution. I cannot advocate what the doctor did, though if it truly was your request, how can I condemn it either?

For many people the “physical exam” by a doctor is a loaded erotic scenario. That’s the reason why children’s sex play is often spoke of by the code terms “playing doctor.” To be honest, I’m not laughing at this point, but I am smiling! Plus, we humans can take ourselves way too seriously; we can be overly sensitive on the subjects of nakedness and arousal.

In our daily lives, most of us feel compelled to compartmentalize some aspects of our behavior and practices, as there are so many social parameters, protocols, and taboos. It can actually be a great relief and a Giant Step towards self-honesty, as well as honesty with others to talk openly about our bodies, our enjoyment of masturbation, and even allow these precious aspects of ourselves to be seen. Bateworld provides a safer context for such communications and experiences than a doctor’s office, or most other places “in the world” out beyond your most private personal space.

Your story is the kind of thing many men probably fantasize about, though the outcome in a fantasy version might be quite different, or if it was, indeed, a porn shoot! Count yourself lucky and enjoy the fond memory of it—unless, of course, you end up meeting the doctor in some other context and things move in a different direction…

All things considered, I don’t think either you or the doc did anything truly wrong (despite the “medical ethics violation”), especially since it was consensual in both directions, and clearly happened in the privacy of the exam room.

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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14 Comments

  1. Great topic as this has been my hang up with masturbation since my pre-teen years. I know I am not the only one out there that popped wood in front of the doctor. It brings the idea of fantasy a step forward to reality. Oh damn!

    1. Yes, I understand, Brother! The I was first asked this question, I wondered if it was a fantasy, more than an actual event. Still, it’s not so far beyond common experience or entirely implausible–the big surprise to me was the doc’s cooperation! Regardless, it brings up some worthwhile matters for discussion. — BPG

  2. I used to go to a gay doctor (but not the least but attractive). Never any penis comments though when he checked my balks, he would say “let’s check the boys”, but a straight doctor might say that too.
    I did always joke with him for the recital exam to “go easy, I’m not a bottom” and one time he just casually said “you just need to learn the right way to relax” but not while he was examining me, more as a helpful hint. Almost TOO professional, but I guess gay docs know people will talk about this stuff and have to be extra careful.

    1. Thanks for your comments. Indeed, whether the doctor is gay or not should not have any effect on what ought to be a purely professional situation. At the same time, to expect it to be in humanly clinical is a bit bizarre, and perhaps these days part of our rather overly assembly line medical system. The personal touch of knowing your physician well enough to truly trust him or her, is usually lost these days. — BPG

  3. So I have always been so conscious of this that whenever I see the doctor I freeze and never get a hard-on.

    I live in Paris and went to a local hospital about 2 months ago as I had swelling on the left hand side of my penis (nothing bad in the end though it freaked me out)… I told him I was embarrassed to tell him and said I’m sure he had heard way worse.. that had no idea why it happened, that I had been masturbating for an hour and a half and had used a Fleshlight.
    He replied pretty non-chalantly, “this is nothing- I have had tons of guys with cockrings that we had to use pliers to cut off… sounding damages, inverted ejaculations”…
    The thing was that the urologist was 6’4, smoking hot and I swear really enjoyed touching my cock, flipping it back from one side to the other.. at which point I started to get hard. Then he told me “it looks good, you can put your pants back on. Just go easy on the masturbating”… (!!!)

    I really wanted to schedule a follow-up appointment LOL but didn’t…

    1. Interesting story, Brother, and the mention of cock-rings is significant. They can be useful when a guy wants to keep his erection a bit longer, but some caution and moderation are wise. I prefer to let my erection come and go naturally. To leave a cock-ring on too long, more than 1/2 hour or so at a time, or using too tight a ring can cause actual damage to your genitals, by forcibly preventing the healthy flow of blood. A “natural erection” traps extra blood in the penis, but there is still flow of blood in and out keeping the tissues of this precious organ healthy. Personally I don’t like or use cock-rings, but they can be used safely with some care. Actually I’m not a fan of anything that forcibly prevents natural blood flow. The tall, handsome doctor? What can I say, but “Alas!” — BPG

        1. You are right, Brother! I just slipped in my little sermonette on safe use of cock-rings, about which I am perhaps a bit of an old-fashioned fuddy-duddy! I like to say there are no rules in the realm of male masturbation except: “Don’t harm yourself, and don’t harm anyone else!” — BPG

  4. I once had a huge scar on my inner thigh. A cute young doc with dark hair and blue eyes recommended a steroid injection to repair the skin tissue. There I was in flimsy boxer briefs lying on his table. As he slowly inserted the needle into the scar I sucked in my breath, prompting him to put me at ease by saying the pain wouldn’t last long. Of course his sexy voice and big hands and arms moving around down there got me excited. He finally withdrew the needle and started to compress and massage the area to work the steroid in and the back of his hand stroked my ballzac which was at the edge of my briefs. I went ‘Ummmmph’ but unfortunately he finished up and sent me on my way. Over time the scar went away but I kept wishing more had happened.

    1. Mm! Nice experience, and it sounds a bit frustrating that it had to happen in a professional medical context… and of course a different ending to the experience forms a pretty common kind of fantasy scenario. Doubtless in reality there are plenty of handsome doctors and handsome patients who end up frustrating each other, lacking off from what they might wish could happen. Then, doubtless there are case where “Medical ethics be damned!” and something more thrilling DOES happen… — BPG

  5. Why doctor story: When I was in college and trying to make peace with my curved down hypospadias cock, I was referred to a urologist, who basically jacked me hard while “examining” my equipment and then opined that I had nothing to worry about since I had a nice big cock that would be able to perform all its cocky duties. Of course, I’d said nothing about my gay feelings it was in the early 1960’s) , but his prediction certainly came true once I came out!

    1. Now here IS a story with more of a “happy ending” than some, though it doesn’t sound like the doc actually jacked you to climax, he apparently exercised your equipment somewhat. Plus, your personal outcome, becoming a champion masturbator among other fine accomplishments is certainly a life well-lived, Brother! — BPG

  6. I am 25 years old and I went to my new doctor last month…..the nurse took me into the exam room….she told me to take everything off and put on the exam gown….I did that…when the dr came in, wow, tall and very good looking, I started to get hard. After he took my BP and checked my eyes, ears, nose, throat…he told me to take off the gown, I saw his eyes go down to my cock.. He just smiled and said…you must workout a lot u have great pecs and abs. I found that odd. Cut to the chase…while he was examing my testicles I got hard….he said,,,damn u r very healthy….I started to leak pre, which I always do when I get hard. He examined my testicles for a long time and he also examined my penis…..I was rock hard. I think he was getting hard, too. I never had my genitals examined so thoroughly and for so long before. I enjoyed every minute of it. A couple of weeks later I went to my gym and there he was in the locker room getting undressed…I said hi..remember me…he said he sure did. Damn, when he got naked….hot bod…and he was as hung as I was. We worked out together and afterwards in the locker room we both went into the jacuzzi….after a while I felt his hand on my thigh…I smiled and he went for it. We are now friends…very good friends!!!