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Ask The Batemaster: Younger Bate Buddies Want To Call Me Daddy

Many younger men really appreciate a more mature (read: older) mentor in masturbation.

QUESTION: I’m in my 50s, but in shape, though there’s white in the middle of my beard. I love to bate on cam with guys all ages, and a lot of younger guys like me, maybe because I’m so nice? Some want to call me “Dad” or “Daddy” and ask me to call them “Son.” It’s not incest role-play, just friendly and warm. Is this okay?

RESPONSE: Sure! Truth is, in my Mindful Masturbation coaching I get similar requests quite often. It’s not something I suggest or ask for. I’m also not into role-playing, though I’m not judging that’s necessarily bad at all, it’s just not what I’m into. “Mindful” tends to mean being present in what’s actually going on, not pretending something else is going on.

Then again, I’m older than you, and technically in terms of years, I could be the grandfather of some of the young men I coach (always 18+ at least!). My interest in them is basically the same as with any man of any age. I sincerely want to encourage all the men I work with, including readers of these blog posts, to enjoy masturbation better than ever! And the requests you get are doubtless tied to a number of things: yes, being “nice,” though some people like bate buddies to at least pretend to be tough. Also being fit and bearded, may add to your appeal as a sort of ideal “daddy type” guy.

Though it really isn’t all about looks, by any means, in my experience an attitude of enthusiasm and appreciation for the power of the penis during devoted masturbation sessions makes any man more attractive, than if he’s jaded and just going through the motions.

My experience also tells me that many younger men really appreciate a more mature (read: older) mentor in masturbation. Older guys can both share arousal and perhaps offer some bits of insight, even suggestions based on longer experience, which can enhance masturbatory pleasure. In this sense, letting these younger guys call you by paternal endearments, and being willing to call them “Son” in a warm-hearted and encouraging way maintains a tone of caring, and sharing from your more experienced perspective.

Whatever fantasies these young men, or you yourself may actually harbor, is of course your own business and probably relates to personal history and psychology. Be aware that I feel every moment men spend actually bate camming one-on-one, (or possibly more at a time) in an encouraging, mutually stimulating and supportive way does its tiny bit to improve the human world!

Good for those guys for asking and good for you for cooperating!

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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4 Comments

  1. As older bator I”ve been getting those comments or requests as well. I gently let them know I’m not the dad type but I’m happy to chat and help guide/coach them (off) along as a mature, experienced masturbator and offer them tips & techniques. And to share the experience with them via skype.

    1. Hi aopalmer5! I think it’s fine for us more “mature” bators to respond however we’re comfortable with, just so we’re kind and somewhat sensitive to how we may affect the feelings of the younger guy. As I”ve said, I’m not really into role play… but it seems harmless to me to indulge in how someone likes to label me or be labelled, as long as those terms don’t make ME uncomfortable! Peace, Bruce

  2. I wonder if one of the reasons that younger men want to bate with me sometimes is safety – that sharing the bate is what we’re doing and not a preliminary to other possible sexual activities or relationships, which can be safely off the table.

    1. Yes, Brother fullmoonma: This is another things to consider. Truth is, I do get “propositions” pretty often from guys of various ages, myself. I’m flattered, and I know it’s partly just my “notoriety” in this kind of community, that I’m so “out there” about sharing my photos and videos. In most cases it’s probably not all that serious, and as you mention maybe fells “safer” to younger guys, considering my age and who I am. Peace, Bruce