Skip to content

Follow us on:

Home » Ask The Batemaster » Ask The Batemaster: Why Are Hook-up Apps Such A Challenge?

Ask The Batemaster

Ask The Batemaster: Why Are Hook-up Apps Such A Challenge?

Hook-up Apps - ATBM - TBB

QUESTION:

I’ve been using some hook-up apps to try to get bate buddies. I’ve met at least half a dozen in person, but they always want to go places I don’t want to go sexually. How can I just get what I want? Shouldn’t it be simple? Why is this such a challenge?

RESPONSE:

This challenge is common for many who discover how marvelous solosexuality can be and then find it preferable to other forms of sexual interaction. By keeping a focus on self-pleasure and possibly its variations, such as mutual masturbation and cock2cock rubbing of erections together, some kinds of competition, self-judgment, and power imbalances may be avoided.

Among dedicated masturbators, it is possible to maintain a focus of encouragement, acceptance, and genuine camaraderie or brotherhood. Mutual respect for the other guy’s preferences and expectations makes all the difference. To bypass the ego-games common in other forms of sexual encounters, can be delightful and empowering. This focus allows you and those you share it with to reach ever-higher levels of erotic bliss.

To “just get what you want,” do your best to be exceedingly clear about precisely what you want—list the parameters, and boundaries you seek during encounters. No need to justify or explain; just state exactly what you want. Be exact, but also express understanding that this is not what everyone seeks. Part of the issue you face is that the kind of “dating” or “hookup” apps, pages, and groups that exist are, by their nature, geared towards all sorts of practices beyond what you seek. 

 

“No need to justify or explain; just state exactly what you want. Be exact, but also express understanding that this is not what everyone seeks.”

 

“Should” usually refers to something that does not exist or isn’t likely. Whether or not the search and what you want “should” be simple, due to the existing structures, expectations, and conditioning by porn scenarios, it is not as simple as you wish for.

The reason for this is, in fact, plural: a complex of reasons. A major overarching challenge is strong conditioning that leads to people expecting certain scenarios, often quite different from what you seek. However, on a planet of 8 billion or more people, no doubt there are plenty who might align with what you seek. Keep looking for alternate places to list your requests.

Thank goodness for the Internet and those apps, which can be frustrating. With patience, persistence, and total clarity on your part in stating your intentions, your search may eventually lead you to your reward.

Blessings on you, brother, for you are far from alone in what you seek!

BateWorld is the perfect alternative to those apps, not just for avoiding any miscommunication about your desires; it goes without saying. From one masturbator to another, it’s typically already known.

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at BateWorld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

Related Posts

Leave A Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

7 Comments

  1. It’s never “simple,” although some times you can get lucky.
    Speaking as a bi male who’s had a lot of experience trying to find other hetero couples with whom we can share sex, the first step is that you hope people were honest in describing themselves and their desires. The second step is that you have to simply meet at some neutral location (coffee, a beer, dinner, whatever) and discuss what it is you’re looking for. And of course that gives you the opportunity to better view the person, physically. It’s an interview process, nothing less.

    If you’ve ever been involved in trying to select an applicant for a job, then you know how difficult the process can be. And as I said, some times you can get it right on the first shot. But not often.

  2. If had some success in the past with popular social-networking-for-cock sites finding men to share erotic touch and energy with. My approach is to offer free erotic massages, with the option of exchanges that is frequently accepted. It’s a good way to bypass those awkward getting to know you conversations, and get to know each other by sharing touch and energy. That got frustrated by the epidemic, and hasn’t really picked up since then, but that may be because most younger men find it hard to believe they can receive pleasure with someone of my 80 years! Still the strategy of offering to give instead of focusing on what you want to receive seems sound.

  3. I’m always hard n touching myself, thinking about dick. Love to bate. Texan here, close enough to Dallas to drive in to the abs. Always looking too