QUESTION:
I’ve been using some hook-up apps to try to get bate buddies. I’ve met at least half a dozen in person, but they always want to go places I don’t want to go sexually. How can I just get what I want? Shouldn’t it be simple? Why is this such a challenge?
RESPONSE:
This challenge is common for many who discover how marvelous solosexuality can be and then find it preferable to other forms of sexual interaction. By keeping a focus on self-pleasure and possibly its variations, such as mutual masturbation and cock2cock rubbing of erections together, some kinds of competition, self-judgment, and power imbalances may be avoided.
Among dedicated masturbators, it is possible to maintain a focus of encouragement, acceptance, and genuine camaraderie or brotherhood. Mutual respect for the other guy’s preferences and expectations makes all the difference. To bypass the ego-games common in other forms of sexual encounters, can be delightful and empowering. This focus allows you and those you share it with to reach ever-higher levels of erotic bliss.
To “just get what you want,” do your best to be exceedingly clear about precisely what you want—list the parameters, and boundaries you seek during encounters. No need to justify or explain; just state exactly what you want. Be exact, but also express understanding that this is not what everyone seeks. Part of the issue you face is that the kind of “dating” or “hookup” apps, pages, and groups that exist are, by their nature, geared towards all sorts of practices beyond what you seek.
“No need to justify or explain; just state exactly what you want. Be exact, but also express understanding that this is not what everyone seeks.”
“Should” usually refers to something that does not exist or isn’t likely. Whether or not the search and what you want “should” be simple, due to the existing structures, expectations, and conditioning by porn scenarios, it is not as simple as you wish for.
The reason for this is, in fact, plural: a complex of reasons. A major overarching challenge is strong conditioning that leads to people expecting certain scenarios, often quite different from what you seek. However, on a planet of 8 billion or more people, no doubt there are plenty who might align with what you seek. Keep looking for alternate places to list your requests.
Thank goodness for the Internet and those apps, which can be frustrating. With patience, persistence, and total clarity on your part in stating your intentions, your search may eventually lead you to your reward.
Blessings on you, brother, for you are far from alone in what you seek!
BateWorld is the perfect alternative to those apps, not just for avoiding any miscommunication about your desires; it goes without saying. From one masturbator to another, it’s typically already known.
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at BateWorld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
It’s never “simple,” although some times you can get lucky.
Speaking as a bi male who’s had a lot of experience trying to find other hetero couples with whom we can share sex, the first step is that you hope people were honest in describing themselves and their desires. The second step is that you have to simply meet at some neutral location (coffee, a beer, dinner, whatever) and discuss what it is you’re looking for. And of course that gives you the opportunity to better view the person, physically. It’s an interview process, nothing less.
If you’ve ever been involved in trying to select an applicant for a job, then you know how difficult the process can be. And as I said, some times you can get it right on the first shot. But not often.
Most of the time you can state what you Don’t want. Make those a hard pass.
bateworld is a hookup web app
If had some success in the past with popular social-networking-for-cock sites finding men to share erotic touch and energy with. My approach is to offer free erotic massages, with the option of exchanges that is frequently accepted. It’s a good way to bypass those awkward getting to know you conversations, and get to know each other by sharing touch and energy. That got frustrated by the epidemic, and hasn’t really picked up since then, but that may be because most younger men find it hard to believe they can receive pleasure with someone of my 80 years! Still the strategy of offering to give instead of focusing on what you want to receive seems sound.
I’m always hard n touching myself, thinking about dick. Love to bate. Texan here, close enough to Dallas to drive in to the abs. Always looking too
I’m going to nut
I’m going to nut all over