Why do so many guys just not “get” that bating is so incredible and even profound?
QUESTION:
Lots of guys put down bating, like it’s just a joke, a stupid thing to do. Or even insulting to have to admit you like it. To me, like you say, Bruce, it’s kind of sacred! If there is a God that created everything, I think he did it with his penis! Why do so many guys just not “get” that bating is so incredible and even profound?
RESPONSE:
Probably the most common reasons that guys don’t “get this” are that they can’t see beyond the conditioned attitudes about masturbation that they learned from other people and from cultural influences. Another reason may be that many men actually don’t have very well-developed masturbation skills. This latter issue is one reason I do the work I do to encourage men all over our lovely Planet Earth to increase their skills at masturbation.
Many men still suffer the “male dominant” delusion that women are weak and should be submissive, and that men must be tough and strong and avoid emotions. I’ve observed that when men learn how to masturbate more effectively, their hearts open. This does not mean becoming an emotional wimp. I observe that men who really enter a deliberate program of learning new masturbation practices to increase their pleasure significantly, also gain in confidence, and even mature in terms of emotion.
Men who fully embrace the beneficial power of masturbating as much as you want, as effectively as possible to provide yourself the highest quality and more prolonged states of pure penis pleasure, become more psychologically balanced. These practices are a way of self-pleasure as a form of loving yourself. You are less likely to do foolish things you regret in order to coerce someone else into sharing sexual pleasure with you.
“Men who fully embrace the beneficial power of masturbating as much as you want, as effectively as possible to provide yourself the highest quality and more prolonged states of pure penis pleasure, become more psychologically balanced.”
A man who happily masturbates often actually broadcasts a different kind of aura. He exudes decent self-esteem, general enjoyment of simply being alive, and a mellower appreciation of other people than men who are always prowling for partners or hunting opportunities to manipulate another person’s behavior. Genuinely joyful masturbators tend to operate more according to “Live and let live,” and also: “Think for yourself, question authority.”
You don’t need to judge those guys who feel a need to joke about masturbation or even put it down as inferior to what they consider “real sex.” Just have compassion for them—they probably have no idea the delicious things they are missing. Men who equally enjoy solo masturbation, masturbating with buddies, and other forms of consensual erotic play when the opportunity arises have many advantages.
Be as understanding as you can of those guys who don’t “get it,” but keep your focus on your own enjoyment of your penis and masturbation!
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at BateWorld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
Me, as I really discovered masturbation, get such a profound bind with myself, that triggered a lot of emotions, good and bad, and traumas. But Im loving the idea of getting to know myself really, and digest, in a mature way, all the shit I’ve been through. So Penis and masturbation are making me a better man, but the journey is still long. Grease, up and down…
Well said! For decades, I’ve been promoting that very idea – that we who truly embrace masturbation/solosex are some of the happiest and most well-balanced people on the planet.
I love the comments about “joyful masturbators” being less prone to psychological maladjustment. I think Bateworld is just that: a joyful community of men becoming filled with a sense of self worth and happiness.
Indeed, masturbation truly is incredible! Yet many of us struggle to deal with our need and desire to masturbate. And figuring out who we are sexually. Hopefully at some point we discover there’s nothing wrong with masturbation. If it’s something you get enjoyment out of, then just do it. At 67 I do it daily.
Hey, I saw your comment on the bait world site and identified with you. I am 68 although most people think I’m 50 but because of my age and some bit of medication, I have trouble with erections and sometimes need to use a cock ring or stand up for sex. With my new openness to masturbating and sex, I have found that I can usually orgasm , but it takes a bit of work at times.
At least it’s solved the problem of premature ejaculation…Ha!
Nevertheless, it is a fucking pain that it takes so much effort at times.
Do you have any tips for us older men who deal with mild ED? I would like to jack off or have sex every day like you but don’t seem to recoup in time for daily and so try to refrain from cock expression till the drive builds up again. I’m thinking about checking out the cock meditations to see if they can help with ED.
I feel ya’ Bruce. We’re the same age. I recently started using Sildenafil (Viagra) and I’ve found that a cock ring is a definite plus. Whatever medications you decide to try, the most important thing to do is follow the directions closely.
One of the characteristics of ED is the inability to maintain a hard-on. Sometimes you just can’t make the delivery. Cockrings and ball-stretchers might be of benefit for your jack-off sessions.
I just discovered “sounding” it’s a very good practice to have in your pleasure arsenal. I’ve found that sounding stimulates me to be eager to get-off more than once per day. As we age, the sex drive decreases while the refractory period increases. However, some studies suggest that ED drugs may shorten the recovery period. It’s part mental game too in wanting to fuck or jack-off several times per day. I try to focus on quality. I don’t usually get-off while sounding, I get really close though, multiple times. But if I still what a nice ejaculation, I gotta’ jack-off. The benefit that I notice is that the prostate-tickle-tingle is still on tap when masturbating.
Get checked out by an M.D. to see if ED meds might be the thing for you. And, think horny to be horny. Replay the feeling you get just before you shoot. There is an OTC medication called eRoxon that gets rubbed on the little soldiers’ helmet (only) and it’s purported to bing him to attention.
Let’s be clear. No man that has experienced the kind of mindful masturbation that Bruce teaches, and I have been lucky enough to have experienced over the past 12 years, would ever make fun of masturbation. The bliss that I enjoy and all the life altering benefits that I have experienced, would take a book to detail. It is truly transformative. Take comfort in the fact that those who don’t understand or poke fun at you have never experienced the joy we have!