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Ask The Batemaster: Problems With Camming

QUESTION: Love to bate on cam with my Phallic Brothers, as you call us! Really nice how many guys tell me they love my penis, how beautiful it is! It’s not huge, only it has a nice defined head. But so many guys go right into, “I wanna suck it for you!” or, “Please fuck me?” I’m really not into fantasy or role-play—just wanna bate together. It’s an annoying distraction. How do I keep them on-subject?

RESPONSE: A couple of things to keep in mind: The flattery about your penis is sincere, and you can allow that to contribute to your own arousal. As you enjoy being seen erect and masturbating, so fully enjoy that confidence. Second: don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. This means, things may not be perfect, but appreciate the good part of the situation. You turn guys on, which turns you on in return, right?

I often have similar experiences. Over the years, thousands of guys have seen my erect penis on cam, and witnessed me masturbating, as I witnessed them. Quite a few guys praise my penis, which I feel is partly because I’m so shameless, even brazen about sharing it. I also have quite a few guys, as you do, who suggest other things they want to do with mine besides bating together on cam. In some cases, this does get seriously distracting from the matters at hand (pun fully intended).

Still, to resort to another cliché, I tend to count my blessings. As a well-known masturbation coach, I’ve also learned to gently and kindly guide attention back from fantasizing about something else, to return the focus to what we’re actually doing. I’ll offer sincere praise of the other guy’s penis in return. That tends to help his arousal and keep the session on topic.

There’s nothing wrong with fantasy or role-playing, I’m sure, but it’s just not what I’m after when I masturbate with fellows on cam online, either. In my case, it’s most often a matter of professional masturbation coaching, but I definitely enjoy the masturbation itself!

Never hesitate to tell the guy or the guys you are camming with, if you’d rather not fantasize or pretend about doing other stuff—only let them know as nicely as possible. You could say, “That’s really nice, but just for now, I’d like to focus on what we’re actually doing, okay?” Or, “Do you mind if we just bate together? Looking at your penis makes me so hot, it’s all I need!”

Make sure you’re comfortable with everything in the situation—even turned on, not only by what you’re seeing, but the activity itself. Most of us don’t look like a porn model, but your attitude and what you are doing are hot stuff! That ought to be enough bate fuel for both of you.

If not, let them find someone else who wants to play their way. Play with the guys who want to play your way.

Places to cam:

BateWorld VidChat

Batecams

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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1 Comment

  1. I massage my friends sometimes when they need it. I would LOVE to give the perfect lengthy PENIS massage. I wish there was a breakdown of the various areas of pleasure of the PENIS so that i could extensively focus on each particular and distinct area of the PENIS in ways that bring maximum pleasure without my friends experiencing orgasm, or holding off on orgasm as long as possible. Do you have any recommended resources?