Ask The Batemaster: Premature Ejaculation During Lockdown

If you can calm your mind somewhat, learn to relax into it, that will help.

QUESTION: I’ve been in lockdown with some buddies, who are roomies from school. We mostly get along, which is great. All of us masturbate, but not usually together, except this one guy really wants to mutual with me a lot. But when he touches my erection, I shoot in less than a minute, almost right away! I’m embarrassed and frustrated. How can I learn to last longer?

RESPONSE: Start by remembering that your sensations, your arousal, the intensity that triggers your orgasms, all happen in your brain. It’s great that your penis is so sensitive, actually, because if you can learn how to enjoy mutual masturbation for longer, it will be incredibly rewarding and feel fantastic beyond anything you feel now. If you can calm your mind somewhat, learn to relax into it, that will help. 

Ask your bate buddy for his cooperation, just say, “Please help me learn how to enjoy this for as long as we both want.”

The next part of this is that you need to learn to relax while you’re aroused. Start with deep, abdominal breathing to help you get into a relaxed state. You are probably so excited by the situation of this guy touching your erection, you get a bit stressed. You do shallow upper chest breathing and tense up muscles in ways you are not aware of doing. Make sure you breathe deeply into your belly, so it come out; breathe out from your belly so it goes in towards your spine. As you learn to calm your mind, keep aware of your arousal level.

Ask your buddy to just hold your erection lightly for a while, without stroking it, keep breathing in and out, not holding your breath. You may still ejaculate easily: it’s all in your mind! Then, if you get better at letting him do this, tell him he can squeeze harder, but ask him not to stroke much, unless you can take it without shooting your wad. Be sure to tell him how much you appreciate his cooperation, and he will probably feel really good about helping you.

If you get too close to ejaculation, tell him you need a break. Maybe play with his penis for a while. Also, if you do ejaculate, as soon as you can get an erection again, it may be easier for a while to let him touch and stroke yours. Keep your focus on him, and what he wants, which may help distract you slightly from your own challenge. Hopefully you’ll both enjoy this process, and over time you may get used to it.

Your challenge is probably a better one to have than its opposite, which is guys who have a really hard time getting to orgasm, and that’s a whole other subject. 

Work on staying relaxed when you are doing it solo, all by yourself. Whenever it gets intense, pay full attention to how close you are to the edge of ejaculation. 

Keep telling your bate buddy how much you appreciate his help, and hopefully he should enjoy helping you. You will get there!

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.