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Ask The Batemaster: Mattress & Pillow Bate

The discovery of how good pressure against your aroused genitals feels is a marvelous part of the journey.

QUESTION: What about rubbing my penis on a bed mattress or a pillow? I started doing this pretty young, and lots of times it’s still a favorite way for me to bate. Is this childish? Do you think it’s okay? Thanks!

RESPONSE: What you describe is not unusual, not uncommon, and in itself is not harmful. Let me confess, that from a very early age, 3 or 4 when I first recall pressure between my legs generating pleasure, until I was maybe 10 or 11, I tended to do something similar. 

Not until that later age, did I really catch on to touching my penis with my hand for pleasure. But I always loved to press things between my legs: I climbed trees, slid down banisters, climbed a tether-ball pole, and yes, I humped my mattress. I recall frequently lying face down and feeling the glorious sensations radiate through my body from my aroused genitals!

Boys often discover penis pleasure this way, or by pressing their penis against a pillow, even folding a pillow over and inserting the penis between the halves. This kind of self-stimulation may continue through a guy’s teens and into his adulthood. There’s nothing wrong with this, though a great deal of dry rubbing may eventually produce slightly “rougher” surface skin cells on your penis and lead to mildly reduced sensitivity. To press or squeeze your penis this way, is less likely to result in desensitizing, than actual rubbing.

Similarly, there is nothing particularly “immature” about such a practice, though it may become something of a fetish, meaning a particular scenario, practice or image your enjoyment depends upon. Similarly, it may prove a drawback if you actually prefer this to other forms of masturbatory or sexual pleasure. Don’t beat yourself up about the preference but do deliberately explore other options. 

Roll over onto your back, lubricate your penis well, and try a variety of other forms of stroking. Some men who use a Fleshlight or other masturbation toy that encloses and stimulates your penis, may actually place such a device into the fold of a pillow, or between a top mattress and box spring. Then you can insert your erection into the toy to thrust in and out of it.

Be aware that you are far from alone and not at all abnormal. The discovery of how good pressure against your aroused genitals feels is a marvelous part of the journey to becoming a fantastic male masturbator as a grown man. If it limits your penis sensitivity somewhat, or the variety of forms of stimulation you enjoy, deliberately, purposefully explore other options.

My discovery of Mindful Masturbation in 1995 involves deliberately, purposefully breaking ingrained habits of self-pleasure to discover the limitless possibilities of bliss. There are many, many roads to pure penis pleasure and all of them honorable and worthwhile!

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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4 Comments

  1. Friction against pillows, mattresses, soft carpets and rugs, my sister’s undergarments and many other soft surfaces was my main means of cock stimulation from age 5-6 until my late teens. I started using my hands more as an older teen and adult. I still used pressure friction from time to time in my adult years but less frequently than in my younger years. Even to this day I sometimes use pressure friction but never to climax; I always end up using my hand or a sex toy such as a flesh light. My opinion is that if it feels good on your cock then go for it. Do not be concerned whether you think this method or that method may be “immature.” Such thought limits your imagination, experimentation and new experiences. After all many people in our society think that masturbation itself is immature’ obviously, most men here on BW would disagree.

  2. From like 7 years old to 14 I used to hump the floor, or rock back and forth until I had an orgasm. I used to do that all the time. I’d watch cartoons lying on the floor with a sofa pillow propped under my torso, pelvis and dick on the floor and during the commercials I’d go crazy humping the floor. I’d do this with my clothes on because I was too young to ejaculate.

    As I got older, I’d do this without the pillow, and prop myself up on my elbows and go at it. I’d put toilet paper down on the floor and go at it like that in the bathroom. I was just tall enough to fit corner to corner.

    It wasn’t until I was around 14 during a camping trip with other Boy Scouts that I learned how to use my hand to beat off. We were in a tent at night talking about masturbation. I was amazed as these guys, both brothers, pulled out their dicks and showed them to me. I showed them mine. I watch them stroke, and I rolled over and humped my sleeping bag. They had never seen anyone do that. We all came, but I had to sleep in my cum. It wasn’t as nice as it sounds, ’cause it got cold and wet. The next night, we did it again, but this time, they showed me how to use my hand. That tent smelled like sperm the entire camping trip. I’m sure the Scoutmaster knew what we were doing. His tent was not far away, and our flashlights surely showed our shadows. Still we were some masturbating Scouts getting into orgasms.