Mindful Masturbation can improve self-esteem…I suggest a classic “Love Yourself” mirror exercise.
QUESTION: In my late teens I suffered a serious sexual trauma. I won’t give details, not to be a bummer, and I’m not looking for pity. But now, in my late 20s, though guys who see me naked tell me I’m really hot, in the mirror I don’t particularly like what I see. Your work has made me realize I’m missing something important. How can I get back that appreciation of myself?
RESPONSE: This is a tough statement and question to respond to. Your general situation is sadly, not so uncommon. How you can best deal with it has no simple, easy answer. At the same time, because the trauma is related to your earlier sexual experience, an important part of dealing with this is to do your best to reclaim a positive and happy experience of your sexual self.
In some way or another, just about everyone in the world is walking wounded. Most of us have suffered various traumas to different degrees, and of different kinds. Yours may fall into better perspective and be something you can move beyond more effectively by training yourself in Mindful Masturbation. This means without a major focus on porn or fantasy to distract you, but keep a focus instead on your own body, your actual sensations, and what you are doing.
A trained penis actually behaves differently from the penis that continues to be masturbated in a single style from puberty onward. The trained penis is trained by exploring a variety of possible masturbation strategies and techniques. Discover ways to prolong and heighten your sensations and increase your enjoyment. If you choose to pursue this path, due to your history, your self-esteem may act as at least a partial barrier to your efforts. But Mindful Masturbation can improve self-esteem.
I suggest a classic “Love Yourself” mirror exercise. Gaze at your reflection from close-up, stare directly into your own eyes and say aloud: “I love you, ___ (your name), I really, really love you, ___ (your name again)…” and keep repeating this. Pay attention to any feelings that arise within you. You may feel awkward, insincere, even skeptical. Only do persist with this. Eventually what seems like an act can become sincere and start to transform your feelings about yourself.
Genuine self-love must be unconditional. Not for a specific reason, not something that will happen when you fix some flaw in yourself. This is not the same as vanity, or egotism. It is about self-acceptance—love yourself as you are, simply because you exist. This takes time, some patience, and persistence, and you will succeed!
Combine this with a program of deliberate, purposeful work on increasing your masturbatory pleasure, to enjoy it for longer and longer periods, more and more intensely. When you look at yourself naked, the mirror will begin to tell you something different about what you see.
Persist, and you will get to where you want to be: a happier place!
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
How do I train my penis?
Practice Mindful Masturbation to train your penis… which means you explore new territory on a regular basis, break habits periodically, and this way rewire nerves in your brain, nervous system, entire body and penis. This process called that big word, “neuroplasticity,” is a reason why your relaly can train your penis indefinitely to keep giving you ever-increasing levels of blissful enjoyment. A free online training int he basics can be found here, a coaching series called 9 GOLDEN KEYS OT MINDFUL MASTURBATION: https://www.eroticengineering.com/9goldenkeys-full Peace, — BPG