Skip to content

Follow us on:

Home » Ask The Batemaster » Ask The Batemaster: Holiday Surprise

Ask The Batemaster

Ask The Batemaster: Holiday Surprise

QUESTION: I’ve been widowed for many years, and now I have family in my home for the holidays. I was up to pee one night and happened to notice my college-age grandson with his door cracked open, masturbating. This was glorious to behold, but then he noticed me watching and looked at me, shocked and he blushed. “Carry on,” I said, “Happy Holidays!” Then I quietly closed his door for him to have privacy. Was that the right thing to do?

RESPONSE: In my opinion, that young man is very fortunate to have a grandfather like you! This is the kind of scenario that I don’t know if Bateworld will agree to publish my column about, but I think the way you handled it was wonderful. Though your grandson may have been startled, you did not reinforce any guilt or shame for him. Also, you respected his privacy by closing the door after you blessed him.

Bateworld tends to consult their lawyers when I deal with anything related to incest, “family matters” or scenarios that include underage individuals. However, in this case, I detect no actual incestuous activity or intention, no underage involvement, in truth nothing improper at all! The fact that you found your masturbating college-age grandson “glorious to behold” neither surprises me, nor does it seem in the least bit wrong. 

Your kindly encouragement and greeting seems like about the best way you could possibly have handled a situation, which could have proven most embarrassing, if not traumatic for the young man. You did your best to reassure him that you did not disapprove—on the contrary. The only inter-generational aspect means you acted with a kind of natural authority he probably respects. Many parents still feel especially awkward about the sexuality of their children, just as children do about the sexuality of parents. 

Such awkwardness comes mainly from cultural conditioning and also ignorance, which may often be the result of poor sex education in schools. In today’s world, many young people—and to be frank, older people as well—get much or all of their sex education from the Internet. What they hear from friends may not be reliable.

Even the Internet provides a lot of misinformation along with some good sources. Unfortunately, online porn often provides mainly mechanical performances and predictable scripts without much in the way of the psychological and emotional aspects of sexuality. The mind and heart are crucial to quality erotic experience.

If you do end up discussing masturbation with your grandson, which is really the best thing parents or grandparents can do for younger people, what matters is to make sure he knows you fully approve of masturbation. Assure him that you consider the practice not only healthy and natural, but beneficial. From the tone of your question, I suspect you can be trusted to know what to say to him.

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

Related Posts

Leave A Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

1 Comment