QUESTION: My brother and I grew up sharing a bedroom. We used to both jerk-off in the dark, under the covers, which was exciting, but we never really saw each other do it. Now that we’re a bit older—he’s divorced and I’m gay—if we had a chance, I’d love to do that with him. Would it be wrong? Would it really be incest?
RESPONSE: This kind of question I sometimes write about for Bateworld, but it’s usually not possible for them to publish, as there are legal parameters for the site. But let me tell you, in reality, only you and your brother could really sort out the right and wrong involved, if an opportunity arises and he’s as interested as you seem to be. It’s a private matter.
From your question, I cannot tell if your brother would really be open to such sharing with you now. Even though he is divorced, many men, even gay men, are still conditioned with a certain amount of internalized homophobia. This means that even if he accepts that you are gay, he may not be able to easily deal with such tendencies within himself.
What this also brings up is the matter of men labeling ourselves according to a small number of simplistic categories. As I sometimes say, “gay, bi- and straight” really refer to kinds of sexual behavior, not to kinds of people. Technically, what you want to engage in with your brother is indeed considered incestuous—and legally. In practice it does seem different now that you are both adults with some personal history behind you.
Allow yourself to sometimes fantasize about this, so long as it is not a constant obsession, rather than disrupt your relationship as siblings. You are the only one who can observe how the personal rapport between you and him feels. Sense whether or not it might be a good time to suggest such an experience.
He may even have some feelings of this sort himself, when you consider the history you have growing up together. It’s best not to make any assumptions one way or another.
You may be able to communicate something on this issue non-verbally, just by looking into his eyes, asking him how he feels about your sexuality, even if you’ve talked about it before. Or even ask him if he remembers how it was, and what he thought of that. Consider his feelings before your own desires. You both have options Try not to close any doors, while at the same time it’s better not to force a door open. If you’re confident he might be open to it, why not just ask him?
On the other hand, it might be best of all to just let that experience of yours remain in the past and enjoy the arousing memories. Your decision, of course!
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
And pregnancy is not an issue in this case.
Good point! And if they are both consenting adults, why is it anyone else’s business?
Growing up in a large family sharing a bed. It was the norm at night when you discovered you older brother jerking off and when you started joining in; well that made it even better. It became no shame to whip it out anywhere and just start jerking with each other. The bond was tight and still continues to this day. Not as often but that wild eyed look never goes away.