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Ask The Batemaster: Bisexuality Is Real

Bisexuality really exists.

QUESTION: I’m truly bisexual. With women I do whatever they like, and they seem to really appreciate me. With guys I actually understand better what they really want, and I get good reviews. I’ve also heard some people say all bisexuals are actually gay. What do you think?

RESPONSE: Bisexuality really exists. My feeling is the vast majority of men are somewhere along a bisexual spectrum. In fact, totally straight and totally gay are a lot rarer than people often think. It’s really not possible to separate out nature and nurture, that is your DNA from personal history and conditioning, with something so complex as human sexuality.

Still, if you have had sex with women and also with men, and you really enjoyed both, you are probably closer to the middle of that bisexuality spectrum than some other people. The idea that “bisexuals are actually gay” comes partly from the fact that many men use the self-label of being bisexual to make them feel more comfortable on the way to fully owning that they simply prefer sex with fellow men. In some cases, it is a temporary cover until deeper self-acceptance and confidence overcomes caring about the opinions of others too much.

Still, what you say about understanding what guys want better than what women want, is natural. In truth, you can make a good case for the idea that homosexuality, being gay, is more natural than trying to understand your biological opposite, which is women. To the extent that you know and understand and appreciate your own male body, this helps you to relate to fellow men. This flies in the face of the old assumption that heterosexuality is more natural, but that only reflects the fact that reproduction happens a lot in Nature.

As the second decade of the New Millennium ends, we are more aware than ever of a huge variety of gender variations beyond simple male/female binary, and beyond the simplistic three pigeonholes of straight, bi- and gay, even when you add transgender and queer.

It’s a wonderful thing if you can open yourself to a lot more options with a wider variety of partners than some guys. Regardless of who or what your lovers may be, most important of all is that you treat your partner with kindness, acceptance, and respect. Regardless, if you make the effort to learn about them, to know them better, you are also learning about yourself and knowing yourself better.

Regardless of your sexuality and its various nuances, if you love to masturbate and you masturbate as part of loving yourself better and better all the time, this also helps you become a better lover with others, and of course, with yourself! 

Practice makes better and nobody needs to be perfect.

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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3 Comments

  1. This is so true:
    “Bisexuality really exists. My feeling is the vast majority of men are somewhere along a bisexual spectrum. In fact, totally straight and totally gay are a lot rarer than people often think.”

  2. Ick, I don’t want to actually have sex–oral or anal anything, but I do like JO buddies and admire a good looking cut cock, observing, mutual touching, etc. It’s enormously flattering for a guy to be admired by another guy and sharin responses, like orgasm.

  3. I’m a happily married grandfather and totally bisexual. I’ve had sex since adolescence with males and females. I find the experience provides very different satisfaction. Still horny. Still sexually active. Still bisexual. Lucky me.