Straightforward communication is key here!
QUESTION: There’s this bate buddy I really like otherwise, except whenever we do mutual, he makes me come too quickly. That’s easy for him because my penis is really sensitive and seems a lot more so than his. He thinks it’s funny to speed up his strokes and make me cum too fast! I hate that, so how can I get him to cooperate, so to speak?
RESPONSE: The best approach is straightforward communication. Have you tried just asking for what you really want? If this is seriously disappointing to you, to be forced into coming a lot sooner than you wanted, be sure to tell him this. You don’t need to resort to ultimatums or threaten to no longer masturbate with him to emphasize how important it is to you. You might say something like, “I enjoy stroking with you, and it feels so good, that I want to enjoy it for a lot longer before I come.” Put it in terms of yourself, rather than criticizing him. Tell him you’re training yourself to last longer, and be specific about speed and pressure of touch.
Hopefully this guy is decent enough to honor your request. If not, tell him you’d rather stroke yourself, even if you still do it together, because you are serious about wanting your pleasure to last longer. People reveal a lot more by what they do, than by what they say.
Consideration for the wishes of others is one of the most important issues when guys masturbate together. Whether in each other’s presence, or actually masturbating mutually, stroking each other’s penises, it’s crucial. A good bate buddy will always go the extra mile, or quite a few extra miles to make you (or anyone involved) feel comfortable with the situation. Feeling good about yourself, and about what is happening, is a major key to good sessions.
Let’s face it, when men masturbate together it’s actually among the most intimate experiences we can share. This is partly because a lot of the time, masturbation is a really private practice. To display your genitals, to share one another’s arousal, to pleasure yourselves and witness one another in the act, is a deeply personal honor all around. Whether it’s just two guys, or a group, everyone solo, or some mutual stroking, it’s all a fantastic form of ecstatic intimacy.
Guys masturbating together can encourage each other as equals in the full enjoyment of this practice. Individual differences of appearance and age are best left behind.
With actual guys, either online or in person, a crucial element of sharing male masturbation is that when you accept yourself as you are, you can accept other guys as they are. Be kind and polite. Of course, to talk dirty on request may even be part of such consideration. Think about their pleasure and enjoyment, at least as much as you think about your own, and everyone’s pleasure increases. It’s a win-win situation.
If that particular buddy of yours will not cooperate after you make your wishes clear, move on and focus on other bate buddies.
A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.
Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.
Answer seems simple enough, communication! Funny how we’re often reluctant to talk about our sexual interests and needs. I’m guilty as well, never discussing with sex partners that I’m better at bating than fucking. Sharing something so intimate, what we need sexually yet its not always easy to bring it up – but sure would be great if we did.
In this case, I’m guessing if this “not so quick” issue isn’t discussed this guy will likely need to just move on. From the sounds of things sounds like they know each other well enough that its time to discuss it. Perhaps before cocks come out for the next session.
Great answer. Also why it’s really important in the first couple of meetings to focus on learning and watching. It’s important to demonstrate to our buddies what it is we love to do.
There’s also value in letting go. I’ve taught a few guys to edge, and one thing I always tell them is that if you never lose control of an edge, you’re not edging hard enough — not pushing the boundary. So perhaps our writer can try focusing on other ways of learning to master control over his buddy’s work on his penis. And learn to enjoy post-orgasm masturbation as well.
Dear Brother and all Brothers: Great comments here! Yes, a big part of being an excellent bate buddy is observing your buds carefully, listening to them, and being totally encouraging. It’s not about proving anything, so much as sharing. And the major part of what you share is just your presence. Yup: the aftermath is just as precious as build-up and anticipation. Much appreciated! Peace — BPG
Communication is indeed key and I tend to cast a wider net to think of it as one component in simply, well, being a gentleman. There’s no greater opportunity to behave like one than a bate session with a buddy. The core of that is ‘man,’ of course, and a good one always looks to affirm his partner’s sense of manhood and sovereignty. He seeks his partner’s pleasure, asks before touching and if it gets that far handles his equipment with gentleness and respect. Men are capable of transmitting volumes of thought to each other through their eyes and gestures, so going back to communication I’d like to hope more and more bate buddies will not need to be told not to go too fast, that kind of thing. They will just sense what the guy needs to achieve satisfaction and help get him there.
Yes! The concept of “being a gentleman” may seem old-fashioned to some, but the reality never goes out of date. Plus, expecting someone to read your mind usually doesn’t yield much fruit! Mixing my metaphors? Oh well! — Peace, BPG
Communicate that next time he does that he has to get 2nd load out before stopping. Problem solved.
Well, is=f he responds to stern commands, perhaps! — BPG
Hmmm. My comment is that, although it’s hot to match your partner’s strokes, you can slow down or stop periodically to fondle his balls or reflect on an aspect of your mutual bate and the so what, you cum first that’s more his choice than yours.
Yes, one virtue of masturbating together and mutual masturbation can be that every guy may be able to get whatever he specifically wants, right? — BPG