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Ask The Batemaster: Are Older Bators Better?

“It’s nice to think that age doesn’t matter in the supportive realm of Phallic Brotherhood…”

QUESTION: Cute young guys get a lot of attention for their looks, but they often lack finesse and style. As a senior citizen well-into my seventh decade, I appreciate what older guys bring to the bate. I’m still going strong in this department, even if I sometimes use a little blue pill to get there. What do you think about this?

RESPONSE: It’s nice to think that age doesn’t matter in the supportive realm of Phallic Brotherhood, and for many men it isn’t too important. More power to you, Brother, for continuing to enjoy yourself! My own take is that I do seek to encourage men of all ages (18+) to not only enjoy masturbation, but even work on breaking old habits and trying new things.

Male masturbation is not primarily about looks, or about age, except in superficial terms. It’s truly about your penis and the fantastic universe of ways that it can bring you abundant erotic ecstasy, regardless of your age or your looks. To be honest, all men tend to have certain preferences in terms of appearance—certain physical types or grooming habits may turn you on, or may turn you off, or may not matter much.

While there’s nothing wrong with having such preferences and seeking out guys who fulfil them, it’s also valuable to try to look beyond your preferred “type” in order to expand your horizons. It’s possible you may discover some types you enjoy in ways you did not expect. Yes, many times younger guys are attractive partly just because years of experience have not made their mark of the body and the face; conversely, the evidence of experience, endurance, profound enjoyment evidenced in both the looks and character of older men can also be treasured.

Explore beyond your expectations, and also remind yourself to try to consider everyone you encounter as an individual, not just objectified by appearance, rather as someone who you may be able to appreciate for their personality, for ways they differ from you, and for their simple humanity.

One special gift of being a human male who greatly appreciates masturbation and penises is that strange balance between endless variety and the universal elements of the human design. This balance may even seem contradictory, as individual differences appear so radical, while the basic anatomy all men have in common provides a vast range of men to consider and to honor.

Sometimes I hear older men say younger men are so pretty, but they may need more years to develop character. Still, in reality, older men are not always wiser, and in practice some very young men turn out to have remarkable wisdom of their own kind. Sometimes young men have learned new tricks that their elders have gotten complacent about. Assumptions are often wrong.

While there’s nothing wrong with having preferences, we can all learn a great deal from exploring the fantastic variety of men in the world: respecting all men’s bodies, all men’s faces, all men’s penises, and yes, their hearts and their minds as well.

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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12 Comments

  1. The older I get (50-ish now), the more I appreciate ALL men! I used to really have a thing for the young guys and my taste really still leans that way. However, I do so appreciate more maturity these days. And as for bating… those of us that have had a little more experience with our hands really do know a thing or two about self-pleasure. (No offense intended, young ones.)

    1. Yes, Brother! My experience with coaching and erotic activism is that many men experience a sort of journey of self-discovery, sometimes exploring sex with a partner or more often various partners… then sometime in the later 30s to around 50 revisiting self-pleasure and discovering it’s just as good or even better, as it does not necessarily require cooperation with someone else. Masturbating with another guy or a group then just becomes icing on the cake! — BPG

    2. older may not be the “best”, no one can deny that the power of ejacualtion when you are young can be overwhelming, but years of masturbation can eventually become so satisfying, so normal, natural and wholesome, that each orgasm leaves you contented in a way that shooting a load at 17 couldn’t.

  2. Great to hear questions from some of our older bators here. Don’t know that being older makes us better at masturbating. Perhaps we’re more experienced, we also may be more set in our ways and not interested in exploring new techniques or changing up our masturbation routines. At 65 I’m still a daily bator.

    I find that some of the younger guys that I cyber off with do enjoy the idea of my being older than they are. And they imagine that I will guide them along for an even more amazing orgasm. While others don’t seem at all concerned with differences in ages. Our goals are really all the same.

    Yes the beauty of owning the same equipment is the bonding and knowing and appreciating the gift that masturbation can give each and everyone one of us. No matter how different we maybe in other ways.

    1. Good point, Brother! Masturbation is a common ground that virtually all human males share. Those that now embrace masturbation as a primary erotic experience or even THE primary experience, are way ahead of the curve. It’s a growing tendency, but still pioneering turf, as many pockets of inhibition and resistance to fully accepting human nature persist. Bateworld and my erotic activism are doing something of significance about this! — BPG

      1. Always nice when posts like these get comments and begins to start a conversation between masturbators. Masturbators really are a unique community!

  3. I am now 78 years old and basically still j/o once a day. (Sometimes I miss a day, but then I j/o twice the following day, so that makes up for it.)

    There are some men who seek me out on Silverdaddies or other sites, because I am the age I am. I find that odd. Were they to seek me out because I like classical music, or have traveled extensively, I would get it, but age? Having been born at a certain time is an accident, it odes not guarantee much more than somehow having existed.

    I am happy to converse and/or jerk off with men of any (legal) age. It’s fun!

    1. Yes, figuring out the how’s and why’s can be an interesting challenge. I occasionally get the older “daddy thing” remark or could I be – which is a total turn off for me.

      1. I’m always honored when someone calls me a daddy or even a grandfather… and I suppose it takes all kinds! Because of my Twitter feed, some guy suspect I’m only into your get guys who are rather well-endowed, but it’s really a matter of willingness to be shared including your face… plus, to me the energy a man projects is a lot more important than looks or age. — BPG

    2. You have a good attitude, Brother anatol… age, either younger or older is never really guarantee of anything, is it? Older age is not always a guarantee of wisdom or worthwhile experience, both of which some younger fellows turn out to have. The opposites are true, and actual humans tend to be complicated, as well as fascinating, if we really pay attention. Everyone is individual, and it’s worth treating every male masturbator we encounter as a potentially a wonderful playmate. At the very least, it’s great to treat every guy we encounter with respect. — BPG

  4. I didn’t dedicate myself to the deliberate practice of enhancing my masturbatory skills until about 20 years ago. (I am now 58). I had always enjoyed frequent masturbation, but after two failed marriages, decided I needed a break from relationships. That’s all I intended it to be, a pause, not a permanent way of life. No one called it solosexual then, and I don’t think I ever heard that term until the past few years. Anyway, the late 90s was the early internet explosion. I was able to harness the ability to learn more about things that had long intrigued me – male multiple orgasm, dry orgasm, toys, etc. only now, as a single man living alone, I could fully indulge for the first time in my life. I read every book I could find on masturbation and male orgasm. Many of these books were downright awful, but I found enough good information to begin to embark on a journey which included various methods to strengthen the core muscles of the penile area to improve ejaculatory control and strengthen erections. I also began to improve my overall fitness and diet to support these efforts and added supplements.

    My daily routine consisted of multiple sessions of extended edging. At that time, I didn’t practice or fully understand the practice of semen retention. Part of this was I was still in my 30s, in very good to excellent physical shape, and still horny as hell! Therefore, ejaculating 3-4 times a day, was still possible, and didn’t limit my activities. The pleasure enhancement curve, as I called it, was remarkable. The heights I began to reach were nothing short of breathtaking. Not only that, but I was able to achieve them more and more frequently, which made me get aroused just thinking about my next sessions.

    I began to experiment with “extended self love Saturdays”, which could dominate a morning or afternoon where I would block out the world and get into a meditative state of deep breathing and slow extended edging where I became more and more aware of each stroke, each breath, and each heartbeat. It was during one of these sessions where I began to slip into the world of dry orgasm without even realizing it at first. I just remember riding waves that were truly orgasmic, only longer, and I began to have several over the course of a short time.

    Anyway, to wrap up a long story, I never went back to dating, and feel more content than ever. I know that a young man today can develop the knowledge at a much earlier age, but it still takes dedication and commitment to experience the type of pleasures us older guys have taught ourselves.