Ask The Batemaster: Am I Turning Gay?

There is really nothing to be gained by trying to label your sexuality…

QUESTION: I’ve always been totally straight, married forever, kids and a grandchild now. But since my wife lost interest in sex, I found your site, joined Bateworld. And now when I see the photos on your Erotic Engineering blogs, and on BW, all those penises get me hotter than hot! Am I turning gay? Did you do this to me?

RESPONSE: There is really nothing to be gained by trying to label your sexuality, and some freedom of behavior and self-acceptance may be lost. Most men can become aroused when seeing the penises of fellow males. Most men enjoy masturbation to either images of other men’s erections, seeing male acts of masturbation, camming with other male masturbators, or even sharing masturbation in person with fellow men. Only cultural conditioning prevents admitting this truth.

My lifetime study of human sexuality and the thousands of men I have chatted with about masturbation and sexuality online suggests to me that very few men can be considered totally “gay” or truly “straight.” Even to say that most men are somewhat bisexual, which has a lot of truth to it, is an over-simplification. We cannot separate nurture from nature, in terms of causes, meaning personal history or genetics. We are complex beings.

Human beings are highly sexual animals who do not depend upon estrus cycles to become interested in sex like most mammals. We can become aroused and seek erotic stimulation at almost any time. Throughout much of human history, and in many parts of the world still today, it is common for men to connect with female partners to bond for the purpose of procreation, to have children. Once that process of child-rearing is set in motion, many men seek the company of fellow males for recreational pleasure. Male-to-male pleasure is especially intense.

The truth is that a fellow human male is a lot more likely to comprehend and appreciate your penis and how to pleasure it, than many human females, mainly because your fellow men have their own penises. A man can comprehend and appreciate the penis and its enjoyment from within himself. 

There is nothing purer, more innocent than male arousal and enjoyment of pure penis pleasure for its own sake. Only when judgments, guilt or shame, or competition, ego games and drama enter the picture, can such delightful activity have drawbacks. When men engage in masturbatory pleasure simply for the sake of how incredibly good it feels, the activity becomes healthy, life-enhancing, encourages good self-esteem, and happiness. To share this with fellow men is one of life’s great gifts.

Your experience is not unusual, on the contrary. I would simply call you human and male. I’m glad if my work and my play offered you the opportunity to experience it and become aware of your own scope.

Congratulations! You are a man with a penis!

Here are some other helpful Bator Blogs on this very topic:

Straight Guys Turned On By Penis

Am I Sort Of Gay? Maybi Bi?

I Think I’m Gay

Also be sure to check out the Masturbation Has No Orientation column

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.