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Ask The Batemaster: Lube, Dry Skin and Porn

To Lube or Not to Lube?

QUESTION:I typically masturbate without lube or lotion because I sit at the computer to chat, flip through porn, or have phone sex. I am worried that my penis is getting damaged due to dry skin, but I don’t want to get my computer/phone covered in lube. Any thoughts on this?

RESPONSE: The last thing you want is for your precious penis to become desensitized from too much dry rubbing, which can literally build up callus, that is a layer of dead skin cells on the surface. In order to protect your penis and also to increase sensation, without messy keyboard, mouse, or phone problems, there are a number of tactics. It’s worth going to a small amount of trouble to preserve that exquisite sensation from the pleasure receptor nerves of your penis.

Among lubes, my personal favorite is 100% pure organic coconut oil, partly because it takes very little to both protect your penis and to increase sensation a lot. (Of course, Albolene feels good, but it’s a lot messier, and I don’t think quite as slick.) In fact, coconut oil is actually good for your skin, and it wipes off from your fingertips easily if you keep a piece of paper towel nearby. The little that gets on your devices can be lightly polished off with a soft tissue paper.

Another effective tactic is to lay a piece of shrink-wrap over your keyboard, or even a smaller piece over your mouse, though the built-in mouse pad on many laptops may not need even this with moderate coconut oil use.

More Orgasms, Less Porn.

QUESTION:Now that I am approaching 65, it takes me a lot longer to come. I also think I am watching way too much porn, and when I am with someone, I usually am not able to orgasm with them. Is there some way to increase my penis sensitivity and to orgasm without using porn? I have bought a magic wand and have had amazing orgasms with it without watching porn.

RESPONSE: You already have good advice for yourself. While looking at porn can be wonderful, we’re also learning that too much may not be helpful. In fact, using porn a great deal for masturbation stimulus may actually de-sensitize brain centers related to pleasure. It’s definitely worth questioning how much may be too much for you. In fact, many younger men who obsess to porn are starting to suffer erectile dysfunction.

Also, never hesitate to use your magic wand, any kind of vibrator or toy that increases your pleasure. As in the previous question, be sure you use plenty of lube, especially coconut oil, which is good for your skin, may maintain or even increase your enjoyment.

One more thing that can benefit male masturbators of any age is to exercise the perineum, that area between your scrotum and your anus. The simplest form of this (similar to Kegels or PC clenches) is called “anal breathing.” This can be done while you masturbate, for maximum benefit. Coordinate breathing IN with clenching your anus; breathe OUT as you relax your anus. Do this over and over again.

Try the anal breathing first without masturbating, to get the rhythm: then doing this while you masturbate adds new dimensions to your pleasure.

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The Bate Master - Bruce P. GretherBRUCE P. GRETHER is the “BateMaster”. Mr. Grether’s lifelong love of penises and masturbation has led him to achieve a level of mastery and understanding of masturbation that is at once unique and extremely rare. He is renowned for both his ability to achieve seemingly endless states of prolonged and intense masturbatory pleasure as well as his skill in passing this knowledge on to his students. Mr. Grether has made it his life’s mission to encourage men to take their practice of masturbation to new levels of personal enrichment and self-discovery.

Mr. Grether is a globally recognized masturbation activist, an accomplished masturbation coach, and a tireless facilitator of masturbation workshops. In 2001 he coined the now popular term “Mindful Masturbation”. He is the author of a best-selling book, The Secret of the Golden Phallus, plus the erotic fantasy novels The Moontusk Chronicles. His website can be found at www.eroticengineering.com.

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A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.


View all posts by The Batemaster (Bruce P. Grether)

How Bruce P. Grether became the Batemaster

Among his earliest memories, Bruce recalls seeing an adult man’s penis swing about anchored in a nest of curly brown hairs when the man was changing clothes. That penis fascinated him and he somehow knew it was of major importance. He also remembers how good it felt to slide down a stairway banister or to climb a tree with pressure between his legs sending delicious sensations all through his body.

At an early age, he played doctor with another boy his age, and the frottage he enjoyed as they rubbed their penises together made him feel One with All Things.

He was older, maybe 9 or 10 years when he figured out how to actually masturbate while taking a shower. Immediately Bruce became a fan of self-pleasure, though, with puberty, he became extremely shy about his body being seen. Still, when his pubic hair sprouted and his penis grew bigger, it astonished him how incredible the sensations could feel with adult genitalia.

All through his 20s and 30s Bruce loved masturbating and did it often. Something kept tell him though, that there could be more to it. None of the books he read about Tantra and Taoist erotic cultivation provided simple how-to instructions. Finally, in his early 40s, he came upon Joseph Kramer’s video about male genital massage: FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN.

Having no playmates to try this with, he tried it on himself. In the process, he discovered what he soon named “Mindful Masturbation.” For 6 weeks he masturbated for hours every day, and did not ejaculate once! This was the Penis Paradise he had been looking for since his adventures playing doctor as a young boy. He was changed forever and lost most of his shyness and insecurities.

Bruce began to listen deeply to whatever his penis told him. This way he learned more and more about male masturbation, the penis, and he studied human sexuality. Soon he was hired to write professionally for the sex education site JackinWorld (dot) com, which he did for some years under the name “Bruce McFarland.”

Since then, his erotic activism is more radical and he uses his actual given name: Bruce P. Grether, AKA the Batemaster. He has hosted workshops and now does online masturbation coaching. In 2012 his best-selling book THE SECRET OF THE GOLDEN PHALLUS was published and with his handsome young friend Blue Tyger he created the Erotic Engineering site to explore advanced male self-pleasure practices.

Bruce considers himself a Missionary of the Male Mysteries and his work continues.

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20 Comments

  1. Lubes
    Yes the penis by design is meant to be lubed for sure. And for eons I used lube & have tried a variety of slippery lotions and lubricants. It’s great to try different ones for sure as they all have their own characteristics for slipperiness & texture and things.

    Then for some reason stopped using lubes and became a dry bator. I suppose the only advantage is there’s less mess on keyboard & mouse when using my bate computer. Wonder if anyones tried one of those water proof keyboards, I’ve seen where they show you can wash your keyboard off. Which would be a great idea. As it is, it’s amazing when we avid bators turn our keyboards upside down now & then.

    1. The waterproof keyboard is a great idea! Yes, as you knowI’m all for lots of lube, and usually encourage too much as better than not enough. Indeed, there are no absolute rules, and I still sometimes do some dry masturbation myself, for example waking in the early morning with an erection, I don’t always bother with lube. To emphasize squeezing, lightly tickling, or sliding the outer shaft skin over the inner hard core of the erection, or rubbing and triggering the frenulum can prove very effective. Still, a great deal of vigorous rubbing dry can de-sensitize you, though of course it’s quite different for intact men.

  2. Mote orgasms…

    So true, I’m in the same boat. 50 years of masturbating and it does take a toll on real sexual performance. I’ve always been a better bator than a fuck. Bonering for my handiwork just fine but then going limpy whenever I got near a puss. And a 63 I guess it is what it is & still enjoy my morning masturbation.

    Omg yes the Magic Wand is an amazing vibe, I used mine for years. Kept it plugged in and under the bed for my morning session. And later kept in the closet like lots of bators likely do. I used mine so much I had repair the cord. Eventually I stopped using it – for some reason. Still have it and should really give it a try again.

    I’ll also give “anal breathing” a closer look, so to speak. I do enjoy rubbing that area for sure or even having just a bit of pressure there. Such as sitting on a loosely rolled up hand towel.

    1. Thanks, Brother! Indeed, sometimes a break, if you “forget about” something such as a vibrator a specific toy or practice you really enjoyed for a while, it can be fun and fruitful for your pleasure levels to re-discover it, and it seems new and exciting to discover it all over again. Yes, the “anal breathing,” or variations such as Kegels and PC clenches are great exercise for masturbators. As I said, I do these while I masturbate, which makes them not only painless as a workout, but especially pleasurable. Enjoy!

      1. Yes that vibes on the top shelf to my closet & have plenty of outlets at my bate station. It’s a bit noisy & the vinyl cum cup is a bit stiff instead of soft & supple.

  3. I might suggest a simple remedy to the oilly mouse. I’ve put saran wrap over my keyboard, but found that an ordinary sandwich bag over my wireless mouse works just great!

    1. Great idea for keeping the mouse from getting all gooey. Such a simple solution, I could also see using the plastic bag my morning newspaper comes in. It’s thin and would easily slip over. Also, how’s about a condom. Bet it would fit great, get the non-lubed ones.

        1. Is interesting to notice how ingenious we can be when it comes to finding new ways to pleasure ourselves. We’re totally driven by – sex.

  4. When I found out coconut oil never went back to ordinary lubes.
    I have a very sensitive skin and all the lubes that I used were causing irritation.
    Tried organic parabenes free and fragrance free but they were expensive as
    Used albo once and got a massive allergic reaction to it .My penis got so swollen and painful so i rushed to the doctor immediately .
    Coconut oil as the Batemaster suggested .
    Good for the skin too 😉

    1. Most guys I know who try it come to prefer coconut oil. Out of respect for my penis, I always use 100% organic, and use the unfiltered, though it can have a few grains, they’ve never scratched my ultra-sensitive penis.

  5. Yup! I’m all for guys making their own choices regarding specifics of the bate, but as you suggest, Brother, coconut oil is something that many men choose to stick with after first trying it. At the same time, whatever boats you float, right?

    1. A typical masterbating session for me definitely involves bringing myself to just short of cumming number of times. Each time I don’t cum my desire for orgasm increases along with the sensation in the head of my cock. When I do eventually climax it can be overwhelming making me very vocal with an intense sensation in my cock and sometimes throughout my body. So teasing your cock I can definitely recommend. On the subject of porn I enjoy the stimulation it gives which is sometimes needed as I get older.

  6. Nothing turns me on more than touching a womans legs and masturbating. I can do this everyday and have or come very close to orgasm. I am 75 years old and have been doing this for many years. My wife who is not into that much sex anymore allows me to do this every now and again. For a few years now it’s the only way I can have an orgasm. I still have sex with my wife but after she has her climax, I finish by masturbating. She will strike a sexy pose, prehaps with her legs crossed, gently touch my nipples while I touch her legs and masturbate. Is there anyone else out there with similar desires.