“There is absolutely nothing wrong with being asexual, if that is truly what is going on with you.”

QUESTION:

Am I asexual? I only masturbate once every week or two, and sex is not so important to me as it seems to many guys. I think most guys my age—I’m in my 30s—are obsessed with sex and masturbation. I am healthy enough and quite happy with my life. But I wonder: am I okay?

RESPONSE:

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being asexual, if that is truly what is going on with you. People’s sex drives naturally range tremendously from intense and constant awareness of all things sexual, to those, more like you, for whom sexuality is more like a glowing ember that only fans into flame periodically. There is nothing necessarily better or worse about those who might identify with any portion of this wide spectrum of sexual intensity. Most people are somewhere along the middle part of this range.

Be aware that I am not a medical professional or a psychologist. I have many years of experience studying male sexuality, especially as it relates to masturbation, also I’ve spoken with many thousands of men on these subjects over the years. If you have not discussed your relatively low libido with a doctor, it would be wise to do so at some point. Find out if they feel it is worth checking such matters as your T-level (testosterone) or other organic matters related to hormones, biology, and brain chemistry.

This is not to suggest to you that there is anything wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with having a relatively lower level of sexual intensity in your character and nature than many of your fellow human males. No more so is the opposite, having a high libido necessarily a problem.

What matters most is that you are comfortable with your sex-drive. Hopefully you do enjoy masturbation when you engage in the activity. It also matters that you are happy with your life overall, which you indicate. Never let anyone make you feel odd, or strange just because you are somewhat different from some others. So long as you do not suffer from conditioned inhibition, guilt, or shame, or an extreme urge to conceal and deny your sexual nature, your asexuality—if that’s what it is—may be nothing more than an individual difference.

Our human sexual drive is a valuable and important part of our existence, whether it’s an ongoing blaze, or the kind of ember I mentioned. Pleasurable erotic sensations ought to be cherished, whether in a somewhat muted form or overwhelmingly intense. There is truth to “if you don’t use it, you lose it.” At least once every week or two, it would be wise to make sure that you masturbate or engage in sexual activity, just to keep your systems in working order, and for enjoyment, such as it is.

There is no measure of how “most people” ought to be, but at the same time, people change over time. Possibly someday your libido might increase unexpectedly. However, if it seems to increasingly diminish anytime soon, do consult a medical professional.

Meanwhile, if you are truly asexual, which sounds possible, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!

A note from The Batemaster: I’m honored that the guys at Bateworld have asked me to respond to some questions from male masturbators around the world every week.

Always check with your doctor about any issues you might be experiencing with your sexual organs. Prompt diagnosis and treatment are important. This article’s purpose is to inform and entertain readers and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment.